


Hook, line and choker

by garden_of_stars



Series: A Garden of Stars [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crossdressing, Dominance, Exhibitionism, Fluff and Angst, Incest, Love Confessions, M/M, Nude Photos, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, Sibling Incest, fucking while on the phone with the RFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-25 11:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14377569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garden_of_stars/pseuds/garden_of_stars
Summary: And he clings to Saeran, because he doesn't want to fall back down.And he kisses Saeran, because his breath is The Word.And he holds Saeran, because his touch is a promise.And he weeps with Saeran, because his tears are forgiveness.This story continues on the morning after the previous fic in this series. Saeran and Saeyoung wake up the morning after sleeping together - and Saeran asks that Saeyoung prove he's really being serious about wanting to be in a relationship. Which involves a shopping trip, a beach trip, and some cross-dressing. Starts out fluffy, ends up pretty filthy.Chapters with actual pornographic scenes will be flagged in the chapter's description. First smut is Chapter 9 (semi-public sex). Theextra dirtystuff (see: all other tags) starts towards the end of Chapter 12 and is the entirety of Chapter 13 - 14.If incest fiction makes you uncomfortable, do not read this fic. The fic is based on RP transcripts. Okay. Now you're across everything, lol.





	1. The morning after

**Saeran**

Saeran's sleep is deep and dreamless, but too short. His body accustomed to power napping, though this time it was a bit too long to be truly called a nap.

Still, 4 hours of sleep is not enough for most people, but by his standards he's feeling pretty well rested.

And for once, waking up isn't quite so abrupt. No sense of psychological pressure that he must be going somewhere, doing _something._

Saeran revels in it, stretching out slightly before burying his face back into Saeyoung's chest. Ah... So comfortable...

...

Wait...

Oh.

Right.

A lot happened last night.

Rather than panic this time, Saeran keeps his eyes closed and just listens to the regular thump-thump-thump of Saeyoung's heart.

... yeah.

This is good.

He has no regrets.

Saeyoung's embrace has loosened with sleep, but still warm and comforting. All opposition to their love melted away.

Staying cuddled up for a while, eventually Saeran starts needing to pay attention to his body. Hunger gnaws, bladders burst and all that.

Sigh.

Time to get up.

Extracting himself, Saeran feels the loss keenly, and gently pets Saeyoung's hair by way of apology before making his way out of the room to take care of business.

And he _was_  thinking of making food for Saeyoung... breakfast together would be nice.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung awakes like he often does, clinging to a pillow and drooling slightly.

He's in his bed. Also normal.

The sunlight behind the curtains seems bright. Yup. Who needs a sleep schedule...

It's quiet... nothing strange about that.

He feels relaxed... odd, but not unheard of.

Saeran's missing...

(Well, I mean, of course. He hasn't slept with me in...)

(...)

(...)

(...)

(We slept together)

(After we SLEPT TOGETHER)

(...)

(...right...)

He...

He doesn't regret it...

But... does Saeran...?

Things can look different in the morning.

And Saeran's... gone.

Again.

(I mean)

God.

What should he do when they next meet?

Act... normal.... and wait to see if Saeran is warm or cold? If he runs or if he...

if he...

smiles?

(I miss him already)

(I miss him so much)

(And now that... this has happened...)

(If he rejects me now...)

He couldn't die, if his brother was still alive.

That's

irresponsible.

But

...

...

...

...

...

he'd want to.

(Now that I know what it's like to be with my other half like this...)

(Even just for a day...)

(I don't know... if I can call anything else left when that is taken away, 'living'.)

It hurt so much to be separated from Saeran... to leave the first time.

The way he's feeling now...

Must have been similar to how Saeran felt...

When he looked...

And Saeyoung was just...

gone...

Saeyoung takes a few deep breaths.

He recognises the catastrophic thinking patterns, even if naming them doesn't really make them feel any less severe.

But whatever he finds outside the room, he needs to stop the spiral before he steps out, or it's going to colour everything.

So he breathes, and counts... at least his agency training has given him plenty of ways to focus and clear his mind.

(You can't change the outcome like this.)

(So go find him and hope for the best).

He fills his heart with the feelings from last night, letting them calm him, and steps out, as ready as he'll ever be.

**Saeran**

A good tactic for not letting such thoughts overwhelm you is... being productive! Moving your body!

Which is exactly what Saeran is doing. He's spent the last half an hour or so organizing the dishes, getting ingredients out and is finally ready to begin cooking.

He'd spent a while deliberating on what exactly to make, then finally settled on french toast. It's simple but delicious.

And it smells heavenly.

Saeyoung can definitely get a whiff of it down the hall. If the faint sounds of movement and dishes clinking didn't give it away.

Saeran is being very precise with his cooking, referring to his phone once or twice just to make sure he gets it right.

He's... not exactly dressed for it though, still in Saeyoung's large shirt.

As mentioned before: It's comfortable.

**Saeyoung**

Still only wearing his boxers, Saeyoung’s not exactly dressed for a genteel breakfast himself.

Together they make _almost_ one decently clothed human.

As he walks down the corridor to the kitchen, the smell calms him, reassures him that things must be okay.

(He... wouldn't be cooking if he was angry...)

(Unless like... there are people who do that.)

The term "hate baking" comes to his mind out of nowhere and he chuckles, the stupidity of it helping him relax even more.

(It's fine...)

Finally Saeyoung reaches the doorway, and just like Saeran had the night before, leans against it, watching his brother.

The mood is quite a bit different, however.

Saeyoung smiles, watching his twin quietly until he turns around.

(This is... really nice...)

**Saeran**

Sensing he's being watched, Saeran turns soon enough.

It's almost as if their roles are reversed. Except Saeran isn't crying, and there's no unresolved feelings...

... no, that's not quite right. There _is_ an awkwardness in the air. Something they haven't discussed.

Seeing Saeyoung awake and attentive makes Saeran all the more self-conscious of what they've done... what he's currently _doing_ , like they're actually... some sort of...

Couple?

He flushes and turns his eyes back to the breakfast food. One thing at a time.

There's way too much to unpack regarding that first thing in the morning, and he'd rather just cherish their peace a little longer.

"...morning. I made you some food..."

He was right. It felt good to make something for Saeyoung to enjoy.

Except that begs the question, just what _does_ Saeyoung enjoy?

The thought strikes Saeran suddenly, that he doesn't know much about what his brother likes other than junk food.

... it's too sad... that they missed out on knowing that much about each other.

Somehow it fills Saeran with determination though. He wants to know everything about Saeyoung, so he _will._

"Let me know if there's anything you dislike."

For now, his twin will have to deal with the french toast though. Saeran plates it and holds it out for him.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung enters the kitchen at his brother's gesture, relieved to see no hint of... fear, or blame.

(What we've done... maybe he should.)

But that thought is very separate from the rest of him. And very distant.

The rest of him is so happy to see Saeran like this...

Saeran isn't quite looking at him though, as he reaches out the hand holding the plate.

Part of Saeyoung wants to lean in, and kiss his twin on the cheek as he accepts the food.

But what if this is a peace offering, a truce, rather than an outright continuation what happened before?

He satisfies himself with something in-between, taking the plate with one hand, the other briefly, lightly touching his brother's waist, just for a moment. A light, undemanding touch he hoped would show Saeran he was...

...what?

(I'm... happy to see you)

He leans in a little, wary of getting in Saeran's way as he finishes up, fingers leaving his brother's waist with reluctance "It smells amazing. I'll wait for you, okay?"

Then he leaves for the living room, head dizzy with the way his heart skipped even at that brief contact.

**Saeran**

Saeran picks up on the way Saeyoung acts strangely hesitant, for someone usually so full of confidence. It's confusing. Maddening.

The contact was too brief.

What if he just pushed Saeyoung up against the counter and had his way with him instead?

Stopping him is the thought that, while he doesn't regret it... maybe Saeyoung does.

It honestly hadn't occurred to him, too preoccupied with his own emotions to even consider that maybe Saeyoung didn't want this anymore.

No, that's not quite right, he was just ...

Trusting.

Curling fingers into the countertop, Saeran struggles not to beat himself up over that. Literally.

He's overreacting.

They both are.

He can recognize his brother putting on a happy face... it was just harder to distinguish when some of the happiness was real.

Saeran takes a deep breath.

... the food really does smell good...

Saeyoung hadn't been lying. Not completely. The happiness... it wasn't fake.

Taking a plate for himself, he goes to join Saeyoung in the dining area, seating himself close to Saeyoung. But not too close.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung sees the space between them and isn't sure how to interpret it.

It's miles closer than Saeran would ever have sat next to him before.

But certainly not as close as... when they...

Although. That said.

It'd kinda be difficult to eat like that.

He can't help it.

The thought makes him chuckle.

No matter how much he tears himself down, circles around potential catastrophe.

Something in him has always been able to step outside himself and laugh. And even now, at this careful negotiation of where they're to go next... he laughs.

He can _feel_ Saeran's curiosity and confusion from across the small space between them.

Fuck it.

If he's going to be rejected, if they're going to have to renegotiate, he might as well remain honest. He already agreed. Saeran had asked him to be honest.

Better to just rip that bandaid off and see how much of him goes with it.

"Haha... sorry... I just... was thinking about how close we are right now and... how close we were a bit earlier... and how complicated that would make trying to eat at the same time and..."

He rubs at his eyes with one hand. "I'm sorry. It's dumb. I'm dumb. I'm just..." he looks at his lap and mumbles. "My imagination likes to keep me on my toes."

**Saeran**

Saeran stops with his toast halfway to his mouth.

This is...

Awkward, yet… actually kind of arousing. That Saeyoung couldn't help but think about him, particularly like that...

For some reason, a sentence from that playboy book sticks out in his mind.

"'Coffee, tea, or me...'?"

It's so ridiculous that despite all the unresolved tension still left between them, Saeran can't help but smirk. 

(Haha...)

This means it's fine to tease Saeyoung a little, right? He's... allowed to indulge?

Even if he isn't, he can't resist... can barely control this feeling.

"... relax. You could just ask." He manages, not knocking the table over just yet to claim Saeyoung as his his _his_ and no taking it back.

Instead, he puts his french toast back down. An effort, when it’s clearly so delicious, and he spent so much time on it.

But right now, he's much more hungry for what is right in front of him.

The eyes Saeran is giving Saeyoung are bedroom ones.


	2. Time, place, opportunity - idiot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Their food is getting cold._
> 
> _Saeran is too overwhelmed for once to notice. Saying things during the heat of sex was one thing, saying things when he was upset or guilty was one thing, but this..._
> 
> Saeran kisses Saeyoung's guilt away, at least for now - then requests Saeyoung prove he's really serious about dating him.
> 
> All fluff - we wanted to explore what was going on in their hearts after everything that happened, and how they reconcile their desires with their fears!

**Saeyoung**

Here he is, wondering if Saeran is trying to let his twin down easily with a nice meal and a "I care about you but I think we went a little far," admonition, something Saeyoung has been preparing himself to hear for the last twenty minutes.

Preparing to be shot down...

Instead...

He's basically had his awkward attempt at conversation turned into a proposition.

He...

...isn't... against it...

...especially when Saeran's... looking at him like that.

Suddenly, he's aware of just how little his wearing, and just how obvious it's going to be if he doesn't stop his current train of thought that involves Saeran on top of him with that look on his face and -

\- GOD HE'S HOT and -

\- his tongue pushing inside his brother's mouth and -

hhh...

He's starting to sweat.

"Y-you... I don't want to waste all your hard work Saeran," he manages to return, not able to look away from his brother's gaze. "Not that I don't want... uh..."

He can't keep looking at his brother like this without going completely red. "...you..." he manages, eyes dropping to the couch.

He takes a breath for composure…

> **System message: Composure increase. Composure now at 15%**

…and risks another look up. "But I also really want to savour the meal you made for me... my..."

(say it, say it, he's not going to hate you)

"...one and only..."

**Saeran**

It felt good watching Saeyoung sweat, clearly at odds with his own desires. There was something gratifying about it.

Except Saeyoung deflects, dropping his gaze, and the frustration builds and builds and why can't he see that all Saeran wants is--

Oh.

His... one and only...

That's... what he wanted to hear, when it all came down to it.

He wanted to share a meal like this with Saeyoung too... it was just...

"...what... are we now?"

No, that's not quite the right question. They're each other's other half, as always.

But...

"What does that mean?"

Better. Less stupid.

**Saeyoung**

Somehow, it feels like finally, Saeyoung got something right.

"My one and only..." he repeats, tasting the words.

"I..."

It would be easier to say if they were touching. So he touches. Shuffling over to place a hand on Saeran's thigh, a gesture that right now means so many different things to him and provokes so many different feelings.

It's not a neutral touch. But it's honest.

"It means I don't regret... anything. Saeran, I-" he takes in another calming breath. "I know what we did isn't... exactly... acceptable to most other people. And I'm scared of what that could mean for you living your life in the outside world..."

"I'm scared that my honesty about how I feel is going to make life harder for you. Because these feelings... what I mean when I call you that..."

"I love you... both as my brother... but I … also..."

"No matter how much darkness I find myself in... it's you... that my mind... my heart reaches out for."

"And despite knowing what people would think of it. Yeah... I love you... and that means I want to hold you... protect you... be with you... in... every way..."

Now that he's said it, something in his causes him to straighten up, confidence returning to his voice.

"That's what I mean... when I call you that."

"Saeran."

"My love..."

**Saeran**

Their food is getting cold.

Saeran is too overwhelmed for once to notice. Saying things during the heat of sex was one thing, saying things when he was upset or guilty was one thing, but this...

(Isn't it because I'm actually listening now?)

How ironic that he had resented Saeyoung over not listening to him for so long, only for Saeran to do the same.

Yet Saeyoung spoke of the outside world as if it mattered, as if it ever did anything good for them.

... but Saeyoung did have a much better experience than he did with it, didn't he... the RFA...

Covering Saeyoung's hand with their own, entwining their fingers, Saeran looks down. His voice wobbles a little.

"You're more afraid than I am about what others will think."

**Saeyoung**

Nothing sends a knife through Saeyoung's chest like the sound of that wobble in his brother's voice.

If someone else had caused his brother to feel that way, he'd be having to talk himself out of tracking them down and hacking every social media account they had. Setting their smart home lights to flash "DISAPPROVE" in Morse code throughout the night.

Changing their default browser to something from 1998.

But instead... it's him.

He's making Saeran look like this.

He'd do anything to make it okay.

Anything.

"Saeran..."

He can't leave him looking like this and not want to comfort him, hold him.

So he does, turning his body to lean into his brother, still holding his hand, and kisses his cheek lightly.

Their first kiss since waking...

...it's not a joyful moment, but –

\- his heart pounds doing it, all the same.

The fact hasn't changed. Being this honest is dangerous.

But he's not going to be able to stop now.

"Saeran..."

"I don't want to be the reason why you can't have the option to do... anything in the world you could dream of."

"I don't want my love to be the thing that limits you."

With his free hand, he brushes Saeran's hair back from where it hangs over his eyes, still soft and sweet-smelling from their earlier shower.

"It's selfish for me to love you like this... because it _will_ make some things harder for you out there. I want you to be able to be free to do what you want to do, to laugh, and never have to hide from anything or anyone ever again."

His grip on Saeran's hand grows tighter. "But I also want you more than I want the world."

There's a fierceness in his voice he didn't anticipate feeling, but now that he's talking, it claws its way out of his chest like a hungry wolf. "And I want you-" the wolf he didn't even know he had inside growls "-more than I want you to want the world."

He breathes out slowly. "That's my selfishness. But I don't want my selfishness to hold you back, Saeran. That's why I care about how the world sees you."

"I don't want anything or anyone to be able to stop you from being happy. Ever again. Especially not me."

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's sudden fierceness sends a thrill up his spine, and Saeran sits a little straighter in response.

But he still doesn't get it, does he?

"Hyung... There's a saying that forgiveness is another name for freedom."

It was something Zen said, when Saeran first got to know him.

"When I forgave you... I found freedom. When I chose you... I found freedom."

His voice gains strength as he talks. Words are words. But they're powerful too.

So many spells have been cast with them.

"So don't say your love limits me..."

He knows all too well how untrue that is.

"The world's always been what holds me back. Telling me I was useless, and weak... so it could control me. So much so that I couldn't recognize at first... you were just trying to unchain me."

The anger, the hate... was so blinding.

He was such a coward.

Such a burden.

But now he's committed to facing his fears. Choosing to stand and fight for his own true desires.

"If you want me to be happy, then let me stay with you. Please... let me be strong for my own sake. Let me love you, for my own sake..."

Once they had made a promise.

On a day where the sun hung so low it had dyed the sky a brilliant golden-red, so reminiscent of Saeyoung's own colours...

 Saeran had promised Saeyoung to be generous and gentle, not selfish or angry. To never lose himself to those feelings.

It was a promise long since broken.

Even now there's a selfishness and an anger to his words. How dare Saeyoung presume what was best for him.

But - it was clear that Saeyoung was only worrying over him. That he wanted Saeran to see the world as he did, with the beauty it could offer.

It's what Saeran adores about his brother too. And it's not like he hasn't caught glimpses of what he means...

But.

"To be honest, I'm not interested in a world without you in it by my side."

So much so he feels the need to ask Saeyoung to leave it. Abandon all other ties and just go somewhere with him where they don't have to care about society.

Only... it'd break Saeyoung's heart.

**Saeyoung**

He doesn’t want  to imagine a future without Saeran by his side, either.

Whether he deserves it is one thing...

But more important.

_Most_ important.

Is Saeran.

Who can make his own decisions.

(And... I want the same thing...)

Then... for both their sakes.

Doesn't it have to be this way?

And if Saeran stays by Saeyoung's side... then, he can share little pieces of the world with him. Small treasures. Shells washed up on the beach.

He's right. Not everything needs to live in the ocean. (Some of us left it behind...)

Some of us are quite happy, wandering along the shore, and looking at the interesting things that wash up... it's enough.

It's happiness.

"Saeran..."

"I don't want to be in a world without you by my side, either."

He raises their entwined hands to his lips, and kisses their overlapping fingers, then presses them to his own cheek.

"Saeran."

"If that's the world that will make you happy."

"It's even more than my selfish desires have let me dare to hope for."

"I love you so much. I love you more than anything else."

"I want to wake up next to you... I want to kiss you... I want to show you all my favourite places in the night sky... I want to hold you, and make meals for you, and eat the meals you make..."

"So... if that's what you want, then..."

"I'm happy... I'm so happy... Saeran..."

"I don't want you to be anywhere but here, with me."

**Saeran**

Saeran can see how happiness shines out of his brother's face, like an illustration of a saint in one of the storybooks from church.

To think he had ever hated that face. The shimmer in those eyes, the hue of the skin, the shape of those lips...

Leaning forward, Saeran captures them in a kiss.

Like this, he can capture happiness too.

Desperately, Saeran hopes that he can always find such happiness in Saeyoung.

It's healing, a salve for wounds left raw and rotting for too long. Every touch pulling out the poison that seeped into his skin.

Wanting to take all of it in, Saeran keeps his eyes open as he fits their mouths together again and again. Though the colour has changed, the pattern in their eyes still appear perfectly aligned.

God had to have made them this way on purpose... opposite but the same.

Like a battery, energy can only run through them if they have the other.

There’s sparks in the space between them.

The frayed wiring that had prevented that before has been welded together again...

Hasn't it?

There's still one last thing...

Breaking the kiss, Saeran murmurs into Saeyoung's mouth.

"Me too... So much, I want to share with you..."

"So don't be ashamed. Forgive yourself."

The guilt Saeyoung still carries is all too heavy, and Saeran feels it stuck between them. Heavy and unmovable.

Saeran knows how hard it is to forgive yourself. He hasn't been able to either, for so many things...

But he refuses to be ashamed of what they’re doing now.

This is something that's his. Someone who has always been his. He won't feel shame for that. He'll only treasure it.

That's why Saeyoung shouldn't hold onto the guilt either. Not if they're going to be two halves of a whole.

**Saeyoung**

As Saeran seeks out his lips again and again, breakfast lying forgotten on the table, hands and bodies seeking each other out and receiving warmth in return...

... every kiss feels like a wave washing over Saeyoung.

The shower before cleaned his body.

Now it's like his brother's delicate, precise, _needing_ fingers are wiping his soul clean with every touch.

Every time he comes up for air, his brother pushes him back down into the water, with words and kisses and touches and...

...forgiveness.

Every time he's ever hoped for forgiveness like this...

... he's just expected it to be because he's drowned.

In his guilt. His sins.

But Saeran isn't drowning him.

Every push against his mouth.

This grip on his wrist.

He's being raised up.

_And he clings to Saeran, because he doesn't want to fall back down._

_And he kisses Saeran, because his breath is The Word_

_And he holds Saeran, because his touch is a promise._

_And he weeps with Saeran, because his tears are forgiveness._

And he _wants_ Saeran,

body,

mind

soul,

holy trinity,

forever and ever

i'm yours

amen

...

Saeyoung doesn't know if he's been talking.

He just knows that he's broken the surface of the water

with Saeran

and there's nothing left.

Washed clean.

He finds himself entirely tangled with his twin on the couch, panting, gasping, desperate to share another breath.

He's pulled the shoulder down of Saeran's shirt... his shirt... or Saeran has... his hands underneath it, holding his brother tightly like he's going to float away.

He's not even sure what they've been doing, other than just _forgiving_

touching

breathing each other in.

The tears on his face are finally drying.

**Saeran**

Saeran is kissing the last traces of them away.

Moving Saeyoung to tears isn't new to him. Too often has he witnessed Saeyoung on the verge of crying.

At least this time, it isn't because of pain.

Anything but.

What just passed between them...

It was rebirth.

A difficult labour, with complications, but they made it.

Saeran feels it in how he's not only shed the trappings of a cocoon, but stretched his wings too.

Though... the physical restraint of his shirt somewhat prevents Saeran from appreciating the full extent of it.

Clumsily, as if he's becoming accustomed to his body all over again, Saeran extracts Saeyoung's hands and leans back so he can take it off.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung is still shaking like he only just learned how to use his limbs. He sees his brother struggle with the shirt and tries to help, weak as a kitten.

**Saeran**

He's seen Saeyoung come close to breaking many times before. Usually on his own voilition.

But nothing like this.

Despite how weak his brother seemed, trembling and boneless and barely able to function, it wasn't a break.

It was release. Like Saeyoung had just let go of too many things at once, and was left shaking from the force of it.

All because there was something he had to grasp onto, no matter what.

That wouldn't leave him any less vulnerable and exposed though.

"Poor brother..." Saeran sighs into the kiss, understanding. Gently petting Saeyoung's hair as he does. "I'll take care of you."

**Saeyoung**

Why couldn't he be reborn with a cat's vocal chords, so he could purr right now?

Oh well.

Still, his voice rumbles awkwardly in his chest, like he hasn't spoken for months, even though he just did only minutes before.

"Saeran."

He clings and nuzzles and finally - remembers what a chuckle is.

It _does_ kinda sound like a purr.

"Let's eat..."

After all...

... breaking bread is a thing you're meant to do, right?

**Saeran**

"...It'll need to be microwaved..."

Saeran takes the plates and sorts things out quickly, returning to Saeyoung’s side in only a couple minutes, Saeyoung still a little shaky from their kisses and his forgiveness.

**Saeyoung**

The shower, and this...

It's a new experience, being looked after like this by Saeran.

They'd looked _out_ for each other in the past, but...

Even if it wasn't by a lot...

Saeyoung had always acted the way he thought an older brother should act.

And, while they were kids, Saeran was - he flicks his eyes across to his twin -

_is_ a cute younger brother.

He'd take in that cuteness a little longer, but the smell of breakfast is reawakening that part of his brain designed to keep him alive, and that part says: eat.

...it's...

...hard to eat slowly.

It's sweet, and warming and so satisfying to just hold each bite in his mouth...

A small smirk makes its way into his face.

(Kinda like Saeran)

He must already be feeling better, he realises, if he's starting to make lewd jokes to himself again.

Oh.

Despite his best efforts, he's done already.

"That... was really, really good."

How can he even communicate how much he enjoyed eating something Saeran made?

It's. A lot.

"I'm grateful..."

**Saeran**

Taking small bites from the start so as to let the food last - a habit learned when it was scarce - Saeran watches how Saeyoung's expressions change as he eats.

It feels good knowing he can provide for his twin like this.

It feels even better that Saeyoung is clearly enjoying it. Enthusiastic and energetic at first, like he was a starving man, then more slowly as his stomach was satiated.

Most of all, knowing he made it with love and that they could share it... Fills Saeran with happiness.

"I can make more whenever you want."

Because he wants to.

The gratitude and appreciation Saeyoung has...

He could get more addicted to that than sugar.

**Saeyoung**

Whenever he wants?

Saeyoung, his senses sharpening and body finally waking up, reaches his hands up above his head and stretches, arching his back and feeling a few satisfying little clicks in his back as a few things realign.

It feels good, the stretch, and...

"I always thought whoever dated you would be... very, very happy..." he muses, giving Saeran a sneaky look between stretches, now letting his shoulders and arms roll forward to stretch his back the other way.

"Seems like I was 100% right on that."

He can't say he's not curious to hear how his brother responds to that.

This confirmation that to Saeyoung, they're... a couple now.

Although, he smiles (guess that's always been how it was, one way or the other.) Even apart...

**Saeran**

Saeran feels the heat creeping up his neck to his cheeks to his _ears_.

They... Really were a couple now weren't they?

Saeyoung's claim he always thought someone would be lucky to date him is simply too unbelievable though.

"How could you even think that when the last time we knew each other we were 15."

It certainly had never been on Saeran's mind. But he'd never been much interested in romance at all...

Actually.

Come to think of it... When you date someone, you're supposed to ask, right?

Narrowing his eyes at Saeyoung's (adorable, handsome --) devilish smirk, Saeran decides to poke him back for some just desserts.

"You never asked if I wanted to be a couple though... I thought we were just going to be brothers with benefits."

It might as well be true too.

**Saeyoung**

A somewhat more secretive smile plays along Saeyoung’s lips now, although he makes no effort to hold the secrets in this time.

“Yeah…”

Well…

“I guess I’ve always been a little more interested in that stuff, huh…” He doesn’t say it wistfully.

Just an acknowledgement that despite how they fit together like two halves, they were both their own unique pattern. Even before they were separated, although that certainly exaggerated some things…

“…I was thinking about Saeran the boyfriend… Saeran the husband… "

"...from when I first learned two people could be like that together…”

He hadn’t learned it from his own family, of course. He’d learned it from church. And from V and Rika, even if that turned out... how it did.

When he’d seen those two together, even then…

“…I always feared the day someone would take your heart away, so that you’d want to look at them before everyone else…”

They’ve been sitting apart just a little, while they ate, but now he shuffles back down so both their legs touch from thigh to calf.

Then playfully hooks his foot around Saeran’s.

“I guess I didn’t realise really understand what that might mean, though… that jealousy. Then.”

 Again, some memory stirs… some part of his mind whispers ‘no… you did understand, you did, and you…’

But the whisper is too quiet, and he does not hear it, for now.

He takes Saeran’s hands in his own, enjoying his brother’s remaining   blush and faint awkwardness.

“Saeran Choi. I love you. I’ve loved you a long, long time. Will you go out with me?”

**Saeran**

That was not exactly the reaction Saeran expected.

What does this make it now?

Saeran: 204

Saeyoung: 206

...?

Not that Saeran had been keeping a tally or anything of the times one "won" over the other.

He'll have to try catch up soon...

Suddenly, Saeran is very aware of how nude he is. How nude _Saeyoung_ is.

(But at least he has underwear.)

Where exactly they are.

The words were exactly right, but the situation...

He wants to die.

This might actually end up a loss for Saeyoung at least.

Blush back tenfold, Saeran pushes Saeyoung away slightly.

At least protesting will give him time to formulate a response which wasn't garbled stuttering either, though Saeran already knew how his twin felt.

"T-time, place, opportunity... idiot!"

Maybe it was a bit of a lie to say he was never interested in romance.

He was, in the sense he enjoyed playing silly games about it and pretending one day he could be that close to someone.

But it had always been a mere fantasy.

He never gave it serious thought.

And when he had thought about it more deeply...

It had always been painful, because the one person he'd want to have done that sort of stuff with was no longer there.

To the point he had resented that person.

Could not even conceive of someone loving them.

Even when he set up the party coordinator, he took for granted the fact she could have easily fallen for Saeyoung too.

That brief thought seizes Saeran's heart, though he knows now his brother is safe.

Is his.

Here...

All the more reason to do things right.

That didn't just mean living together. Making meals for each other. Sex.

Anyone could do that and not necessarily be a couple.

It meant so much more. Real displays of affection. Dates. Flowers. An effort being made.

"... I'll think about it when we actually go on a date."


	3. Hiding in plain sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins realise they can go on a normal date together without much fear, so long as one of them cross-dresses.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung chuckles at his twin’s reaction to his love confession, though it comes out much more like a giggle. "Oh~ You know about TPO? Can't believe you made it that far into the book so fast~"

His brother's reaction is too adorable. Who knew one day _he'd_ get to be the one to see Saeran like this.

Then again. They'd always had a bond like no one else. It had survived brainwashing, abuse, separation, lies...

It was a larger, older, more spiritual thing than the idea of romantic love alone. But romance certainly fit neatly inside it.

This bond. This love. It encompassed everything.

"So. You’re saying you wanna go on a date with me, huh?"

Saeyoung leans closer, aware of the effect it was having on his flustered twin.

This is a fun, fun dance. He likes it a lot.

Saeran is a good partner...

"I was thinking the same thing before we slept!"

He steeples his fingers and leans back again, thoughtfully, aware of how silly he looks right  now, posing like this in the near-nude. Owning it.

"The zoo... aquariums... star-gazing... the beach... the convenience store... Jumin's apartment when he isn't home..."

He can't help but throw in some dumb ideas.   And he wants to make Saeran smile. Or, tell Saeyoung he's an idiot.  Both are good.  Both he loves. Because it's Saeran.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's attempt at teasing Saeran about the book and its contents falls short, only achieving a blank look.

"I'm not that innocent. I learned about TPO a while back."

Saeyoung was underestimating him.

He had done his research.

Literally. That's why he had been playing those mobile dating games in the first place.

Some of them got rather steamy too...

And now he was excited to get a chance to try all of it out.

Of course, he's mainly talking about the dates.

(Of course.) His mind adds sardonically.

Saeran can't fool himself.

Saeyoung doesn't seem to be taking it seriously though. It exasperates him a little, but at the same time...

The banter is fun, and his brother's silliness...

It makes Saeran warm to his twin rather than be irritated by it.

Funny how liking someone made you appreciate things you used to disdain.

So, he considers the options Saeyoung has provided. This is his first date, _ever,_ and all the spots Saeyoung listed are places he's never been.

Well. Apart from the convenience store.

The idea of getting to discover new things with Saeyoung is enticing. In particular...

"I've never seen the sea... I always to go."

The city they were in was surrounded by mountains after all.

It would take a few hours to actually reach the coast.

But Saeran quite likes the idea of a road trip. Just taking the day and going... somewhere. Anywhere at all, with the person he adored. And he had always preferred the natural world.

The thought of it makes him smile.

That they would get to ride in one if Saeyoung's babe cars was a bonus.

"Why not?"

**Saeyoung**

"Oh~! That's perfect! I want to go with you so bad! My cute brother... on a beach towel... my heart's going to burst...!"

He's being playful, but at the same time...

... very, very serious.

A beach date with Saeran?

Count him.

The fuck.

In.

He's been by the shore on a mission or two. But only once for fun.

He still has the photo, somewhere...

Him and Zen fishing, with Zen looking uncharacteristically unsettled by the large fish Seven managed to reel in.

V took that photo.

He doesn't want to think about V though.

He’d rather make new memories of the beach with Saeran.

"...and if you have fun, then maybe you'll let me call you my cute boyfriend~♡"

Saeyoung pauses, eyeing his naked twin.

"We'll need to buy you a swimsuit. Oh. And the towel. Oh, and -" he takes a breath, already getting carried away, "-I mean, you don't have to swim if you don't want to, but it's nice to have the option."

He smiles.

"Sorry. I want to do everything with you. But it's not like we can't go on multiple beach dates... if you want"

Swimming, sandcastles... hell, why not a picnic too.

He's never anticipated an event like this before.

Something fun, outside... where he can be himself with Saeran.

"I... I really want to see the ocean with you..."

He touches Saeran's hand lightly.

"...as my date."

He can't say it enough times, honestly.

**Saeran**

The excitement is contagious. Saeran lets himself lean his forehead against Saeyoung's.

It all sounds perfect... But there's one problem.

"... I can't swim though."

He was never given the opportunity to learn.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung takes the opportunity to give his brother the tiniest nuzzle as his forehead rests against Saeran's.

"Oh... well, if you want to learn, I'll be more than happy to teach you."

He'd, of course, had to learn as part of his agency training, although he'd picked up a little during his time in college, too.

It’s so wrong that Saeran didn't get to have those experiences. He might be forgiven, but Saeyoung is going to do his best to make up for lost time,  anyway.

Even if Saeran only wants to stand on the shore of the world...

...he deserves to be able to dip his toe in whenever he feels like it, without fear. And with all the help he needs.

"But   if you just wanna walk along the shore, watch the waves, pick up shells  and... hold my hand..." He gives Saeran a squeeze. "That sounds wonderful, too."

**Saeran**

It does sound wonderful.

Saeran wants to waste no time, to just get up and get ready and be there.

However, they can't rush things. Even in this little heaven of theirs, there are restrictions on what they can and can't do.

Catching people's attention is definitely out.

"It'll have to be private." Saeran considers, absorbed in the thought.

They're twins. Even if people were fine with two guys holding hands, their relation was nonetheless obvious.

Not only was that dangerous from a discrimination perspective...

Their father was a concern too.

If they go shopping as well, it'll have to be discreet.

Saeyoung especially would have to curb his enthusiasm. Which, might have been possible, if Saeran was anyone else and it wasn't their first date.

... plus Saeran doesn't exactly want to hold back either.

Case in point: He can't help but steal a brief kiss, and Saeyoung nuzzles their noses.

It's all... too tempting.

That left only one real solution.

Saeran suspected his twin would be all for it.

"We'll need to dress up too."

In other words: DISGUISES.

**Saeyoung**

"You..."

Saeyoung's eyes just got twice as large. And somehow, sparklier.

"REALLY?"

He has...

...so many ideas right now.

"So... I can be... your date... even in a crowded place... and we could... just like a normal couple..."

He'd wanted to take Saeran everywhere, do everything, but he'd just assumed anything like that would be out... that they'd just have to...research the place and time... avoid drawing attention... avoid... showing too much affection...

For Saeran to suggest it... he must really, really be…

(He's really serious about this.)

His heart skips a beat.

"No one would think twice... we could do anything." He considers, for a second the vast wealth of things they could do.

"...nearly anything."

Another pause.

"Anything people would normally expect of a cute couple."

He looks at Saeran, practically vibrating with excitement.

"So... would you... go out with me... and kiss me... in public.. if I was d-dressed like your girlfriend? You'd be okay with that?"

(I... already know what dress I’d wear to the beach...)

**Saeran**

"...yeah."

It's cute how into the idea Saeyoung is.

But Saeran doesn't want to put all the effort on him.

"Or... I could try?"

He doesn't quite have the same experience with dresses or make up though.

When it came to costumes, Saeran's expertise was alternative fashion or choosing a mask and modifying it to allow it to distort his voice.

If Saeyoung could pull crossplay off though...

There's a chance Saeran could too.

He's somewhat intrigued by the concept as well.

**Saeyoung**

"....!!!"

His eyes can't actually go any wider, but damned if they don't try.

"You'd be such a beautiful girl..." he sighs, the imagination bubble almost visible over his head "...you look so good now... and with the right clothes and styling... ahhhhh..."

"I'll have to be careful someone doesn't try to steal you away from me... i-it's a risk I'm willing to take to see it though... your cute face... i-in...." he trails off, studying Saeran's eyes. "O-oh, imagine a hint of subtle gold here..." he gently traces a line under one eyebrow with his finger. "But your eyes alone are so deep and beautiful... I wouldn't want to add too much colour to distract from them... a little shimmer at most..."

He runs a finger through Saeran's hair, humming while he thinks. "So many hairstyles... I've got a. Hmm."

"There's the Antionette... it'd go with your eyes really well... luckily we have the same basic measurements so anything I have will..." As his eyes trail down from Saeran's face to his neck, he winds up touching there too, gently, alone the side down to the collarbone...

"Yeah... same as me... you don't need to hide there... you could highlight, in fact... ahh!!"

Suddenly he grasps Saeran's hands in his own. "Th-this means I could buy you a necklace! As a..." he colours, apparently out of nowhere "a uhm, a gift for my one and only..."

"...if that'd be something you'd... be okay wearing... then..."

He looks longingly at Saeran's neck, like he's imagining laying out the most beautiful treasures across it in his mind.

"I'd love to give you a gift you could wear..."

**Saeran**

Conflicted feelings rise in Saeran as Saeyoung rattles off all his ideas at lightning speed.

He understands the appeal of dressing someone up. He truly does.

But he also doesn't want to feel like a doll.

Even in Mint Eye he eventually rebelled against his selected clothing.

Nonetheless, Saeyoung's puppy eyes are difficult to resist.

Especially after how he touches Saeran in his contemplation, so reverent and intent.

Coupled with all the praise...

Saeran feels heat pool not just in his face, but also much lower.

D...dangerous...

Saeyoung doesn't seem to realize how powerful he really is.

Or is it that Saeran is just weak against him?

When he turns his gaze to Saeran's neck, wistful and yearning, asking if he could give Saeran a necklace as a gift...

Saeran does not miss the implications.

Yes, there's the romance. A pure need to dote on a lover.

But there's also the possessive side of it. A way of claiming Saeran as his own, seeing him wear a necklace that screams 'taken' and having Saeran wear it willingly.

Saeyoung can't hide that. Saeran sees it in his eyes. Feels it in the way his twin holds his hands.

... it's such a turn on.

Feeling very, very warm, Saeran glances away slightly to regain some composure.

"... as long as I can have my pick, then..."

Maybe later he'll find something to mark Saeyoung as his own too.

**Saeyoung**

It's so easy to touch, when he's this close, when there's nothing to stop his fingers from just directly brushing his twin's skin, picturing laying the out the finest of outfits, of wrapping his arms around Saeran in public, of people around them not disapproving, only envying him for managing to find and woo someone shining so brightly... or envying his brother of the same...

There’s something about the idea of going undercover... and having people look at them... and not having to be afraid, despite the fact that the two of them share such a secret...

Hhh. His fantasties are definitely getting the better of him. This all started with appreciating his brother, and now the _pride_ he feels about getting able to show him off, of being by his side, holding his hand

(saying he's _mine, mine, mine_ and _only mine_...)

He shouldn't let himself get carried away.

He smiles, letting his hand drift down from Saeran's cheek, this time not contemplating anything other than how beautiful his brother is.

Then his twin turns his head, which only allows Saeyoung the chance to admire the curve of his neck even more...

Saeran speaks...

(Oh... then... he'd wear it? And, of course... )

(Of course, it would be something he likes. Saeyoung would never want to give him something to wear that he didn't like...)

On that beautiful neck...

He...

...just needs to...

Saeyoung leans in, and lightly nibbles and the place where Saeran's neck and shoulder meet, then kisses up to his ear.

"You're so beautiful already..."

**Saeran**

"Oh...!" Saeran breathes, a little startled by the sudden kisses.

Saeyoung's mouth... Saeyoung's _mouth_ , it just feels so...

Any remaining control Saeran has over his libido wilts, like a flower without water.

He _thirsts_.

He might not last long like this. Completely at his brother's mercy, skin sensitive to every brush of teeth and breath against the most vulnerable part of his body.

Saeran's life really is in his brother's hands.

Then the praise...

Saeran might not believe it, but he's a glutton. He wants to feast on the sweetness of Saeyoung's words too.

But...

The date...

He wants that just as much.

To think his biggest problem now is whether or not to get ready to go out or pull his brother on top of him for another round.

The audacity makes Saeran laugh.

"Ah... So, you mean to give me a necklace of love bites?"

**Saeyoung**

It's only now that Saeyoung realises just... how much thinking about his brother like that has gotten him... on edge...

How easily, in so little time, he's come to transition so smoothly from looks to touches to _touches_ to kisses to _kisses_ to bites...

Once those barriers between them were down...

Everything just flowed from one state to the next, back and forth.

There really is nothing left dividing Saeyoung's heart from his brother's.

And yet.

They still are, in the end. Separate entities.

Separate bodies.

Fingers, legs that fit together like they were made to do so.

That are so _tempting_ to just...

...indulge in.

(Love bites, you say?)

"Maybe just a few... my love..."

He nibbles the lobe of Saeran's ear, his twin still looking away from him.

"If you want... I have room in my schedule... for a few..."

At first, he tells himself the "if you want" is giving Saeran an out, but...

It's not really much of an 'out' when Saeyoung knows what he's doing to his twin is fanning the flames even higher.

But... it feels so good... to light a fire like this.

It feels good... feeling his brother's skin burn with pleasure under his touch.

(The date...)

"We can make space for just a few kisses before our date, right?" he softly whispers into Saeran's ear.

"I know I'm being a little selfish though... I can wait..."

"I can wait until I ask you out by the shore..."

And he means it. Every word.

It'll be a wrench to the sensations currently coursing through his body, but...

for Saeran...

(...if he wants me to hold back, until I can confess to him, again and again... as many times as he wants...)

"I'll do it... if you want me to confess my feelings to you again... I'll go down on one knee for you, Saeran... I'll empty my heart to you on the sand, in the surf, under the sun and under the stars... I'll wait... and I'll ask..."

One last small kiss.

"If you want me to..."

It's not playing fair at all, to say all this.

But, he does mean it.

**Saeran**

Having thrown restraint to the wind, Saeyoung's question is almost pointless.

Saeran is already panting under him, senses completely seduced before he even knew it.

He... can't think straight.

His first answer is to moan.

Ah... in the future he will really need to be more careful.

Saeyoung is lucky Saeran is attuned to his voice, a radio signal constantly monitored in the back of his brain.

Otherwise he might just arch up into his twin and allow their arousal to gain more and more traction.

"A... few." Saeran sighs, unable to completely hide his disappointment when he finds strength to push Saeyoung back.

His neck feels so sensitive... Aching ever so tenderly...

Wearing a necklace, or a collar, might just be what's needed.

"That's enough for now."

Little does Saeyoung know that he was his own demise. His words only serving to excite Saeran more.

Somehow, the idea of holding back over the day... Seeing how dazzling Saeyoung could be out in nature...

Bent down on one knee...

The anticipation for that, and savouring it all...

Saeran's face is going red again.

He wants to touch Saeyoung like that as soon as he can.

They can kiss on the couch any time, right?

"Haha... Let's go get ready."

Saeyoung will need to do his makeup.

**Saeyoung**

His brother really is a romantic~

"Why do you sound beautiful, too? It's such a tease..."

He draws a shaky breath, trying not to think too hard about that moan.

Nope...he's thinking about it.

He's going to be thinking about that moan all day, goddammit.

But... it'll sound so much sweeter when he can make Saeran moan again... after the date.

He wonders how many steps he'll be able to take into the house once they return home before he's pushing Saeran against a wall.

(I may just have to carry him inside...)

Oh...

Now he REALLY wants to try that...

Then he can lay Saeran down gently and

make him beg

for the release

he just postponed.

...

...

...

He has to stop thinking about this or he's going to have... problems.

"I can be a gentleman... for you... my handsome brother... and..."

He summons the willpower to step off the couch, and, with a well-executed flourish, bows deeply to Saeran, taking one hand and kissing it.

"Today... my lady..."

"...we shall see the ocean."


	4. Thank you, oppa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran becomes a princess. Saeyoung nearly dies of a heart attack as a direct result. It's understandable.
> 
> _Adding colour to his lips is a lot more sensual than Saeyoung anticipated._
> 
> _When it's... the person you like..._
> 
> _Studying his lip shape. Outlining it..._
> 
> _He wants to kiss Saeran so badly._

**Saeyoung**  
As he applies his twin’s make-up, Saeyoung's struggles are only just beginning.

(Heart... beating...)

Looking so close at his brother's face...

He applies the lightest of touches... finishes with the subtlest of powders...

Saeran is wearing the protective smock Saeyoung uses to keep his clothes clean while he experiments with makeup, but of course

of course

even in that, he's just... so...

...cute...

Adding colour to his lips is a lot more sensual than Saeyoung anticipated.

When it's... the person you like...

Studying his lip shape. Outlining it...

He wants to kiss Saeran so badly.

But. He's being a gentleman, and besides, he can't go ruining his good work so quickly, either.

He offers advice, but gives Saeran options as well. This needs to be _his_. He needs to feel comfortable.

A mask can be emboldening, but a poor one just distracting.

Saeran will be able to choose the hair and clothes, too, although Saeyoung certainly has suggestions for that.

He colours Saeran's bottom lip carefully, thinking of the sea.

His eyes... are a lot like the ocean. When the ocean is in a particular mood, anyway.

His lips are just a _little_ different to Saeyoung’s, too... these... very kissable... lips...

...his own part slightly is a silent, tiny sigh.

He's having fun. Even as it aches…

**Saeran**

Getting some clothing on (though it's only underwear and a shirt again, under the frock) at least helps Saeran start reining things in.

If they stayed naked things were just going to keep getting out of hand.

Saying he felt absolutely at ease now would be a lie though.

There was an issue in pinpointing just why he was anxious was difficult too.

It could be the prospect of crossdressing. Seeing how he looked as a woman... in makeup... in a dress... understandably it would make anyone nervous.

Doubly so for Saeran.

Hopefully he won't see their Mother staring back in the mirror. She was a ghost better laid to rest.

Otherwise... it should be fine. Unlike certain members of the RFA, he didn't find crossdressing disgusting. Gender and how it was presented was never a big issue for him,

Perhaps it's because he had always been the more feminine one...

Sometimes Mother was disgusted at him over it. Looking back, Saeran suspects that's why he had been called weak. Much too emotional and sensitive for a boy.

Saeran wasn't a misogynist merely because he had two bad experiences. He knew of the women believers, and then Jaehee Kang and the party coordinator too.

Besides... when it came down to it, Saeyoung wouldn't want to make him to look like their Mother either.

And Saeyoung certainly looked completely different when he was dressed as a maid.

So he was just being silly. What else could there be to worry over?

Ah.

The date.

Obviously.

Would it go well? Is this really a good idea? Can makeup really disguise the fact they're twins?

So preoccupied with these concerns, Saeran becomes oblivious to Saeyoung's own agony while doing his make-up.

The sensation of a lip pencil pressed ever so gently against his lips...

Their proximity...

Is just as lost on him.

He's in a daze.

It takes him a long moment to register when Saeyoung is done, having pulled back to simply stare at Saeran's face. Enraptured.

While blinking back at his twin, Saeran catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

(Is that... me?)

Even without a wig, he looks like someone else.

Rather than a sullen boy, with too-pale skin and a narrow face, he sees...

A lovely lady.

Lips stained pink, cheeks gently flushed. A slight shimmer of gold around his eyes.

... and something about the contouring has softened his jaw. Now much less masculine.

Saeran is wordless.

How does he begin to describe how he feels...?

For the first time in his life, he doesn't feel like the dark lord. An evil villain.

He's a princess.

It's magic. A fairy has come and taken an ugly creature and transformed it into something beautiful.

But with that transformation, he's also become so much more.

He's now someone... who can dream, and laugh, and live happily ever after. Someone freed from the tower in which they've been locked in.

... perhaps he was never ugly at all... perhaps he had only been cursed.

Only his Prince had been able to see the truth, and undo that spell with true love's kiss.

…

Saeran flushes at the bent of his own thoughts.

How utterly sappy.

Best keep that much to himself rather than let Saeyoung know.

He's not sure he could survive the teasing.

"It's... it's nice."

His voice is cracking.

Quick! Change the topic!

"Um... let's... go look at the wigs, or the dresses, now?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung's wig collection is formidable. He knows them all by name. They quickly pick out a few in a couple different colours and styles that catch Saeran’s eye, leaving the final decision for which to go with once they have an outfit selected.

It’s then that Saeyoung opens the door to his walk-in crossdressing closet. "Saeran... let me take you to... the Wonderland..."

Unlike many of Saeyoung's other personal spaces, his clothing... library... is very neatly arranged. Not just by item type, but by colour. A little like walking into a rainbow.

To the uninitiated, it might be hard to know where to even start looking.

But to Saeyoung, it's as intuitive as breaking into a government server still using the default network authentication settings

Which is to say: easier than making an omelette.

Saeyoung already has some items in mind. All things that can be worn with flat closed shoes or sandals that will make waking on the beach as comfortable as possible.

All still, of course, cute.

With his usual slightly theatrical flair, he pulls out a few options for Saeran. All with the right amount of layering, comfort, and sturdiness for a beachside trip and a long car trip.

And, as already stated: cute.

Very cute.

"Anything here capture your heart?" he asks, with obvious pride over his collection.

**Saeran**

Saeran was expecting options that were more... well, costumey. Maybe a sailor style dress.

It turns out there's more class than expected.

A little overwhelmed by the choice and the idea of actually _wearing_ one of these, Saeran has a long moment of self-doubt.

Could he look good... in any of this?

Won't he just come across as clownish?

He knows how the RFA reacts when they see Saeyoung dresses up.

But... he's come this far, and Saeyoung is so proud and excited by the idea...

"You won't laugh if I just look weird, right?"

Not that Saeran expect Saeyoung to, not really. But the paranoia is there anyway, that this is some big joke and he's deluding himself.

Hovering a little, Saeran initially gravitates towards a simple, understated checkered dress before stopping himself.

That would be the easy option.

If he was going to be a princess...

Then...

He casts a considering glance at the other dresses, then points towards the first Saeyoung had selected. It's not as bright and false as some of the others, and seems a more appropriate feel for himself, as a woman.

**Saeyoung**

It’s a deep, rich purple and cream dress, complete with coordinated opaque stockings. A little girlish in the details, lace here and there, but with a mature overall cut in the shape and hang of it.

"Saeran, the only thing you have to worry about when you put these on is me ravishing you, I promise. This is my honest assessment as a cross-dressing connoisseur."

He taps his nose. "Don't forget, I've been professionally trained to blend in. I know what to look for. Laughter is not the effect you’re going to have, on me, or anyone who happens to see us."

He lifts the dress up, double-checking it for creases before laying it down again, to help Saeran out of the smock. "Any laughter I indulge in today is only going to be the good kind... I plan to give you lots to smile about, too."

**Saeran**

Saeran still feels a little awkward, like... (if you say so...!)

But he appreciates his brother trying to make him feel better.

Even if he has doubts how much of this clothing was necessary for infiltration work, versus just being his brother's hobby.

Speaking of which.

Just as Saeran begins to take his shirt off, he stops.

And looks at Saeyoung, very carefully.

"What are you going to wear?"

Not... just a hoodie and jeans, hopefully...

**Saeyoung**

Focused so intently on his brother, Saeyoung hadn't really moved on to think about himself so far.

He hasn't needed to dress up for anything remotely like a date in some time.

His party outfits are snappy, but a little overkill for the beach.

Probably a plain colour button-up shirt... If Saeran sticks with the purple, then... Hmmmm... maybe _that_ one...

**Saeran**

In the moments Saeyoung spends thinking, Saeran quickly slips into the dress. It's amazing how well it fits, though he feels maybe he should have a jacket or something to cover up his arms...

The zipper is hard to reach...

**Saeyoung**

Noticing Saeran's struggle with the zipper, Saeyoung steps behind his twin and gently zips it up, holding the dress taut at the waist to make it glide more easily.

Is it just because this is Saeran, or is slowly sliding up a zipper an inherently erotic thing?

(Back to thinkin 'bout those icebergs...)

"So... any preference on your hair? I think any of those three could work with this..."

**Saeran**

"Ah... thank you."

There _is_ something erotic about his zip being pulled up by Saeyoung.

Saeran does his best not to dwell on it, instead smoothing down the dress. His underwear sits a bit awkwardly under it, and then there's the stockings...

One thing at a time.

He can change into briefs and leave the stockings aside. No way does Saeran have the confidence to rock women's underwear like Saeyoung does just yet.

As for the wigs...

"The brown one."

**Saeyoung**

Brown, soft curls framing those sea-green eyes...

Saeyoung stands back, after gently securing the wig, and making sure it sat perfectly naturally over his brother's hair. Like all his wigs, the high-quality weave looked incredibly natural, and allowed a lot of breathing too - the sea breeze should also make wearing it quite comfortable.

He looks Saeran up and down and feels an ache in his chest seeing how well everything works together.

"You're beautiful...truly." he breathes, enchanted.

Then he gently rests a hand on the small of Saeran's back to guide him to  the full length mirror back by the door, to admire himself properly,  too.

**Saeran**

Not for the first time, Saeran wonders exactly who this person is looking back at him in the mirror.

Certainly, the only familiar feature is the eyes...

But the dress, the hair, the makeup...

It all looks so natural it's difficult to believe he's dressed up at all.

Saeyoung was right.

No one was going to suspect a thing.

Ironic that by faking who he was, he was being the most real he could be.

Maybe that's why Saeyoung was so into it...

Flicking his eyes to the dumbstruck reflection of his brother, Saeran smiles shyly.

Knowing he can have such an effect of his brother... feels pretty good.

No longer is he Saeyoung's brother, but his girlfriend.

Saeran knows that this was the easy part though. Dressing up like this doesn't mean he can _act_ like he's supposed to.

Swallowing back the urge to call to Saeyoung in his normal voice, Saeran instead clears his throat and focuses on both lightening and softening his pitch.

Then there was the language aspect...

It's a good thing he's experienced in catfishing people.

"Thank you... oppa."

The word fits right on his tongue.

Perhaps because it was a word meant for both an older brother, as well as being appropriate for an older male lover.

**Saeyoung**

"kkgh"

Oppa.

OPPA.

Saeyoung goes to grab the nearest nothing to steady himself with, which it turns out: not very good for steadying. So instead he takes two steps back and bangs into a stack of wigs, several of which fall to the floor.

Since when???

Since when had his brother been hiding this side???

(I-I mean)

He'd always had this beauty but... he made that sound so natural, just like a little sis-

(perv)

g-girlfriend!

(better)

(I-I mean... isn't he kind of both still, though?)

(Ugh... my head... my heart... I can't take this)

(HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE TODAY IN ONE PIECE)

Weirdly,  it actually does make his attitude towards Saeran change a little (sexist). He feels a little bad about all the inappropriate touches he keeps wanting to lay on his twin… this _fine lady._

"Hah....hahahahah.... y-you're... w-welcome...ja..."

(Come on. Summon your inner Zen. You said it once before.)

(BUT NOT LIKE THIS)

This whole time, throughout everything they've done, he's blushed, certainly.

But he's never quite gone this shade of fire engine red.

He can't do it.

He's too overwhelmed.

So he shuts his mouth and wipes at his forehead.

He tries again.

"You're always... beautiful... but when you call me like that, I..."

"...I'm glad you tried in private first so I have a little time to get used  to this, hahaha... my heart... is going a hundred  kilometres an hour...hahaha..."

**Saeran**

The reaction is so over the top that Saeran is left gaping, and then he just... laughs, with no small amount of evil glee.

Who would've thought his twin was so easy to unsteady!

"Ah...haha, what was that...!"

Wait, let's try it again. Back to the Princess voice.

"Oppa~?"

**Saeyoung**

A-AGAIN??

DOES HE WANT ME DEAD??

I THOUGHT WE GOT THROUGH THAT

(l-lol...)

Saeyoung manages to not stumble this time, although his face is still burning.

"Hyung" was powerful enough, but at least he'd been used to hearing it as a child...

it brought back warmth and love and nostalgia for their connection that has persisted ever since they were born, but...

‘Oppa’ is not something he... has considered he'd ever hear... especially not from his twin... hadn't even occurred to him...

(Pull yourself together... he's going to do this to you in public and you can't be tripping over yourself every time he does)

Apparently pulling himself together means covering his face with his hands.

"Okay..." he says, through his fingers. "Okay..."

"I'm tough... y-you can call me that... I'm not gonna lose to my little sis UH girlfriend..."

He drops his hands at Saeran's quiet snigger.

"I don't have a complex, y-you..." he protests weakly, at the unspoken taunt, clearly felt.

**Saeran**

"You're not fooling anyone." Saeran teases, a little more gently. It's just... so cute, to see his brother get all flustered and shaken up over such a small thing.

And Saeran can't deny he's thoroughly entertained by it either.

"Should I not pretend to be a girl after all?"

It's a reasonable enough question.

"Though I'm happy to have such an effect on you, I don't want your heart to give out... oppa."

Not that Saeran means to do anything about it. And really, Saeyoung should get used to the difference if they're going on a date.

If he had to though, he'd change back.

... plus a small thought can't help but whisper in the back of Saeran's mind...

"... does this mean you always wanted a little sister instead?"

It would explain why Saeyoung was so clearly overcome, and insistent about his beauty.

**Saeyoung**

"N-no!"

The sudden swing of the conversation, does, at least, sober Saeyoung up from his oppa-based fugue state.

Enough that he steps over the wigs at his feet to take Saeran's hands, holding them tightly.

"Saeran... no..." he says softly. "You're... always, always you."

"I've never even thought about having a sister, which... is part of why the sudden thought shocked me..."

"And besides." Fear of alienating Saeran gives him focus, keeps him from going under. He leans close to those brown curls. "What if, you heard, out of the blue, me call YOU-- he pauses, summoning his sweetest younger-sister voice... lowering the volume and crooning it throatily...

'Oppa~'

he pauses a second to let that sink in.

"-huh?"

He drops his brother's hand to take him by the waist possessively.

"Wouldn't you feel..." he says, tone changing just a little dangerously, his voice a little raw...

"Wouldn't you feel something strong too, Saeran...?"

He pulls his twin into his body, sliding his hands to his ass.

"Don't you think...?"

And after a second, he takes a deep breath, and lets him go, stepping back.

Somehow, being sassed has broken that embarrassed circuit.

"Let... oppa... take you to the beach today... okay...?"

He smiles lightly.

" I'll look after you..."

**Saeran**

"I..."

Where did his voice go?

"I..."

Lost somewhere in the second Saeyoung had let hang when he changed his voice so seductively, probably.

He had that coming.

Still, it was a little immature of Saeyoung to go that far.

"I... knew... I was actually the older one." Saeran manages finally. Weakly.

His knees still feel like jello.

It wasn't the word so much as how Saeyoung had used it which made it such an effective weapon.

Of course, he feels something strong. That was the beauty in how they provoked each other.

Getting to see this side of Saeyoung, and learning of this side of himself as well... along with all the issues and insecurities that arose with that...

It was a treasure.

There was no hiding the truth of that. No being modest.

Saeyoung seemed to know that too and wasted no words on letting Saeran know.

(I envy that...)

Simply loving with all his heart and expressing it easily...

Maybe Saeran can relearn it while being like this.

Maybe 'oppa' was a way of expressing as much too.

If that's the case, he'll have to use it as much as he can.

Regaining some composure, Saeran gifts his twin with an affectionate smile.

"I'll be waiting for you to escort me, so... go get ready already, oppa."

**Saeyoung**

Not 100% trusting himself, Saeyoung satisfies himself with a wink and a blown kiss.

"Then I'll go get ready for you, my pretty lover..."

He feels... _whoosh_ ~

Energised.

He'll put his best put forward, with his most gracious manners after this.

Well.

He'll try.

He's escorting such a pretty lady, after all.

**Saeran**

_...haa..._

Really...

For all dressing up had empowered him, Saeran still can't quite get used to the attention... and there's so many things he wants to say he doesn't even know where to start.

But Saeyoung's words pierce through his mind, body and heart with so little effort.

(...I want to hear it more...)

Later.

For now, the thought of them going to the beach together on a date is enough to satisfy his greed.

Slipping the shoes Saeyoung had suggested for him, Saeran goes to pack a bag of things they might need when going out.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung didn't exactly rush...

... he wants to be as close to perfection as possible...

... but he does do his own preparation as swiftly as possible.

Can't keep a lady waiting...

Can't make Saeran wait longer than necessary in general.

Haven't they waited long enough?

Picking out his own outfit requires less consideration, and he finds a nice balance between party-ready and casual...

Perfect for a beach date, if he did say so himself.

An forresty-olive button-down shirt... he likes that the stitching is cream, a subtle link...

Oh, and of course... he has those...

...he slips into a pair of light grey-brown, relatively slim fit pants, along the lines of this...

He likes the way they pull tight over his thighs and flatter his butt, while still having a relaxed look to them.

A pair of brown shoes and a belt... coordinated, of course...

A little of the aftershave he wears to the RFA parties...

Out of nowhere, his heart flutters again.

(We're really doing this... a date.)

He smiles broadly at his reflection in the mirror.

His hair...

Well, that touch of gel and slightly different part he wore to the parties, too... Rika always complime-

...

...

...

He sighs and slicks his hair the opposite way. Which -- still looks good.

Maybe another date, he'll do it the old way. But he doesn't... Want to feel a connection with her praise right now.

He wonders if he'll get a chance to sneakily buy flowers for Saeran on the way.

He'll see what comes up...

Enough.

He's ready.

He walks out to collect his date..

**Saeran**

Rather than raid the rest of Saeyoung's closet, Saeran opted to find his old leather jacket instead. While there was no doubt other pieces of clothing matched his current look better...

It was starting to get dissociative.

He needed to take a piece of the old him along too.

Saeyoung might have said that he was always himself, but...

Sometimes it was more complicated than that.

Saeran wasn't just born anew into a Princess. A lover.

He was still Saeyoung's brother, and still carried scars.

If he truly wanted to date Saeyoung, there was no leaving that behind. He didn't intend to cosplay to escape after all, but rather to use it as a shield against their reality.

Besides, it's not half bad. It's A Look. A striking dichotomy of soft and edgy.

That was basically Saeran's life in a nutshell.

Embracing those aspects having boosted his confidence, Saeran turns to Saeyoung and immediately gives his twin an appreciative smile.

A big feat.

(Somehow, he became even more handsome...)

Voice it. Say it, Saeran. It's okay. You did so before, didn't you?

Just because it's a date is no reason to feel so shy...

"Woah..." He begins eloquently, then laughs helplessly, "My heart just skipped a beat. You're really... Giving me your best, aren't you? Thank you..."

**Saeyoung**

It's kind of amazing, how much your life can change in a day.

How much a relationship can change in a day.

That's how people are... well, people who live their lives without breaking off that little part of themselves, that turns them read-only...

...moving through the world without being changed by it.

Of course, it's important that some small core of self never changes... some piece of identity you can hold onto, as the rest of you flows, responds, grows, reaches out...

It's this, isn't it.

They share some small kernel of self, that will never falter.

So much changed around them - changed them.

But in a breath, they too can make decisions that send them into a totally different direction...

...core intact.

All this passes through Saeyoung's mind in a heartbeat, as he sees Saeran, a mixture of old and new, feminine and masculine, mask and truth, brother and soulmate.

Despite everything, they continue to grow.

The compliment almost passes through him - he's been so hungry for praise from his brother for so long, and even now he wants more, more, but in this moment, rather than dwelling on it, clinging to it like a hand reaching out as he flounders in the dark.

Instead, he reaches out.

"Saeran." Brushes a small bit of hair away from his twin's face.

"Thank you..."

Offers out his hand.

"Let's go out, Saeran."

 


	5. The search for a symbol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The idea shouldn't surprise Saeran as much as it does, but he has to admit - the thought of Saeyoung permanently etching a mark into his body just to match with him... drives Saeran a little wild._
> 
> The twins go shopping for gifts for each other as part of their date.

**Saeyoung**

Funny how when things are ‘a date’ what would have been ‘he and Saeran walk to the car’ becomes something else.

But that's the wonderful thing about calling something a date, isn't it?

Everything has a dash of glamour. A sparkle.

Additional layers of meaning.

(I've been... all over the place today...)

(But... I really want to get this right.)

(I want Saeran to know... I'm serious...)

(It's not... just about sex... or whatever it was Saeran had joked about. Bros with benefits...? H-hah…)

It must be a lot for his twin to handle right now: cross-dressing for the first time, going on a date... being this close with Saeyoung after so many jumps and starts and bumps and obstacles.

He'd been a little selfish, still, maybe, with the way he poured his love onto Saeran. Like his strategy was to just open his mouth... say everything he was feeling... hoping some of it would get through the cracks.

(But... he said he forgave me... and... I forgave myself.)

(We can really start something real, from that...)

(And he smiled at me... so that's a good start to the date, too.)

He looks to Saeran. "Is it okay with you if I drive...?"

It is, apparently, okay.

So after Saeran settles into the passenger seat, Seven gets behind the wheel.

Something about putting on the clothes, doing his hair, getting behind the wheel – now it truly feels like the date has started. He breaths in. He can do this.

P-probably...

(It’s fine. Just relax.) So he thinks about how well he’s dressed, and channels that small confidence into his voice.

"Now..." he ponders. "What do we still need to buy?" He glances back at the things they have in the back seat of the car.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Saeran staring not at the supplies, but at Saeyoung’s profile...

(...heart... fluttering...)

Oh, right. "Feel free to queue up any music you want to hear while we drive," he says. "Anything is fine with me~"

He turns his head and body back towards Saeran, resting the one elbow on the back of his seat.

He _also_ turns on one of his charming party smiles - not fake, but most certainly calculated to dazzle. "But I'm also happy to just talk to you..."

**Saeran**

Eyes glued to Saeyoung's face, Saeran finds he can't look away. Going out of their way to treat each other specially... makes everything glow.

Particularly his twin's smile. So perfect and unreal, he just wants to...

Saeran reaches out, tracing the curve of it with his thumb.

No wonder he had been feeling so awkward. Saeran isn't used to existing in a world where grasping happiness is such an easy thing to do.

But here Saeyoung is, in front of him, vivid and beautiful with every expression.

Saeran wants to see more.

Controlling his emotions is getting harder.

(If I'm not careful...

I'll really get obsessed.)

That wouldn't do, when they're both looking forward to expanding their world. If he gave in then there'd be so much they'd both miss out on.

And Saeran doesn't want to miss a thing.

Dropping his hand to Saeyoung's thigh, Saeran gives that a squeeze instead. A very, very intimate gesture, and entirely on purpose.

But at least it's better than distracting his brother by touching his face.

Ah... really, to think this is his first date...

Saeran is really really really _really_ happy.

What can he even do with all this happiness? He needs to keep touching Saeyoung, just to feel that it's real. Need to hear his words, and be comforted.

To the point that Saeyoung's question is out of the question.

"I'm glad we can talk like this. If it's too much for you though..."

Saeyoung is the one who tends to carry most of a conversation after all.

It would only be fair to give him an out.

But.

"Actually, never mind. I don't want you to change your mind."

Even if Saeyoung chose to tease him the entire way, Saeran wouldn't care. His brother's free to wreck him as he sees fit...

At this point, there's no more time to delay. He feels himself getting impatient.

"What are you waiting for? I've packed everything we need."

Oh. Maybe that's an issue?

Best to go over it, just in case.

"Some water, towels, a blanket, sun screen, hats, extra chargers, first aid kit, snacks... that's it, right?"

Saeyoung can count on him. Saeran is determined to give his best too.

If he missed anything, he's sure they can go shop for it too.

Like... extra sets in clothes, in case... something happens.

A thrill goes up Saeran's spine and his cheeks colour a bit at the thought.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran's touch to his face.

(Ah~ You... really are the only one for me...)

It's... good they're getting out of the house. Saeyoung's heart is already growing so many sizes. He doesn't want to take out a wall.

...as usual, he can't help mixing the surreal into his thoughts.

And then Saeran’s hand moves down to his thigh…

 (I’m glad…)

He doesn’t want to completely separate, either.

Even if it was just a single finger, he’d be happy. The smallest surface area of Saeran’s pinkie, just lightly resting by his leg… even that would be enough.

He doesn’t want Saeran to need to do anything today other than just enjoy the world… and feel loved, without fear.

The slight colour in Saeran’s cheeks after he reels off the list of supplies is somewhat hidden by the light foundation makeup on his face. It’s not heavy, but the blush was a small, secret one, anyway.

Instead, Saeyoung recognises it in his eyes. Some small anticipation, some unasked question.

Whatever it is his twin is thinking, Saeyoung hopes he can give a good answer.

 “That sounds like everything we need for the beach,” he replies, still smiling, eyes indulging themselves in Saeran’s. The little flecks of   deeper colour… that little hint of a question…

 “I’d… still like to buy you a gift, though... if you don’t mind it delaying our arrival at the shore a little longer.”

**Saeran**

The strength of Saeyoung's stare is powerful. Almost enough for Saeran to want to blindfold him, to allow him to simply indulge in his brother without the weight of that attention.

Without the reflection of himself in those eyes.

Not that the love is unwanted!

It just makes Saeran that little more self-conscious and fumbling sometimes, when he'd like to be confident and take charge.

And to have Saeyoung trust him enough to be blindfolded too...

Ah, his thoughts are getting away from him.

Despite his eagerness to get to the sea, it's not as if they were truly in a rush. That was just his avarice. Saeran had expected they'd stop to look at shops at some point, if only for lunch.

And like Saeyoung, he wanted to keep an eye out for a gift. A memento.

"Sure. I was just thinking... it would be great if they each had something to remember our first date by."

Which is true, in more ways than one.

Not that Saeran could ever forget.

**Saeyoung**

He's getting that hint of thoughts behind Saeran's eyes again...

...whatever they are...

...he feels a tingle from the hand on his thigh that sends no words, but a few distinct... feelings... through.

(How can those eyes just fill my thoughts so easily...)

But.

Time to drive

He looks back to the wheel and shifts in his seat cautiously… like Saeran’s hand is an animal, that might scamper away if startled.

As he presses his leg down, guiding the car out of the garage, he feels a small thrill at the way the movement makes his leg muscles tense under Saeran’s fingers… a little proud. He wonders if Saeran notices.

(I mean… he’s seen me naked… he knows I’m toned there…)

But still… 

  …a little pride.  

 It won’t take too long to arrive at the store Saeyoung has in mind… maybe twenty minutes.

**Saeran**

Not once does Saeran's hand move during their ride. The heat of Saeyoung's thigh under his palm is somehow reassuring, and feeling it flex has its own fascination.

Being able to sit back without a care in the world, lover by his side...

To let himself be treated this way, not because he was a cause for concern, but out of appreciation...

Coupled with this casual yet constant intimacy...

The fresh air and speed...

It feels freeing.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung parks the car like he’s sliding a sword back into its sheath.

 (That sounds a little sexual…) he muses to himself, his brain as always bubbling over with commentary on everything around him.

(H…huh.) 

Now that his mind goes there… should he have been…

...thinking… about that… earlier?

(I mean…) Obviously he’d been thinking about it. But.

What if… something happens while we’re out?

What if they…? Kissed, and then… touched more, and then they…

He’s still fantasising about carrying Saeran through their doorway once  they get home (sure are a lot of wedding images going through your head  for a first date, buddy) but… 

…as the person initiating this date… shouldn’t he be prepared, just in case?

H-huh.

He… can probably sort that out here too. Although certainly not at the same store. But…

…first.

He steps out of the car and goes to open the door for Saeran.

(I’m the initiator…)

(So I’m going to sweep you off your feet… my one and only…)

Saeran seems only a little surprised at the gesture - and then Saeyoung offers him his hand,

gratified when his brother takes it without any sign of hesitation.

Hand-in-hand, he leads Saeran to what can only be described as a large Department store, the kind that makes a big deal about Brands and New Arrivals. The thing he likes about it is that they have a very nice  selection of accessories, from bags to  necklaces… including  several  brands that would suit his brother in his somewhat edgier  look as well as… looking like a pretty thorn on his neck in this  softer style he’s currently wearing.

The leather jacket Saeran had added to the outfit was a good idea. It really does make the look Saeran’s, and not just something abstract overlaid across his body.

Saeyoung wants his gift to be like that, too.

Something that really… matches with his brother.

 Not just a decoration.

A reflection of who he is.

“There’s a few places we could look, but at the very least, I think you’ll find some inspiration in this section for something you might  enjoy…” he says, guiding Saeran to the relevant  displays, still hand in hand.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung really is being the perfect gentleman.

Saeran shouldn't be surprised, but he is a little anyway. After all, he's so used to seeing his brother act out and be presumptuous.  Neither were always bad, but...

Seeing him behave, and behave _well_ , is a treat.

He takes Saeyoung's hand gladly.

Ah, is it just him, or are people already looking their way...?

Even as the more muted of Saeyoung's cars, it was still eye catching. And Saeran is very aware of how flashy he must look.

How handsome Saeyoung _does_ look.

Plus, it's a department store... one of the more expensive kinds.

Saeran grips Saeyoung's hand a little more tightly.

He's not afraid. Or even jealous. (For now.)

It would just be very easy to get lost in this whole new experience, and Saeyoung is a lifeline.

Shown a display that Saeyoung thinks is his taste, Saeran considers it. While their designs were punkish, overall it might be too feminine.

Saeran might be Saeyoung's girlfriend right now, but if this is a gift for him to wear, it'd be better to find stuff a bit more neutral.

... but he does have to admit, the idea of wearing a choker again isn't bad. He had enjoyed the feeling of one across his throat, and going without it has made it feel somewhat empty.

And a floral pattern... could work for him, if not overdone.

Making a thoughtful noise, Saeran squeezes Saeyoung's hand again.

"Let's have a look and see if there's more displays like these."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung nods. He hasn't been here for a while, but he's still very familiar with both the male and female sections of the store.

"Maybe we could look for a band you like the most... we could buy a pendant separately. Really make it unique." He pauses, his next suggestion appealing to him rather more than he lets on in his voice.

"Maybe we could... match...?" There's that pink coming back to his cheeks, with no foundation to hide it. "I mean... we could both buy the same pendant maybe, or the same type of metal... it might be nice..."

**Saeran**

That is...

An exceptionally good idea.

Now joined again, Saeran has more and more tried to match his brother as a gesture of acceptance... so it'd mean something for them both to have a new part of them to celebrate that union.

It solves Saeran's problem of trying to find a gift for Saeyoung too.

The flush on Saeyoung's cheeks also gives Saeran ideas, and the thought of Saeyoung in a choker is...

Lewd.

An outright collar is not what they're looking for.

Still, Saeran can't hide how his lips curve into a licentious smile. Delighted by all of it, Saeran nods eagerly in return.

"Ah, if you wanted to try a necklace too, there's nothing wrong with that."

**Saeyoung**

“Hmmmm… that would be nice… I also thought of a way I could wear it all the time…” Saeyoung touches his free hand to his ear absently. “Maybe I could get a piercing? It’d limit the size of the charm, I guess, but then I’d never have to take it off…”

"It'd be nice to just... always have it with me..." he muses, staring at a large poster advertising the latest fragrance from SHAMEL.

He glances across at Saeran, a little uncertainly. “Do… do you think that could work? Me? With a piercing?”

**Saeran**

... Saeran's starting to realize his brother is just as much of a romantic as he is.

And to wear it all the time...

Oh...

It makes Saeran's stomach flip.

As for whether a piercing could work: "Yes. Absolutely."

He isn't just saying that either.

Saeran had dabbled in some jewellery for fun, when going through his punk stages. He tried clip-on earrings (loathe to scar himself more than he had already) and found they looked pretty good, though sometimes pointless with his mess of hair.

Plus, Saeyoung already had... a look.

Even dressed casually, the clothing he wore was loud and attention grabbing. A certain punk style of his own, if not a bit more eccentric and nerdy.

Taking all that into consideration...

"If you're unsure, there's clip-ons. But if you wear them, keep your hair like this."

**Saeyoung**

"Like this...?"

Saeyoung moves his hand from his ear to his hair, thinking.

It's not like it takes that long to style this way... rather than just letting it... do its thing.

And Saeran seems to like it...

"Yeah... I could do that..." He squeezes Saeran's hand. "Now I'm motivated, haha. I might need to go into a pharmacy anyway before we head out, maybe I could even do it..."

The pink in his cheeks deepens, remembering _why_ it is he wants to stop by a pharmacy.

He lets the air conditioning in the store restore his face to something normal. "Although I'd have to wear something plain initially, until the ear settled down... but... I think I'd like that."

He looks ahead, realising they've toured most of the good potential brands here.

"Maybe we should go to the jeweller over the other side - choose the pendant first, then what you want to hang it from."

Given that will be the defining part... it seems like a good plan.

**Saeran**

Does he really mean to get it done permanently?

The idea shouldn't surprise Saeran as much as it does, but he has to admit - the thought of Saeyoung permanently etching a mark into his body just to match with him... drives Saeran a little wild.

(This is payback, isn't it...?)

Still, Saeran is now a lady.

Getting a boner in a dress would be... bad.

So he satisfies himself with raising Saeyoung's hand to his mouth and kissing the knuckles in affirmation.

"Okay."

**Saeyoung**

Buoyed by the little show of public affection from his twin, Saeyoung giddily leads them in the direction of their next destination...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will probably post a couple more chapters tomorrow! Thanks for your support of our love of these two!


	6. At my heart, rhodochrosite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _...Saeyoung's eyes fall on the rings again. He can't help it. They're kind of... half of the entire store._
> 
> It can be dangerous taking your lover to a jewellery store.

The jewellery store is another upmarket one - Saeyoung wants whatever they choose to last...

(... the rest of our lives...) he thinks, just as his eyes fall on the rings in the window.

(Settle. The heck. Down.) He admonishes himself.

"Sir, madam, welcome!" The shop assistant says, brightly.

Saeyoung gives her a polite smile, not noticing the slight widening of her eyes as she takes in his lazier level of default charm.

He really has no idea. He's only thinking about that hand in his, and their mission.

The shop assistant looks between them both, clearly glancing at their hands. "Could I... interest you two in some of our latest ring designs? We've only just got a beautiful set in from our supplier in -"

"A-ah." Saeyoung interrupts. Is Saeran's hand sweatier than it was a second ago? "Today, we were hoping to look at some charms and pendants, if you could point us in the right direction...?"

**Saeran**

For a second Saeran's heart might have seized. Did they really look like they'd be getting... m... ma....

Unlike Saeran and to the assistant's credit, she recovers fast. "Of course. A gift for the lucky lady...?"

Saeran nods, suddenly shy.

"Mn." Is about the only level of noise he can make, and even through the foundation is his blush bright enough to colour his cheeks.

Smiling indulgently at them, the clerk ushers them towards the pendants. "You two make such a cute couple. Let me know if you need me." At the very least, she seemed to understand that hanging around would be intruding on their time as a couple too.

It makes Saeran feel somewhat vindicated. He saw the look she had given his brother... his _lover_...

He focuses his attention on the charms.

**Saeyoung**

Joining his brother in staring intently at the charms, Saeyoung still doesn't really _see_ them for a few seconds.

"She thought we looked like we were getting engaged, huh..." he mutters to himself, grateful he was able to keep the blush off his cheeks this time. Speaking his thoughts aloud is a habit he still falls back into at times, having spent so many years mostly alone.

The realisation that he verbalised the thought only hits due to the sudden increased grip Saeran has on his hand, causing Saeyoung to glance over at him. His twin's eyes are staring fixedly at the charms in front of him. Very much avoiding looking in his direction.

Saeyoung has been behaving so well.

_So_ well.

He can feel mischievousness bubbling up from the well deep inside of him, that deep well of playfulness that's always there... a part of him, no matter what.

But he only allows himself the smallest of teases. "How lovely..."

Besides... he can just pretend he was talking about the charms. Or his brother.

Who certainly is lovely.

Not wanting to rub it in too much, Saeyoung picks up something at random to examine it closer, to ease the tension. "See anything you like?"

**Saeran**

How could he pay any attention to the pendants after all that? Saeran can't bring himself to look at anything at all, especially not Saeyoung.

He might die. His heart is already overworked as it is. So he closes his eyes for a long moment. Takes a breath.

Aaaahhh.

Usually when overstimulated, daresay anxious like this, he'd force himself to move his body... but where would he move to in this situation?

Saeyoung has his hand in a firm grip. And besides, Saeran... really doesn't want to let go.

... maybe he doesn't have to.

It's a very couple-y thing to do, but as it is, that's what they _are_.

So Saeran swings their hands, letting the momentum carry his cares away.

He opens his eyes, and they the first thing they fall on is a ying-yang pendant... It's a bit too tongue in cheek. There's the other obvious couple pendants too, suddenly all glaring obvious to Saeran's eye. And incredibly tacky, to his mind. And not something he could wear regularly without explanation.

He looks to the gemstones. Those at least were less obvious. And... apparently, they could each have own unique meanings too? Intrigued, Saeran gestures towards them.

**Saeyoung**

"Oh, that's a nice idea..."

The gemstones are all laid out beautifully, a variety of cuts and colours on display. Beneath them, a beautifully bound photo album with the logo of the jeweller on the cover. Saeyoung flips a few pages.

The first half of the book is filled with photos of the different gems they have in stock, along with their meanings. Of course, several are highlighted with "perfect for an engagement ring!" but Saeyoung doesn't comment on this, feeling his brother has already been flustered enough.

"Ah..."

A few catch his eye... particularly the meanings...

"I kind of like these... what do you think?"

**Saeran**

Saeran leans against Saeyoung to get a better look at the book, and finds himself getting comfortable.

... maybe... if he just...

He leans his face against Saeyoung's shoulder hesitantly. Playing it off as not a big deal.

Right.

The stones.

Some of the meanings really are appropriate... and apparently, even were considered magical. Healing. Saeran is more and more convinced it's worth studying up on further, and definitely worth buying as a gift.

One particular precious stone strikes a chord.

"'Rhodochrosite'..."

The red would match them both, with their hair, and... symbolically the meaning just seemed to fit. Healing a painful childhood, reclaiming the past, nurturing, and love...

There were others that were good contenders, but this one just seemed to fit.

**Saeyoung**

"Mm!" Saeyoung nods, the meaning behind his twin’s choice clear. It’s a good pick.

The staff member who greeted them earlier manages to slip back into the conversation seamlessly without being overbearing. "Oh, if you're thinking of doing something with one of our stones, do take a look at the rest of that book - there's a lot of designs we could set them in for you! Or, we can always do something completely bespoke..."

Saeyoung nods. "Thanks. We'll look through them. How long does it take to do something like that, though?"

The shop assistant has clearly repeated this information many times, although she delivers it naturally. "It will depend on whether we have the stone in stock, as well as the setting - some we could do for you today, others might be a few weeks. In some cases longer, but only for less common requests. A custom piece, once we've agreed on the design, can generally be turned around in under a month, depending on the availability of the materials.” She bows her head slightly. “I'll be around if you want to check anything in particular."

And then, she's gone. Stores like this really do hit that perfect balance of assistance and time to think.

Saeran has managed to retain his closeness despite the interruption - although it almost feels like he squeezed even closer during Saeyoung's conversation with the assistant.

For a moment, Saeyoung pauses to just enjoy the feeling of having his twin -lean against him so naturally like this... it feels warm... he allows himself, for a moment, to touch Saeran's cheek, briefly, before returning his hand to the page.

"I think I'd like mine to be a star..." he murmurs, turning the pages for them both.

**Saeran**

It's a lot of information at once, and Saeran isn't exactly happy with the intrusion nonetheless. Still, the way Saeyoung ends up caressing his cheek is gratifying.

Saeran looks down at the pages. Nothing quite catches his eye, and he while he likes stars it's more of Saeyoung's aesthetic than it is his.

"It'll suit you." He mutters back to his twin, tone surprisingly throaty even to him.

... being out together as a couple is really getting to him. Being _treated_ as a couple even moreso.

It makes Saeran's heart leap into his throat, and no matter how much he swallows it seems lodged there.

"It... would be nice to get something done today."

He doesn't even realize he's said that aloud at first. But it's true.

The gift is meant to be a commemoration after all.

That meant going with a simpler design... though Saeran was thinking as much anyway. Anything too big or heavy would seem mismatched with a choker.

Saeyoung pauses on a page, a pendant catching his eye.

(... is this fate...?)

A flower pendant, but not too feminine that he couldn't pull it off even dressed as he usually is... and a lotus at that... though it had been a long time since he maintained a garden, he could recall it instantly.

Enlightenment. Perseverance. Purity.

It's a very spiritual flower, essentially symbolizing one's own rise above darkness.

Setting a custom stone into it shouldn't take long either.

He's decided.

"That one."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung isn't as well-versed in flower meanings as his younger twin, but he can hear the certainty in Saeran's voice.

Plus. It suits him. Saeyoung can already picture it working with the things Saeran normally wears... along with a nice dress.

His own choice isn't difficult at all - stars are, after all, a popular shape, second only to hearts - or so he imagines.

Plus, this design... it's two solid stars, slightly overlapping, with the one in front having a space for a gem, too.

Simple, and full of meaning.

[Couldn't find a photo that exactly matched but this is pretty close to my HC for the earring!]

And that means they can match...

"Okay. This is perfect, too. Let's find out how long it'll take."

...

"I thought you two looked like the luckiest couple in the world when you walked in!" replies the assistant, after checking with the jeweller in the back rooms.

"We can do that for you right away, if you'd like."

Saeyoung squeezes his twin's hand. "That's great! And I agree - I am lucky."

The wait is so short they don't even bother leaving the store, milling around instead looking around at everything else on offer with curiosity.

...Saeyoung's eyes fall on the rings again. He can't help it. They're kind of... half of the entire store.

Can't hurt to look, anyway. Most of them don't really appeal - too flashy, and not in a 707 kinda way, just a... bougie way... but he leans in to check out a few of the more interesting, slightly less sparkly options.

It shouldn't be long now.

**Saeran**

It's difficult not to catch where Saeyoung is looking.

Saeran feels his face burn.

Marriage... wasn't possible for them anyway, yet he can't help but entertain the thought as well.

Though this was only their first date.

"Oppa... you're getting ahead of yourself a little." He chides, knowing fully well that the endearment will get a reaction too.

What can Saeran say, he wants to see how Saeyoung reacts with getting caught.

**Saeyoung**

“...ah...”

It's good that Saeyoung had practice listening to Saeran roll that word out earlier.

Doesn't stop it from making his heart pound.

That and the fact that his twin was onto his idle daydreaming.

He... he knows they could never... officially... he just...

Outwardly, he freezes a couple seconds, though he manages not to draw attention. He doesn't want anyone to see the embarrassed look passing over his face right now. Only Saeran can feel the effect he's having on his older twin.

"Hah...hahaha..." Saeyoung manages, "y-you'll fall for my charms one day, jagiya..." And guides Saeran over to the opposite side of the store to look fixedly at a tiny detailed silver statue of an iguana.

**Saeran**

... 'jagiya'...

Going by definition, using it as a pet name for his twin wasn't out of line. But Saeran feels his cheeks burn anyway. That was well-played.

Entertaining as is was to tease Saeyoung about the fixation, the way he froze up and flustered makes Saeran feel wistful. While the iguana statue is plenty fascinating to look at, it doesn't keep such thoughts from Saeran's mind.

... is it really impossible?

Would he even want to?

It did feel more meaningful to not hold each other to an oath, and instead take each day together as it came.

Nonetheless, there was an allure. And if Saeyoung really wanted to...

"We could... always elope. Change our names, and identities, and leave everything else behind... go somewhere where hiding isn't necessary..." Saeran can't help but suggest in a whisper.

**Saeyoung**

He didn't expect Saeran to feel so strongly, or react quite like this.

Saeyoung turns, and strokes one of Saeran's flushed cheeks. His other hand releases its grip on Saeran’s briefly so he can instead touch his brother’s waist, lightly, through the dress.

Nothing that's going to draw too much attention, but he... he wants...

(I want to protect you... I wish you didn't have to worry about any of this...)

"We could..." he replies, softly. "Like you say, though... I was getting a little ahead of myself."

He strokes Saeran's cheek with his thumb.

"Let's go at our own pace. We don't have to meet any of society's self-imposed deadlines or expectations. We'll find out own way forwards... I promise..."

Those eyes...

...he holds their gaze a few seconds longer.

(God...)

...he wants to pull Saeran into an embrace so badly.

Movement to his right alerts him to the return of the sales assistant.

Their items are ready.

**Saeran**

Saeran already knew his suggestion was a wash anyway. Unless he pressed it, manipulated his brother's heart, there was no running away.

To make up for the disappointment is the way his brother's eyes gaze into his own, and Saeran feels the pull between them... a taut rope...

A polite cough, and the bond immediately goes slack.The sales assistance looks apologetic enough, at least, but Saeran can't help but sulk a little at the interruption.

At least they get what they came for and leave already. He turns to his brother once they leave the store.

"Did you want to go to the pharmacy now?" It would be a good idea to get the piercings done sooner rather than later.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung takes Saeran's hand again. "Follow me."

He wonders if there's anywhere he can steal a kiss on the way. Sadly, no opportunity arises. (Patience...)

The pharmacy handles requests like this daily, so much so that the woman doing the piercing stifles a yawn as she pulls out the necessary tool from under the counter.

Not even a guy getting his ear pierced is that big a deal anymore. A little alternative, but, certainly not that strange these days.

It's over in a blink of an eye. Saeyoung barely even feels it.

The pharmacy staff member gives him the spiel: "Apply this tonight, and tomorrow morning, keep it up for two weeks. If it swells longer than a day, see a GP."

"Sure. Thanks."

"Did you want to pick up anything else while you were here?"

...he does. Just in case… just in case they need it.

"Y-yeah... I'll... just go grab a couple things."

Is it better to just go for it, or maybe... buy a couple things along with it so it's not just... the one... very... noticeable item.

Saeran had been hovering nearby but immediately re-joins Saeyoung as his brother moves to the shelves.

He shouldn't feel embarrassed, after what they've been through already.

But.

It's not very romantic, is it. Buying… that… in front of your date.

"Let's divide this up. Could you... uh... get me... some post-sun aloe gel? I know we both burn easy, so..."

Saeran's still going to see it when he pays, but at least it's not as gauche as leading his date over to the shelf...

**Saeran**

In this instance, Saeran is oblivious. Much more concerned by the redness of the piercing in Saeyoung's ear.

It... it'll be okay, right...?

So preoccupied by it, he doesn't question Saeyoung's request. Just nodding before going off to grab the item in question.

**Saeyoung**

Barely noticing the light ache of his ear - far too focused on his other mission - Saeyoung says a silent thank-you to whatever cupid, ghost or god might be listening, and makes his way to the relevant shelves fast.

The selection isn't great compared to a specialist store - but he recognises a brand he knows, and grabs the largest bottle, which on reflection might give off an even more awkward impression than just a small one _but he's rushing to pick it up before Saeran finds him again and oh god what if the lady behind the counter gives him a look god why didn't he pick the small bottle maybe if he holds it like this it won't be really obvious until he gets to the counter and -_

Oh. There's Saeran.

Fortunately, he's still looking at Saeyoung's ear and not at his hands

The bored, sleepy expression of the lady at the counter doesn't change at all as Saeran places his item on the counter, or when Saeyoung adds his own.

"That all?"

"Yeah... just these."

**Saeran**

It really must be Saeyoung's lucky day, since the clerk bags the items with practiced ease and Saeran is utterly uninterested in that.

Instead, he's reaching for Saeyoung's hand again.

... already he can't go without touching his twin for too long...

Once Saeyoung pays for the goods, looking strangely relieved when he does, the two of them step out of the shop.

They really should get going back to the beach, but...

There's still one last thing before getting back on the road.

"Shall we go back to the necklaces? I have a better idea of what to pick."

There had been a few he could modify at the very least, to match his taste and the pendant that's been purchased.

**Saeyoung**

Cat god... cupid spirit... packing poltergeist... whoever Seven has to thank, he thanks them deeply.

So instead of worry or embarrassment... instead, he feels that familiar intoxicating song that starts to play in his heart as he feels his twin slip his fingers back into his own

"Sure. Let's go... beautiful."

His success has made him confident again, and the slight sting in his ear is nothing compared to how proudly he walks with Saeran at his side.

**Saeran**

The cheerfulness is contagious. Saeran thinks he's smiling a lot more than he has in... a very long time, today.

Making their way back to the necklaces, he eventually finds one that feels… right. “What do you think of this one?”

It’s reminiscent of a more elegant style he had, back when he was first exercising his limited freedom under the Sav -- Rika. That sort of fashion had been more to his taste, though inspired by the darkness within him.

It is most definitely a symbolic choice, a reclamation, to choose a choker that reminds him of that.

Saeran likes things that way. The power of fashion, and what one dresses themselves in, can't be underestimated.

There is an issue with it, though. All those chains… it might be too detailed, and adding a pendant to those might really be going overboard.

"Or something like it…"

**Saeyoung**

"Maybe we could remove one or two of the metal strands?"

**Saeran**

"We'd need to wait to do it though... I couldn’t wear it today."

If Saeyoung is fine with that, Saeran will live.

**Saeyoung**

...but he wants to see Saeran wearing it today...

Saeyoung stares at it a moment.

It looks fine with what Saeran's wearing now. So...

"I think you could wear it like that today..." he offers, "It works with your outfit just fine and... I..."

He leans closer.

"I... really want to put it around your neck..."

He maybe should have thought about it a little more before saying it in such an...

... earnest tone.

So close to Saeran's ear.

But...

... he means it.

He wants...

...that confirmation.

That additional shared symbol.

**Saeran**

There's a seductive quality to Saeyoung's voice that makes Saeran stand straighter and nod without thinking.

How could he refuse when he brother talks like that?

"Ah... Mm. Then let's get it."


	7. What I love about the ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung and Saeran take turns guessing at what the other will love the most about the beach, though both suspect that after today, what they'll love most about it will become the same.

**Saeyoung**

Is this what love is like for everyone? Because it's a RIDE. Saeyoung feels like he's floating.

He can't help but keep stealing glances at Saeran as they purchase the necklace.

At his neck, particularly. (Why...  how did I get so hopelessly lost like this? I don’t want to look at anything but him.)

(Also why... can't I just...)

(...)

The things he's thinking right now are not appropriate for public actioning.

But...

He just...

... he's hooked.

There's nothing in the world to compare to this feeling, walking hand in hand, having made it through an entire set of challenges in public... and they're fine.

They're really fine.

They're doing this.

And he's marked himself as Saeran's... something he can wear always... even in front of the RFA.

And Saeran...

They get to the car.

"Could I... do you want to wear it now?"

**Saeran**

He does.

He really, truly does.

The way Saeyoung kept looking at him only reinforced that need.

But...

It would defeat the point.

Saeran's conflicted. He fidgets slightly. He hasn't... even accepted his brother's confession yet, even...

Even if it was essentially a done deal and they both knew it.

So then why shouldn't he--?

Ah, but... it would be so meaningful to wait...

Saeran sighs. He knows what he must do.

"Let's get to the beach first."

**Saeyoung**

Oh.

He got carried away again, huh.

Of course.

"Of course... right. You're right." It's so hard to put the brakes on but Saeran is right. There are ways these things are done. And Saeyoung doesn't want to leave anything out.

So instead, he kisses Saeran's forehead. And opens the car door for him, again.

"The waves await us."

...

The traffic out from the city thins more quickly than Saeyoung expects, so they make good time to the long road that will take them almost the rest of the way to the shoreline.

"Hey... Saeran..."

"Can you guess what my favorite thing about the ocean is?"

**Saeran**

"Hmmm..."

It's a tough question without having seen it before, but Saeran is willing to make the attempt. He knows what he will probably like about it:

The wide horizon, the sand under his feet, beautiful shells to collect... ah, and people always talk about the smell.

But knowing his brother, it might be worth thinking outside the box.

"...how deep it is?"

The ocean is full of mystery after all, and he can imagine Saeyoung having fun wanting to discover it all.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung gives his twin an appreciative glance. "Oh. Interesting~ I like it."

"The depth...there's a lot of things to like about that. One nice thing is, you can't hear much other than the sounds of the shellfish... that's something I learned, once. Depending on where you swim."

"You can hear your breathing, and the movement of water... and in the right places... just lots of little popping noises. Tiny. Like popcorn, but. If it was in a dollhouse. Just all these different shells... breathing."

He grins. "Sounds a bit creepy when I say it like that."

"But... it's nice. Sometimes maybe a little oppressive. But I liked it. Even though I only heard it on missions... I liked that sound. Me, breathing. All the life in the ocean, breathing. Our breaths were different. But still... it was nice."

"There's a lot you can find... in a place like that. A whole world separate to ours."

He pauses to negotiate a tight bend in the road.

"I was curious about what you'd say. What you'd think I'd like. I'm happy... you thought about me like that."

He leans back into the seat of the car, rolling back his shoulders & neck.

"My answer is a little smaller... but, before I give away my secrets... there's something I've been thinking just now."

His voice grows warmer, and just a little deeper. "My favourite thing about the ocean... will be different, after today, I think."

**Saeran**

The way Saeyoung describes it makes Saeran want to discover that world too. His brother always had such a way with storytelling.

Then Saeyoung shifts gears, and the tone coupled with praise makes Saeran shiver. He could wrap himself up in that voice... Saeran shifts in his seat, and adjusts his dress.

"I just thought... You'd have fun with all the sea creatures. And it's said that the ocean is the closest thing to space on Earth..."

It wasn't a particularly praise worthy thought process.

But he is glad Saeyoung liked it.

Still, Saeyoung's made him curious. Now he wants to know not just Saeyoung's secrets, but what he thinks Saeran will like as well.

"Um... I think my favourite part would end up the same as yours, but what do you think I might like otherwise?"

**Saeyoung**

"Hmmmmmm..." Saeyoung responds, with a curve to his smile that says he's been waiting for this question. "I'd been thinking about that too. About something special, that you can only experience by the ocean, although the result each time is a little different. In fact, you  can pretty much guarantee each experience is unique. Like fingerprints... hah... although that just makes it sound like a crime scene..."

It feels good, to talk like this.

All of the RFA have experienced, and sometimes complained about, his monologues. That weave around, sometimes without apparent purpose, and often pulling in threads of things that didn't seem like they fit there are all.

It's an old habit... from his childhood with Saeran.

Their access to things like children's storybooks was incredibly rare - in fact, as children, they had only ever been lucky enough to have one. Thanks to... V and Rika... He still can't think about that without a lot of conflicting emotions. But it had certainly been a treasure to them both.

So, then... Saeyoung had done his best to become a storyteller to his twin.

Especially as he was the one who had more opportunities to go out and experience limited slices of the world... that, and his willingness to take a beating if he was caught.

Although sometimes it wouldn't just be him.

So he did his best never to be caught. And to share as much as possible with his twin.

But the small glimpses of the world alone weren't enough, so Saeyoung would assemble everything he knew, everything he'd ever heard of, everything he could imagine... and weave it into something different, each time. Whatever it took to make his brother smile.

Some stories Saeran asked him to tell again and again... which certainly helped Saeyoung learn his taste.

Saeran liked vivid imagery... liked hearing about sensations and senses... colours... and, even as a young child, he loved when Saeyoung broke the thread of a narrative to insert something nonsensical, something foolish. They both had a taste for the absurd, deep down.

A musician, who sang only in the vacuum of space.

An ocean, but also a crime scene.

Something beautiful, with something ugly.

Something scary, with something soft.

His twin had always enjoyed things like this. Contrasts, jarring turns in the flow of a sentence or thought.

They made him smile, laugh in surprise at the strange turn Saeyoung had taken him without warning.

And so, without many other options for play, Saeyoung grew very good at telling his brother stories, tailored just for him.

It was honestly a surprise, after he left... that not everyone else his age shared his brother's tastes.

Adults were one thing, but even the few peers he met through college tended to find it a harmless affectation, or, sometimes, annoying. The RFA was more accepting, and less, depending... but he certainly never came close to someone else really appreciating that way of talking.

Although, well, then there was MC.

(I mean... that's her charm. She appreciates the unique side of everyone. That's why she saw... what she sees in Jumin...)

He hadn't... allowed himself to feel a lot of things when he was still with the agency, but he couldn't lie, he had felt... he'd found her very interesting.

In her, perhaps... her appreciation of his rambles, her care... it had reminded him, just a little, of Saeran.

And... he reflects.

She was chosen by Saeran, after all.

It's not really something he can probably ever know, but perhaps even then, Saeran saw something of himself... in who she was.

His surrogate entry into the RFA... to join his brother.

Saeran probably doesn't know all the reasons behind his choice, himself.

But it'd be nice to think.

Just a little.

That maybe, he'd wanted someone a little like who he'd been... to meet his twin. Even if the intention hadn't been a healthy one.

So... this.

This is nice.

Saeran is listening to him speak just like he used to. Saeyoung can feel his attention, his curiosity.

It'd be nice if he could look at Saeran while he talked, but a lot of their childhood stories had been told in the dark, so it's not like it really takes away from that warm, nostalgic feeling he gets as he paints pictures for his twin with his voice.

A story just for him, made purely to lighten the darkness aiming for his heart. Something shared against the noise. Strength found in whispers under bedsheets. Magic in between creaks on the stairs.

"I want to show it to you... in person, I think." Saeyoung continues. "So I won't give away how we're going to dust for those ocean fingerprints just yet. Maybe after you hear me out... after I go down on one knee and ask... what I want to ask you..."

Just thinking about it, he feels a little dizzy.

It doesn't matter that he's already told Saeran how he feels.

It doesn't matter that they've already been intimate.

The idea of confessing... like this... is just beyond what he ever could have hoped for in his life. And to someone that is so clearly, to him... the other part of his soul.

It feels good... although... this proximity to his twin, but being unable to reach out and touch him, or do more than glance at him, on a long drive...

Ah well. That's why, instead, he'll just reach out to Saeran with stories.

**Saeran**

As always, Saeyoung manages to tell a story with little quips and surprising twists. The difference now is in how animated he is - expressions changing with every new concept, sometimes even taking a hand off the wheel to illustrate the point.

He... would've made a great father, Saeran realizes. His twin was so youthful and vibrant, but caring and engaging, that he would really get along with kids.

Though sometimes Saeyoung was just a big kid himself. Saeran still finds random toy cars and the like in the bunker.

The point remains.

In contrast, Saeran imagines that he might just be awkward when handed a child.

To think that Saeyoung is giving up on that future by being with him... when he really would benefit from having a big and loving family...

It makes Saeran both happy and sad.

Nonetheless, he won't give this up. Saeyoung is his family alone, and no one can steal that away from him. Especially when Saeyoung is clearly anticipating the same thing he is.

"I look forward to it."

After the confession... a new world awaits.


	8. On the shell with Yoosung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking along the shore, the twin's date is disturbed...

**Saeyoung**

Clouds begin to increase the closer they get to the beach, but it doesn't seem to concern Saeyoung. If anything, he seems happier, asking Saeran what shapes he sees, and, of course, pointing one out he swears looks like a cat.

Well, it did have two pointy bits...

None of the clouds are dark, so it should be fine. A confession during a storm is certainly... a kind of romantic... but not really what either of them are hoping for.

Time passes easily, and they decide to dig into their snack bar stash so that they don’t need to stop to eat lunch, both keen to get to the shore as soon as possible.

**Saeran**

As Saeran takes out the snacks, he also pulls out his cell phone and considers it a moment.

It would be suspicious if he didn't log in at all today... Saeyoung had this morning, so he was safe, but Saeran going totally silent after an apparent fight the twins had might concern the RFA.

As evidenced by three missed calls.

But what was he going to say if he did log in...?

Saeran glances at Saeyoung, the question practically written on his face.

It feels a little invasive to contact the RFA while they're out together, but...

"Ah... I'm going to check in for a bit."

**Saeyoung**

Saeran using the app his twin had made... connecting to his found family...

Back when he made it, he’d never guessed one day the app would reuinte him and his other half.

He's so grateful. So grateful to the RFA for keeping him together enough... that he could come to a place like this, with Saeran at his side.

The fact that his twin wants to contact them, keep the channel with them open...

(He needs friends too... and there's no one better... I’m glad.)

"Oh, that's a good idea~ I wish I could join in too... if you want, tell them I say... hi... Oh, if Zen is there, then it's a 'meow', heh."

**Saeran**

"Sadist." He laughs as he says it, though.

Saeran logs in, and while Zen isn't there, Jaehee and MC are. Apparently Jaehee has another holiday coming up and is excitedly talking about her plans.

Naturally they pause the conversation when he joins the chat though.

> Jaehee: Welcome Saeran. How are you doing?
> 
> MC: Is everything going okay?

... In other words, while Saeyoung reassured them this morning they still want to see how he feels.

Saeran types back some pleasantries and the two seem reassured, if not surprised to hear they're going to the beach.

On an impulse... Just an impulse, based on a desire to... Show off a little...

Saeran takes a quick picture of Saeyoung driving.

> Jaehee: (shock.gif)
> 
> Jaehee: That's Luciel?
> 
> Jaehee: How do I say this... He looks...
> 
> MC: He cleaned up really well.
> 
> Jaehee: Yes, exactly. In particular the way his arms look while driving... I'd never had thought...

Raising his eyebrows, Saeran types back a quick response.

> Saeran: His arms what?

While Saeran knows exactly what she's saying, and feels validated that Saeyoung had dressed up this way for him, still...

> Jaehee: Oh... My apologies, that is a little awkward...

It's then MC jumps in to compliment Jumin's arms. The change is...

...welcome.

Though horrifying. Jumin driving anything is a cause for concern, and Jaehee definitely doesn't want to talk about the alluring shape of her boss's biceps.

The topic swiftly concludes after that, and Saeran logs back out with a little laugh.

"Jaehee was shocked by how good you look."

Maybe Saeyoung will have to explain later why he put the effort in, but... It probably won't set off any alarms. They're twins after all, and Saeyoung hasn't hidden his need to impress Saeran before.

**Saeyoung**

When Saeyoung feels the phone held up in his direction, there's a brief urge to turn his head slightly and smile, but he wants to keep his eyes on the road, just to be safe.

Plus, if he just keeps doing what he's doing, isn't that kind of... nice too? A little photo journalism-y. (This is how I looked, driving my date to the seaside.)

So he keeps his focus on the road, and tries not to react. His brother is clearly satisfied with the first image he takes, immediately going back to chatting with his hands in his lap, head bent down, intent on the screen.

Everyone will see it eventually, but Saeyoung idly wonders who his twin is sharing the image with right now.

It feels nice... that he wanted to share something from their trip. Even if some things must remain private.

...his twin wraps up the chat and comments on the photo's reception.

"Shocked, huh?" Saeyoung grins. "She _has_ seen me dress up for parties before. Guess she's always so busy doing every tiny thing Jumin decides that she didn't realise I do know how to use a comb and wash my face."

It's kind of flattering, though. Nice to have a (sort of?) positive reaction to a photo, given most of the time the reactions to him range from "WTF" to "SEVEN WHYYYY T_T"

Thinking of the RFA parties...

"Shame it'd be so risky... to go like this to an RFA party together..."

**Saeran**

"Technically well be each other's date anyway..."

After all, they were twins. They came as a pair. Neither of them had girlfriends... That the others knew of.

Thinking of it that way, the RFA party might be the only place it was acceptable to be with each other without cosplay.

Albeit with no public displays of affection.

Though Jumin and MC would steal the spotlight anyway.

**Saeyoung**

"Oh... yeah!" Saeyoung's voice notably brightens. "Now you've got me looking forward to the next one a whole lot more."

Saeran's right. He's right! It would make sense for them to stay together throughout the party a lot anyway... even take on the same tasks together...

"I bet we could make a lot of people blush if we synch up our smiles, haha~"

The idea makes him grin.

The two of them, side by side... It doesn't matter if they can't be completely obvious about it. Just thinking of them being like that together, with the RFA.

"So many things we're going to be able to do together..."

**Saeran**

Saeran makes a bit of a face. He doesn't really want to be in the spotlight either way.

"You can smile at them if you want..."

Saeran would rather keep his in reserve. Though he isn't exactly thrilled by Saeyoung's open affection either.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung can hear that slightly sulky tone in his brother's voice.

(God... I love him)

(How is he so... so...)

(I love him)

"Ooo-oh~? You're not gonna smile with me?"

Saeyoung looks ahead. He can see their destination now.

He grins, broadly. "What if I held your hand?"

**Saeran**

...That was a low blow. Was it already obvious how much he liked holding hands?

If it was any other event, Saeran might even say yes. But... holding hands... at the RFA party...

"That wouldn't make me smile."

It would only subject them to scrutiny.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung begins to slow the car down as the speed limit changes, now that they're close to the shore and leaving the main road.

"It wouldn't? Well... I guess I won't, then..." He puts on a whiny tone. "But... Noooooo... What if... What should I do...? What if someone else tries to take your hand?"

He makes it sound like the end of the world. "I'll cry... so... stay close to me even if we don't do that, okay?"

**Saeran**

The idea someone would want to take his hand makes Saeran scoff, let alone Saeyoung's dramatics over it.

That's not even mentioning the inconsistencies. What did Saeyoung want exactly? A smile, a hand, or... was he satisfied with just having Saeran as a date after all?

There's only one thing that's certain.

"I won't be the one encouraging people."

Saeran suspects it would be quite easy for Saeyoung to charm anyone he wanted, even by mistake, if he was dressed up and engaging enough.

Jaehee's reaction proved it.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung drops the whininess from his voice. "Does it bother you? How I am with them?"

**Saeran**

It would be a lie to say it didn't. Saeran had been envious and angry with the RFA, and Saeyoung in particular... for a very long time. Every positive interaction he witnessed a reminder of his own ineptitude.

Feelings he should really know better than to have by now.

Here they are on a date, and he's letting old insecurities haunt him, a ghost of his old self possessing him for just a moment.

"...sorry. I'm selfish... you deserve to be showed off, but I also don't want to share you."

Jaehee's remark still bothers him too.

But it isn't just that.

The idea of Saeyoung encouraging Saeran to give party guests smiles he doesn't mean, simply for the sake of it...

"... and... I only want to smile for you."

It might be a way for Saeyoung to show off Saeran, but he'd rather belong to Saeyoung only.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung is pulling into a convenient place to stop as Saeran begins to reply, carefully avoiding some rougher gravel that could potentially get flicked up into the car or the windows...

...don't want to share...

The sound of Saeran's voice as he says it.

It's intoxicating.

Being Saeran's... only Saeran's...

...it sounds... thrilling. He wants to belong to Saeran... he wants Saeran to belong to him...

...no one else.

For some reason, as he thinks about that, he suddenly wishes he'd bought a necklace, too... or... something to go around his neck, anyway. And then, his twin drops the second sentiment...

Smiling for no one else...

He...

Saeyoung shuts the engine off, staring at his key in the ignition for a moment.

Finally... he can touch Saeran again.

He unfastens his seatbelt as his twin watches him silently, waiting for his response.

Does Saeran think he's upset by those words? It seems like he feels like he's disappointed his older brother.

But...

Freed of the seatbelt, Saeyoung wriggles over just enough that he can plant a light kiss on his twin's lips.

"Saeran..." Saeyoung steadies himself, with his hand on his twin's thigh... that he's been wanting to touch this entire trip.

"I want to be yours, too... I want to only be yours..."

His lips part wetly, and he's about to close the short distance between his own and Saeran's when he manages to stop himself short.

No. If he keeps going, he won’t want to stop. He can't do that to Saeran. He promised to make things official, first.

So instead, he draws one last breath, nuzzles his nose against his twin’s, and pulls back, the pounding of his heart making the fresh wound in his ear ache.

"So... l-let's go... look at the waves... and the sand... and I'll tell you about that properly... a little later."

**Saeran**

So consumed by guilt, Saeran hadn't even realized they arrived until Saeyoung stopped and...

And....

The restraint was admirable, but torturous.

Nevertheless, it made Saeran happy to see how Saeyoung was taking this seriously. The dedication proof that he meant every word.

As tempting as it was to pull Saeyoung back in, Saeran wasn't about to sabotage the effort being made on his behalf.

So he only smiles, a secret smile meant just for his twin, before collecting their bag for the date ahead.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung offers to carry it, but Saeran seems to have decided this is _his_ job, so Saeyoung satisfies himself by grasping Saeran's free hand again.

Feels like forever since he last held it.

At least Saeyoung is carrying the small parcel with Saeran's gift inside. He hopes he can offer it soon.

The stretch of beach before them is beautiful, although Saeyoung made sure to park in a slightly inconvenient spot, far from any of the resorts and restaurants populated by a mix of tourists and locals.

It's not a private stretch of beach just to themselves, but, close enough.

(Although...) he muses. (Resorts...)

Maybe if they wound up staying here particularly late... though it's not like they'd brought a change of clothes. And while he brought touch-ups for Saeran's makeup with him, his twin would probably not feel comfortable sleeping in a place like this... or would he?

Together in a hotel room...

Better not to think about it. Look at what's before you, first, before you start thinking about any of that.

Their main challenges to total privacy is just a small group out on a rented fishing boat, and a family with two small children wading Neither group particularly close.

Saeyoung gestures with the hand not holding his twin's.

"The beach!" he says, entirely unnecessarily.

"What's your first impressions? Do you like it?"

**Saeran**

While Saeyoung's first thoughts might be on more practical topics, everything else drops away for Saeran and he simply _experiences_.

The soft hand in his, the crunch of sand under his feet, the salt in the air...

He wants to commit it all to memory. Looking up to the sky, he watches clouds slowly chase the horizon...

In this very moment, Saeran knows for a fact that he has everything he ever needs.

"... I already want to come here again."

It fills him with such awe. What else is this world ready to offer him?

He may have everything he needs, but now... He can be greedy and take what he wants too, right?

He turns his eyes back to Saeyoung, as if asking what more his twin will give him.

**Saeyoung**

Recognising the expectancy in his twin's eyes, Saeyoung returns an easy smile, and a squeeze of the hand in his.

Now that he's had a little time to get used to it, he doesn't even see any of the disguise he helped his twin create any more. All he sees is Saeran. All he feels is an ever-strengthening conviction that he's where he should be.

With who he should be.

He's a part of the world, not just getting by within it, meeting the bare requirements to be allowed to take up space.

Right now. There's meaning to his presence on earth.

"Yes. Let's visit many, many times," he replies. "I want to make so many memories of the ocean with you..."

The salt in the air fills him with energy. "Let's see if we can find a good spot to put down our towels and snacks, then we should go for a walk..."

Not that it’s likely to be an issue here, but of course he'll keep all the valuable things with him.

(Car keys... wallet... phone... necklace... Saeran...)

Given this stretch of the beach isn't as populated, they have their choice as to where they want to set up their stuff. Because of the green rolling hills and rocks surrounding the beach, there's quite a few little spots sheltered from the wind and the view from the road.

They find somewhere good, in the shade of a particularly large andesite rock. Saeyoung sees not far from where they are now a whole section of the beach dominated by andesite blocks and steps - a very good opportunity to find some interesting rockpools to show his twin.

Before they move on, though... "Better be sure we won't get burned. Although at least your foundation is SPF 50+, haha..."

Still, he'd hate let cockiness wind up giving his brother a red face that wasn't caused directly be his own actions... suburn, Saeyoung knows from experience, is The Worst.

He applies some to his own arms and face, but fortunately Saeran's outfit gives him pretty good coverage already, the breeze giving plenty of reasons to keep his jacket on. A hat (well secured to avoid interfering with the wig) completes it... except for...

"Let me do your legs for you..." Saeyoung requests, not trying to hide the slightly licentious smile that appears with his suggestion.

With some eye-rolling, Saeran acquiesces.

Saeyoung doesn't make a big fuss of it, but he certainly enjoys running his hands from Saeran's ankles to his knees...

It can't have been entirely unpleasant for Saeran either, because by the time Saeyoung switches to his other leg, Saeran is staring out at the ocean with an unassuming, peaceful look on his face. Breathing in deeply. Finished already, Saeyoung pauses a moment, hand still on Saeran's ankle, just watching his twin's face as he stares out to sea.

Then Saeran's eyes drop back down to his brother, who gives himself a shake, standing, then offers a hand to pull Saeran up from where he sat.

"Let's walk this way," Saeyoung suggests, pointing towards the rockier area. "We can look at shells that have washed up, and I bet we'll see something interesting where the ocean meets the rocks."

Still hand in hand... with his heart feeling like it's made of nothing but optical fibre shooting beams of light to every part of his body... they walk along the shore.

**Saeran**

It's difficult knowing where to look. The horizon, the waves, the sand and all their hidden shells... Saeyoung...

Saeran expected his heart would be racing, but instead it’s steady - joining the beat of the waves against the shore. It would be nice if every day could be like this.

Every so often Saeran spots some interesting seashells, with bright colours and unique patterns. One in particular grabs his immediate attention when he sees it.

A conch... right?

He heard somewhere that you can hear the sea no matter where you are with those.

Saeyoung would know. He tugs on his brother's hand, and kneels down to scoop the shell from the sand.

"Hy--Oppa, look at this." (Ack! Almost slipped up...)

It had been so easy to forget he was dressed as anyone but himself at this point. Everything felt so natural.

The matter of the confession had completely slipped his mind too, Saeran taking for granted the fact that they were already together and simply spending time with each other.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung accepts the shell smoothly. It’s lightweight and smooth, all traces of its previous inhabitant washed clean. Now it's just an empty vessel for seawater, and maybe hermit crabs.

The patterns are beautiful. Saeyoung wipes off a little sand with his thumb, enjoying the feel of it in his hand.

"Oh-"

"Did you know shells like this let you hear the sound of the ocean?" He presses the shell against his own ear to demonstrate, and hears –

_Dee-dee doo, dee dah dee dah dee doo~_

\- his ringtone???

He stares ahead of himself for a second in confusion. "Wha-"

Oh. Right.

"Sorry...I'll put my phone on silent, one sec-"

**Saeran**

Saeran can't help it. He laughs - the call had such perfect timing and the perplexed look on Saeyoung's face was something else entirely.

"It's fine, go ahead and take it."

Saeran will just smoothly extract the shell from his brother's hand first. It was nice to know he was right. Even nicer to see Saeyoung affirming that in his own cute way, even with the confusion.

It gives him an idea.

Saeran places the shell by his ear just as Saeyoung picks his phone up. Going by the screen, the call is from Yoosung.

"Hyung!" his mouth mimes Yoosung's clear voice, audible to Saeran over the speaker.

It'll be fun to role play a little bit.

**Saeyoung**

Out of the corner of his eye, Saeyoung catches Saeran's movement, and has to force himself not to just answer with a giggle.

"Ah~ Is that you, Jaehee?" he replies instead, trying to sound like he means it.

"SEVEN-HYUNG!!!"

It's... so easy to get Yoosung to whine. And it never gets old. For Saeyoung, anyway.

"Did you delete my number by accident?! It's me!!! I don't sound like a girl!!! D-do I?"

"Uh-oh, one of those 'it's me' callers, I don't wanna be scammed, is better hang up~"

"S-SEVEN HYUNG!!!" 

Saeyoung's ear rings, but it was worth it.

"IT'S ME, YOOSUNG. Wait... but... why would Jaehee call you hyung???"

Saeyoung waits as he can almost hear the penny drop in Yoosung's pause.

"... you're teasing me."

"Ah, Yoosungie-boy. It's you. You should have said something."

**Saeran**

Rather than go with faces Kim Yoosung would really be making during the call, Saeran opts to instead be contradictory to what Yoosung's actually saying.

For instance: during the "You're teasing me," line, he places a finger on his lips and bats eyelashes at Saeyoung. It's taking a typical sulky line from Yoosung and making it seductive... Seeing how Saeyoung squirms at his theatrics only adds to the fun.

Perhaps it's a little too on point though. Saeran was aware his brother had a small crush on Yoosung at some point.

It was one of those things that he couldn't hide from Saeran's eyes, not that the others ever picked up on it. Though they were too closeted to allow the thought to enter their mind.

Saeran also knows Yoosung crushes on Saeyoung, in his way. Full of denial.

It made the mockery vindictive.

But that was fine.

Because Saeyoung was his, and more concerned with it being Saeran in front of him acting all coy, than Yoosung demanding attention on the phone.

**Saeyoung**

This phone call was all worth it to see Saeran's interpretive theatrics.

It's too good. Saeyoung giggles out loud at the end of his last sentence, looking at his brother.

"HEY! Don't laugh at me! And I'm not a boy, I'm a grown man!"

"Oh, so you're all done growing then?"

"Ghk.. Maybe calling you was a bad idea."

"Why _did_ you call me, Yoosung?"

Yoosung's voice regains his earlier excitement. "Oh, yeah! So, I saw the photo your brother posted of you, and I thought, 'Wow! That'd even work for a date!'"

Saeyoung deflects with his own whine. "Yoosungieee... you've seen me at parties. Why is everyone so shocked I can dress nicely?!"

"S-Seven! I'm- well, parties are really formal... dates are like... I just didn't know you had stuff like that!"

...Saeyoung wonders where this could possibly be going. There's no way...

...never...

...Kim Yoosung, of all people, never in a million years, would suspect Saeyoung was on a date right now. Especially given his company.

He can't help but needle a little.

"Are you hurt I never wore it out to laser tag with you~?"

"What?! N-no!!"

**Saeran**

...this isn't funny anymore.

Dropping the shell and frowning slightly, Saeran steps back a little - then pitches his voice loud enough for Yoosung to hear.

"Maybe he saw that and thought about how he'd like to date you."

A pointed comment sure to get a shut down.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran's change, and the soft sound of the shell hitting the sand, makes Saeyoung jump.

Maybe he shouldn't have said that last part... it does kinda rub it in that he and Yoosung have gone on things that, if the context was changed only a little, could technically have been dates. But... they never were.

And besides-

"Gross! GROSS!! N-no way! W-wait... is that Saeran? He can hear me?"

Yoosung suddenly sounds much more hesitant. Saeran makes him nervous, Saeyoung knows. Thank God it was Zen when Saeyoung had made that trip to rescue his twin, or it'd probably be ten times worse.

Yoosung has never talked to Saeran alone, and always seems to shut down a little in his presence.

Zen never fully explained what had happened the first time he saw Saeran, but maybe Yoosung's imagination... it's hard to know.

"Of course it's Saeran. You're yelling loud enough for him to hear."

Reacting to his brother's own unhappiness, Saeyoung can't help but reply a little snappily himself.

"S-sorry... anyway... why I called is... I'm trying to find a girlfriend again, and there’s an event going on soon, and when I saw you, I thought - what if I brought a wing man! A group date, a little less pressure on everyone... you... you don't want to be a forever alone... forever... too, right?"

Saeyoung reaches out to his twin with his free hand, hooking his arm into Saeran's. Saeran is stiff, but doesn't pull away.

"I'm not alone," he replies, pointedly, glancing over at his twin's profile. "And I'm not interested. Why not ask Zen? He's still moaning about being single, just like you..."

"B-BUT!! Then both the girls will just fall for him!!" Yoosung complains. He's clearly considered this option before.

"So, you want me to come, because I'll be good enough to set up with someone, but no competition for you. I see." The words are harsh, but mostly Saeyoung is just amused. It is Zen, after all. He can't be too hurt losing in that battle.

"S-Seven... I didn't mean it like that..."

"Yoosung. I don't want to go on any dates with you, okay?" He squeezes Saeran's arm closer.

 "It's not my thing. You really should ask Zen. You might be surprised how it goes. You two might go really well together on a date..."

The potential double meaning of that last line goes right over Yoosung's head. "F-fine... geeze... just... just don't come crying to me when I'm happily in love and you're just playing board games in your underwear with Saeran at two am BY YOURSELVES."

"Oh," Saeyoung grins, "finally, you have a good idea!"

"Right?! Wait, no I don't! That's not-!"

"I gotta go, Yoosung. Make sure you post photos of your date with Zen to the Messenger~"

"Ugh... bye, Seven..."

Finally, done.

Saeyoung switches his phone to silent mode.

**Saeran**

"He's going to complain about that." Saeran observes, though not at all sorry. He relaxes into Saeyoung's arms.

It was a little cruel, but it felt good to hear Saeyoung shut Yoosung down like that. For him.

**Saeyoung**

"At least he had one promising idea," Saeyoung responds, "although if we're in our underwear I might have trouble focusing on the board game."

Yoosung might have thought he was conjuring an image of lonely, unkempt bachelors, but it sounded like fun to Saeyoung.

He leads Saeran closer to the rocks.

"We should be okay to walk around here, but don't let go of me, okay? There's a sandy path but I'd hate for you to slip on anything..."

Saeyoung's face is covered with an expression of pure delight not long after when he finds...


	9. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Smut chapter** \- Saeyoung and Saeran finally confess their love to each other, and then explore some other feelings, too.
> 
> _He never thought, back when he’d bought this elegant dress, he'd be disappearing underneath it quite like this._
> 
> _And certainly not with the intention to suck his brother’s dick._

**Saeyoung**

His eyes sparkle. This is _exactly_ what he was hoping to find. "This is perfect! Saeran, this is the thing I was talking about when you were guessing my favourite thing about the ocean! This small thing..."

He points ahead.

"Rockpools!"

He carefully leads Saeran safely to the edge of the pool. "Each one of these is its own little environment... its own world... you never know what you'll find under every rock... and they shine... like gemstones on the shore..."

A yellow fish darts behind a rock as their shadows fall across the water.

"Oh, I love those little guys... I wonder if there's a crab around here..." Saeyoung ponders, reaching into the pool with child-like enthusiasm and zero concern for potentially getting pincered.

**Saeran**

"Oh...!"

Just like that, the phone call is forgotten. Saeran watches with rapt attention when Saeyoung reaches into the pool, immediately fascinated as well.

Now he's seen it, it made sense for the pools to be Saeyoung's favourite thing. It might just become his, too.

**Saeyoung**

Fortunately for Seven, there isn't a crab where he so enthusiastically stuck his hand, but, wedged onto the rock...

"Ahahaha... oh, I love these guys too. Look, it's spiky and cute, like you~"

He very gently lifts the creature up, so that none of its limbs are caught. An orb with thick, long spines coming from it in every direction.

"It's also cuddly~ Another thing I like when you do it, hehehe... much better than a crab." Saeyoung demonstrates, lightly resting a finger on by one of the sea urchin's spines. The urchin slowly, inexorably begins to close its spines, to lightly hold his finger.

"Wanna try?"

**Saeran**

"I don't see the resemblance..." Saeran remarks, because he has his own personal opinions on what he matches with... a crab, probably. A defensive shell and snappy when provoked.

But he holds his hand out expectantly.

He does want to hold it, this small living thing. To treat it gently and place it back in the water, where it belongs.

Just like... how Saeyoung would treat him.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung gently places it into Saeran's hands, and watches, with a mixture of delight and affection, as his brother tentatively tries the same trick with the sea urchin.

"Heh... it's trying to work out if you're food… but don't worry... even if it thinks you are, it can't bite you. It'll just cuddle you..."

After a minute, Saeyoung takes the sea urchin back and places it into the water, so it doesn't dry out. He and Saeran spend a little longer looking through the pool... Then Saeyoung looks up, staring off to their left... ahhhhh.

There.

It's there...

That's where he needs to...

"Saeran..." he stands, slowly, offering his hand.

"Let's go over there..."

He leads Saeran further from the beach, towards a rocky overhang lit beautifully by the afternoon light in warm hues. The cool air from inside mixes with the warmth of the beach, gently stirring the leaves of the few plants inside.

They step under the rocky roof, in a place totally their own. No one else in sight or earshot.

It's here... this is where he...

His twin is looking around them, admiring the beauty of the small cave. The expression on his face... (I want to pull him into my arms so bad...)

"Saeran..." he says softly, so that his twin's attention is drawn back to him.

On the slightly damp, cool collection of stones, Saeyoung goes down onto one knee, clasping one of Saeran's hands into both of his own.

"Saeran... can I say what's on my mind?"

**Saeran**

Oh...

_Oh._

This is it.

So caught up in the beauty of their surroundings, Saeran had forgotten the entire purpose of coming here.

Ah... his heart...

The location... and everything done today...

All is perfectly romantic.

His brother is so sly.

Saeran nods, face red.

**Saeyoung**

He's so cute.

He's SO cute.

HE'S SO CUTE.

Saeyoung resists the urge to tell him as much... he wants what he says next to have the full weight of his seriousness behind it.

He kisses the hand clasped in his own in response to Saeran's nod.

"Thank you..."

He looks up at Saeran, the sound of the beach a dull background rumble, peaceful and ubiquitous.

"Saeran. Ever since I was born... I loved you... Even when we were young, I think a part of me knew just how deep that love went. How hungry I was for you... too much... I wanted you too much... more than I knew I was allowed to want you." He holds Saeran's gaze, unwavering. "...that's what I thought, then, even if I didn't understand exactly what that feeling was."

"So when I left, I did it because I thought I was buying your freedom. And…” He sighs, the feelings bubbling up in his memory. "I thought that way... you'd be free of this... feeling... I have deep inside me. This feeling that I can't ever let go of.”

He's... (oh...) ...getting a little watery, and not from the saltwater spray from the beach.

"This feeling that tells me I don't just want to be your twin. I want... I want... your caress... your kisses... your whole heart. I can't stand the idea of you being with someone else."

Saeran being with someone else...

(It's like a dagger...)

(My heart feels like it would be ripped to shreds... just thinking about it.)

He blinks, eyes shining, but never turning his face from Saeran.

"Acknowledging that feeling would have been selfish... and dangerous... I thought."

"So even when we were reunited, I didn't allow my heart to remind me of that feeling. But I wanted you. I wanted you so much. Wanted you near me. Wanted your voice in my ear. Your smell. Your touch. Wanted you to look at... me... just me."

He smiles, shakily.

"And then... you turned towards me, on your own. I’ve never felt more alive since the moment we first kissed. I've never felt more whole than when you allowed me to take you in my arms."

He’d seen the truth fully as they’d done those things. He’d realised what he truly wanted.

"I can't... stand the thought of not being with you Saeran. With you, and only you. My soulmate. My other half. My love..."

"Please... be my boyfriend. Please... don't leave my side."

"I promise... I'll stay with you. I won’t look away from this feeling any more. So please."

"Stay with me... like this..."

**Saeran**

The words are a familiar song, but one Saeran can listen to continuously.

There's only one possible answer, but it feels wrong to keep it as simple as a 'yes'. Not when... Looking at Saeyoung now...

Saeran sees himself reflected in that face, beyond the physical fact that they're twins. The same thoughts and feelings connecting them, making them one. All their mistakes and flaws shared and washed away with the distant waves.

Saeran sees who they truly are.

He parts his lips.

"...when I gave up on your love, I killed myself. My heart had stopped... because you weren't there to help pump it. And when you found me again, I was cold."

Like a corpse. A zombie. Reanimated by an elixir brewed by a witch.

"But... you didn't give up on me. You wrapped me in so much warmth, you were like a fire... So warm, I was scared I’d burn."

(Ah… I’m no good at metaphors…) But in this case, there is something Saeyoung reminds him of, strongly.

Once he had read of a bird...

"... you were a phoenix, bringing me into your nest. And not only did you revive me, but you still sing the sweetest songs... raising me up with your wings."

Even now, his heart feels so... so buoyant.

"Or should I say, you gave me your heart...? Haha. It feels like, you've fixed it somehow, anyway... and that's what's most important. More than any words, you... you showed you loved me. Even when I didn't deserve it..."

There's still a question of whether he deserves it now too.

"I haven't really done anything in return. To prove my own love. All I can say is... I've only ever wanted to look at you, even when I was looking away."

Besides...

"I couldn't trade this imperfect love for anything."

Couldn't, rather than wouldn't, because oh God did he try. When he was at his absolute worst, when he thought it was his only solution...

He couldn't.

Couldn’t ever.

"If you'll have me despite all I've done, and what I am, then... of course I'll stay with you, hyung."

**Saeyoung**

Listening to his brother's words, he feels like he's hearing the voice of an angel. Too beautiful for this reality.

But somehow, here he is. Real. Looking only at him. A flesh and blood human.

"Then..." Saeyoung responds, "...I'd like you to wear this..."

He stands, and takes out the necklace, pendant already affixed. Sure, they might tweak the design a little at home, but here and now, it's perfect. The chains sparkle in the light reflected from the distant water.

And, because there are ways these things are done, the light catches Saeyoung's earring, too. Two symbols, two hearts, a single, undying, unescapable emotion.

Saeran watches with anticipation, as Saeyoung leans in, to close the clasp around his twin's neck...

**Saeran**

Once the choker is clasped perfectly around his throat, Saeran catches Saeyoung's hands - not willing to let them pull away, pressing them to his neck. It's a mirror of long ago, when he had tried to strangle Saeyoung... but gentler, and full of trust.

At his twin's mercy.

Back then, Saeyoung had been willing to allow Saeran anything. Loved him so much that he would've died to make him happy.

Trusted Saeran enough to hope he wouldn't need to.

(I want to show Saeyoung... I feel the same.)

He leans in and presses a kiss to Saeyoung's lips.

It's official.

He is Saeyoung's.

And Saeyoung is his.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung accepts the kiss, his hands still around Saeran's neck, Saeran's hands still covering his own.

The significance of the gesture... their history... isn't lost on him.

Neither is... how... dizzy... this display of trust and vulnerability makes him feel.

How warm... how enticing...

(Maybe I should have confessed somewhere over soft sand... because right now I just want to...)

He'd happily tear himself to shreds kneeling on the rocks if it meant embracing Saeran the way he wants to right now. The pain would only enhance the pleasure of this soft skin under his fingers... his brother’s lips pressed against his own...

But he holds himself back. Mostly. Saeran probably wouldn’t want to, here… right?

(But let me... just take one step...)

Saeran shines so brightly... he's so beautiful.

Saeyoung... is just as much a moth as a phoenix... drawn in towards his twin’s light. His hands still around Saeran’s neck, he presses himself against his brother's mouth hungrily. Saeran's lips part freely. Caressing Saeran's tongue with his own, he mirrors the gentle stroking with the fingers Saeran still holds. Tiny, needy circles.

Almost feels like being underwater... once they finally come up for a breath.

Saeran doesn't seem to want his brother to let go...

**Saeran**

This is the moment they've been waiting for after all. Haven't they been patient enough?

Saeran deepens the kiss, drowning them further in the sensation of each other. Once Saeyoung's hands seem likely to stay where they are, he moves his down Saeyoung's arms in a long caress.

He has no concern for their location, because in his twin's arms, Saeran feels safe.

**Saeyoung**

His twin's touch as the fingers leave his own to trail down Saeyoung's arms is thrilling.

Without words, he feels his brother's request... _don't let go... stay... touch me..._

Every part of his being wants to grant Saeran's wish. Maybe some parts more than others.

"Ahhh... Saeran.." he echoes his own version of the moan he'd pulled from Saeran this morning before he'd been pushed away. "Saeran...!"

His twin is pressing against his body like a cat rubbing up against a leg, but in their case, it was more… a leg... rubbing up against... his...

He's about to speak again, de-escalate, but Saeran presses his mouth into Saeyoung's once more, messily drinking every drop of affection and lust written in every sound coming from his twin's lips.

Finally, another surface for a breath.

"Saeran... I-I... we should probably hold this thought... for... ahhhhh, god, your… for... later... when we're not outside like this... o-oh."

He strokes the line of Saeran's jaw with his closest fingers. "I'm seconds away from getting down on my knees again at this rate..."

**Saeyoung**

No.

Saeran can't hold back now, not when they've come this far.

Not when his brother's voice sounds so sinful, echoing off the cave walls and sending vibrations down his spine...

Any protest about being outdoors isn't even worth a second thought.

It feels good... the risk of being exposed added a thrill. But more than that, was the wild freedom of it all. The world was theirs, too.

As for the rest of what Saeyoung said, he's much more receptive to that.

(On his knees... huh...)

"Not a bad idea." Saeran murmurs.

**Saeyoung**

…deep down, he _wanted_ Saeran to encourage him. It's the only reason he'd bring it up.

He was just waiting for the smallest excuse…

And, well...

If they do it like this... even if someone walked in on them... they wouldn't realise Saeran's secret if he...

"Aa-ahh..."

Along with Saeran's murmured approval comes another push, another grind against Saeyoung.

There's no ignoring it, his younger twin's body is mirroring him in more ways than one.

(I want it...)

(I want him...)

It feels like weeks have passed since they last were intimate like this, even though it's not even a day. But every minute felt so full... and the long drive, unable to reach out to his twin...

And now he has permission.

Then...

“Please accept this second confession, my body to yours."

He lets his hands slide from Saeran's neck, not without allowing a slight grazing of the skin with his fingernails.

Saeyoung's hands then find their way down Saeran's body, travelling with him as he sinks, now, to both knees...

...then, ever so briefly, he brings his hands together as if praying.

The ground under his shins is rough, but he doesn't care, separating his palms once more to slide his hands up his twin's legs, almost a parody of his earlier sunscreen application.

He's grateful Saeran didn't opt to wear stockings. One less thing to get in the way.

**Saeran**

Erection more than half hard at this point, it becomes more obvious as Saeyoung slides his hands up Saeran's legs - threatening to lift the dress hem up, if not for the restrictiveness of his briefs.

It's... a little embarrassing, but it doesn't stop his need.

Saeran shifts his stance a little, hoping it'll be enough to keep him steady as his knees tense in anticipation.

There's no teasing this time, they've waited long enough. Now it's pure unadulterated need.

"Please..." He whispers, longing for that intimacy again.

**Saeyoung**

There's something especially thrilling about touching Saeran's legs from under the skirt.

He's already attractive enough naked... but something about touching him without seeing what he's doing...

When one sense is missing, the others get stronger, right?

Saeyoung squeezes teases, slides his hands up to Saeran's ass and - now it's Saeran's turn to have a skirt give away his secrets.

Saeyoung's hands grope his twin like he'd started to earlier, after Saeran had kept teasing him, calling him 'oppa'...and Saeyoung had felt the need to demonstrate, then, what he might do if pushed too far.

Some of that sadistic side surfaces in him at the memory, and at the feel of his brother's body in his hands.

"’Please...’ you say? What is it, jagiya~ Is there something you want from me?"

"You'll have to ask me more clearly."

**Saeran**

"Ah..."

Oh, that is cruel.

And Saeran is weak.

Right now, he'll happily do whatever his brother asked. As long as it meant those hands never left his body.

If Saeyoung wants him to beg, then...

He'll do it.

But he'll be sure to drive Saeyoung mad too, if that's the case.

Dropping his voice to a sensual purr, Saeran recalls how his brother had reacted when Saeran had changed his voice before. How _he_ had felt at his brother's later revenge.

The result is a tone like pure honey.

"Oooppa~ Please don't tease me... please, touch me..."

Beyond that, he isn't sure what to say. If it's dirty talk Saeyoung wants... Saeran’s not sure how to start. It’s not something he’d ever done with others, not this way.

Still, he’ll try. He wants to see the effect his words can have.

Smoothing hair back from Saeyoung's face, he adds in a whisper:

"Just like before… do that thing you did to me before…”

**Saeyoung**

Rather than responding with words, he responds with touch.

He slides his hands down Saeran's ass, bringing his underwear with it, to a degree.

It might be a little stuck at the front...

He never thought, back when he’d bought this elegant dress, he'd be disappearing underneath it quite like this.

And certainly not with the intention to suck his brother’s dick.

His hands and mouth meet as he finally frees the rest of his brother's erection from his pants. He's not playing around. He’s been wanting Saeran all day. One long, hungry lick... hands returning to Saeran's ass... and then he takes his twin's cock into his mouth, barely even gagging as he reaches the base.

('You've done this a lot...' Saeran had said...)

He wonders when he should tell Saeran about his collection of toys... not all his experience was from others.

And from now on, only Saeran...

His brother's breathing grows pleasingly louder and faster... along with a whimper as Saeyoung stimulates him further with his mouth and hands... rising up to tease at the slit that dribbles salty pre-cum in response to Saeran’s arousal… then tracing the shape of the head with his tongue

He can't see anything, under the skirt, relying on touch...

He's gratified as Saeran begins to push back against him, impatient with the speed, wanting more, more of Saeyoung's mouth.

Saeyoung is all too happy to comply.

**Saeran**

Saeran can't get enough of the heat of Saeyoung's mouth, and the illicit movement of his tongue. Already he can feel himself approaching orgasm much fast than last time, spurred on by the anticipation and denial during the day.

And his brother's mouth... Is just... So, so good...

Saeran whimpers, then moans, and thrusts deeper down his twin’s throat.

His muscles shake with effort of standing, and while the pleasure builds around his groin, the rest of his body burns too.

In an attempt to alleviate the craving for touch, Saeran runs a hand up his own side...

It's not enough.

How could he be satisfied...?

Only Saeyoung could give him release.

(Does Saeyoung need to hear more?)

Panting for breath, Saeran again croons praises for Saeyoung.

"Ah, yes, like that..."

"Your mouth... feels so good…"

It's a bit amateurish, but... An attempt is being made.

(What would I... Want to hear...?)

...the raw truth. Nothing else could be more erotic.

"I've been wanting... this, ah, _you_... all day... oppa... I’ve wanted you to touch me… kiss me…s-suck… a-ah…"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung feels his twin writhe above him even as he bucks forward into his mouth - the way his body moves...

(Is he touching himself?)

It must be an odd feeling, having so much intensity on one half of your body and the rest aching with neglect...

Then his brother starts encouraging him.

It’s cute. So adorable. He wonders if he can make him say ‘fuck’. His twin can let loose the cruellest insults, but Saeyoung can’t actually remember him ever actually _swearing._  

…Saeyoung wonders if he’s going to be a bad influence on his twin in bed. Or at least a nasty one. Although sometimes he catches a glimpse of something in his twin's eye that makes him wonder if there's more to his brother’s desires than he's been letting on. Things he wants to do that he hasn't allowed himself to ask for, yet.

Then Saeran moans, tells Saeyoung how much he's been craving him all day...

Suddenly ‘cute’ stops really describing his twin's words. (You wanted me to… do this all day?)

Even though his brother always responded to his touches, Saeyoung couldn't help but wonder (guiltily) if... he'd been thinking about this union of bodies much, much more than Saeran had. _Wanting_ it much, much more.

Which... everyone has different libidos and interests... but... even though his twin had reassured him... it wasn't hard to wonder if he was pushing too hard... and just being accepted out of love and not desire.

So... hearing this... is a relief...

And also intensely erotic.

(You've wanted this...?)

(You've been wanting me...?)

If his mouth wasn't busy, he'd be responding with his own lewd list of activities right now.

Instead, he responds by changing things up. He teases and tongues just the underside of Saeran's cock, and frees his hands from Saeran's skirt. Instead, he wraps them around as much of Saeran's waist as he can grab and -

\- oh. He... likes that a lot. Saeran arches forward, his dick pushing back all the way into Saeyoung's mouth once more, his hands moving to cover his twins where they rest on his waist. From the feel of it, he has his arms wrapped around himself, so that each hand holds Saeyoung's at his opposite hip.

It does make it more difficult for Saeran to balance, though, and he steps back, shakily with one leg.

With his brother wrapped in this half-embrace, fingers intertwined once more... it's a little more difficult to move, but...

He can feel his brother's passion through his fingertips. (He wants this... he wants this so badly...)

(He's thinking right now, about that release, about filling my mouth, pushing into me and letting go and -)

\- he does, with what sounds like a sob. Saeyoung steadies him as best he can with his hands.

As soon as it feels like his twin’s shudders have come to a halt, Saeyoung pulls a handkerchief from his pants pocked (you always gotta have a handkerchief) and gently removes the majority of his own moisture from Saeran's groin with it, continuing to steady him with his other hand. (He can probably air-dry for a minute and be fine...)

Saeyoung is practical, and besides, it's the nice thing to do.

Then, tucking the handkerchief away, he rises to fully embrace Saeran once more, feeling his brother's weight shakily lean into him...

"Let's take a minute, and then maybe go enjoy the sun for a while... sitting down..." Saeyoung suggests, listening to his twin's breathing slowly return to normal.


	10. Wilful blindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran worries that Saeyoung is too slavishly devoted to only giving to him, and is proven correct, as Saeyoung still carries an idealised image in his mind of a younger brother who is still so much more innocent than he is... even though it isn't true, at all. Attempting to correct Saeyoung's image of his twin, Saeran shares a small glimpse of his past.

**Saeran**

Saeran fits his body against Saeyoung's like a missing puzzle piece, head perfectly in place on his twin's shoulder and arms interlocking around his waist.

(It makes sense... for us to match like this.) He nods his assent to Saeyoung's suggestion.

(Maybe it's fate... that I ended up a little smaller.)

How could he think otherwise? It was so natural to simply lean in his brother's arms and breathe. His body... felt so light. And Saeyoung was so warm.

"I love you." He says, and realizes he didn't say it earlier.

So wrapped up in describing his love, he need and desires, Saeran had missed the most important part.

That wouldn't do.

Tilting his head to kiss along Saeyoung's neck, he'll repeat himself as much as it feels necessary.

"I love you... I love you, I love you so so much..."

**Saeyoung**

Now it's Saeyoung's turn to feel his legs go weak.

He nuzzles into Saeran's shoulder, shivering at the power of those words and that touch.

Even if he'd wanted to resist his brother, he'd have failed after hearing that.

"Stay with me... Saeran... I'll love you until my last breath... and even after that. I'll love you... until the universe draws its last breath. So, stay with me..."

Not that Saeran had been asking to leave.

But right now, even ending this embrace feels too painful.

**Saeran**

Forever... is scary to think about. Saeran had believed in it before, and only ended up hurt.

But.

He wants to have the courage to believe in it again.

To believe that they were fated to find each other no matter what.

"If... there is a benevolent God…"

Questionable.

"Or even if there isn't... I'll face whatever I need to, and protect you from whatever will hurt you... as long as we can always find each other... my brother. My twin... my soulmate. Forever."

And, as he's now a Princess and he's accepted that part of himself, "My hero."

**Saeyoung**

A benevolent god...

When Saeyoung had left, god had been all he'd had to cling to.

His friendships at college - he'd known they'd end from the beginning, thanks to who he was. In fact, thanks to that, every relationship - the RFA, Vanderwood, and others meet along the way...

Every one that entered his life, he accepted, knowing one day it would end, most likely because he would have to end it. He'd resisted that thought the most with the RFA, but underneath every interaction with them, he still knew... one day he'd have to walk away.

The pattern had started with his brother.

But now, only now, he began to feel like maybe, that life really had ended.

And what of God? His belief had been all that kept him alive, at some points. Did he still believe? Under his shirt, he still wears the cross...

Is their reunion a gift from God? Or is it the sign that His son, Luciel, has finally turned his back on God?

Loving his brother like this... holding him like this... kissing him... taking pleasure in his body...

He was a sinner.

But he always had been a sinner. He's known that from birth.

But if God truly exists...

...he hopes He sees that his brother is good, and pure... that he didn't deserve punishment.

(I chose this... I'm the older one.)

_So if you're listening, God..._

_...I accept responsibility for this..._

_... I've accepted it since I was born..._

_... I've accepted it since I first looked at him and realised he was everything I cared about, even when I was small..._

_... I'm a sinner... I know..._

_...but I wouldn't take it back._

_I want this._

It's worth going through Hell... to be with him...

Being called a hero, then, is something of a shock to his thought processes.

"Defender of Justice, 707... haha..."

It's who he wanted to be.

If Saeran can see him like that...

"I'll do my best to be worthy of being called a hero..."

**Saeran**

"You're thinking of something complicated."

Saeran can tell somehow, either from the long pause or simply through the way Saeyoung's energy just seems to change. Or both.

Then there's That Word.

"... I don't think I'm worthy either, but I want to be. That's enough."

**Saeyoung**

"Haha... it feels good knowing you can read me like that..."

And...

"You're worthy... it's impossible not to see, when I look at you... I'll do my best to show you from here on."

He straightens up. "Let's neaten up and head back to the towels." He glances down.

His pants don't look too bad... they’re damp at the knees with a little dirt, but he's still relatively presentable.

A few adjustments, and Saeran looks as lovely as ever.

Taking Saeran's hand, he steps out into the light, and heads them both back to their towels and snacks.

**Saeran**

As reaffirming as it all was, the end of their conversation leaves Saeran feeling unsettled. It makes Saeran wonder...

Does Saeyoung really see him?

Or some ideal version of him, even now?

... and does Saeyoung feel the same way, when Saeran says he loves him...?

It's entirely possible they got so wrapped up in each other, in being loved at long last and no longer alone, that... they only saw what they wanted to see.

Or is it only that neither of them can recognize their true selves?

Saeran hopes it's the latter.

He hopes that he can show Saeyoung that he's just as worthy to Saeran. That's they're equals in all of this, both sinners and saints. As hard as it can be to see it.

Saeyoung had given him a new world, after all. And Saeran wants to do the same.

Come to think of it...

(Hyung didn't take care of himself...)

Somehow Saeran isn't surprised by that, though he knew Saeyoung had lusted for him just as much. It's typical Saeyoung. Always the provider. Always giving. Putting his own needs last.

Saeran knew his twin found pleasure in giving like this, but... still…

They settle back on the towels, and Saeran purposefully cuddles up against his brother. Stroking his side tenderly.

He had wanted Saeyoung to take care of him. Always had. But he doesn't want to be a burden, or to fall back into old habits. Can't he spoil Saeyoung too?

All he wants to be able to do, is give back for a change. To cherish his most precious treasure in earnest, rather than simply sit back and derive pleasure from it.

And in turn, let Saeyoung relax and enjoy himself.

(...it's a bit late now.)

(Later, then.)

But that begs another question.

"When we get back... what would you like to do?"

**Saeyoung**

Sitting on their towels by the shore in the shade of the rock, in their own little bubble, Saeyoung already feels kinda blissed out, but when Saeran cuddles up to him like that, it's all he can do to stop his spirit leaving his body.

And certainly, he's going to want to deal with the pent up energy still unreleased some time today. The energy that has, for now, settled back into the churning space in his chest, which constantly reacts to everything his brother does.

But right now, he's not thinking about that...

He's thinking about what he promised in the car, that he'd show Saeran the thing he thought his twin would love most about the beach...

But... it's not quite time for that yet either.

But his brother's question.

"Oh..."

They've only just been together... a second time in barely 24 hours... He'd... certainly been entertaining some thoughts about that on the way here. But that fear of pushing Saeran raises its head again, so he keeps his answer circumspect.

"Honestly... I'm wishing I'd brought us a change of clothes... so we could stay the night in one of those places..."

He gestures vaguely in the direction of the resorts far off in the distance, where tiny specks play in the water and sip at drinks from tiny shimmers of glassware.

"It didn't even occur to me. I think I should book us some time at one soon..."

Not a lie, but certainly a deflection.

**Saeran**

Saeran hums. He isn't really one for glitz and glamour, but he understands why it might appeal to Saeyoung. Waking up to the beach would be nice too.

There's just one problem: "You're holding back again." The deflection was obvious.

**Saeyoung**

(Yikes)

Is this how it's going to be all the time from now on?

Other than MC, who was absolutely a busybody (in… in a nice way…) any time the RFA had asked him any inconvenient questions, a basic deflection had always been enough.

Which was both handy, but also...

...lonely...

Lonely, that everyone would be so satisfied with the barest of explanations, the most transparent of deflections.

Lonely that they didn't feel like they needed to look any deeper at him.

But. He accepted it. He deserved it.

He still loved them.

But Saeran...

...is never going to think about him like that.

...is always going to look at what lies underneath his brother's words.

...is going to ask those inconvenient questions, but also... not make him feel lonely when he answers them.

He senses mild surprise as his response to Saeran's call-out is to cuddle him back, overwhelmed by affection.

"You really see me, huh..." He turns his head to kiss Saeran's cheek. "I just... well, I had a few thoughts on that, but... well, we've kinda already..."

“I don't want to push that stuff on you. It's better for you to go at a pace that you're comfortable with..."

He turns his head back to stare out into the ocean.

"I know I probably... think too much about that stuff... I... know it kinda bothered you how much I kept... wanting to do things this morning."

His heart sinks. He's filthy. For someone who talks about God... the things he's thought about doing... "I'm sorry you have such a dirty-minded brother... You don't have to indulge me. I know what I am."

**Saeran**

Knowing that he did see through his brother's heart makes Saeran happy, for a brief moment. It eases his prior anxiety about how much they really _saw_ each other.

He had hated how his twin had always covered himself up in the RFA. Despised how his brother had the audacity to claim that he thought he was doing the right thing by abandoning him, blaming someone else.

Loathed the hypocrisy in his self-sacrificial nature, the nobility in belittling himself.

Though no longer inclined to that resentment... Saeran can still recognize that in this, at least, Rika had a point when it came to someone trying to be your white knight. How that had destroyed V, who most definitely passed that mindset onto Saeyoung.

Just like how Saeran feels belittled by it, thanks to Rika.

"... if I didn't know better, I'd think you were mocking me."

 (Though, I called him a hero... I put him in that position, didn't I?)

...

(But I didn't ask to be saved.)

Perhaps that was the problem.

That Saeyoung _had_ to save him.

Now he was forever a damsel in distress in his twin's mind. So of course, Saeyoung knows what's best for him, because clearly Saeran doesn't.

The thought repels Saeran, and he pushes himself up, curling arms around his legs.

Who was he fooling.

He wasn't a Princess at all.

"You think... I'm innocent. That I didn't deserve what had happened to me. That I don't deserve you." For better or for worse. Dirty or clean. Hero or princess or savior or victim.

"You're wrong."

**Saeyoung**

"You didn't!" Saeyoung can't let that part stand.

"You didn't... you didn't deserve it. What happened to you... you didn't, Saeran..."

His hands, dropped from his twin when he shrugged into that unhappy position, drop to his side, subconsciously gripping at the towel.

"You never got to have a say in it... you never had a choice..."

He trails off, suddenly realising what he's saying.

His voice breaks, repeating to himself. "You never... were given a choice..."

"I..."

He was doing it to his twin again, wasn't he?

Just like how he chose to leave Saeran to protect him, without telling him.

Sure, V had told him it was important his brother didn't know. But he also knew if he'd given his brother the choice.

...even if it meant they stayed trapped with their mother...

...Saeran would have wanted Saeyoung to stay

"I keep doing that to you, huh..."

How many times is he going to cry today? He bites his lip. The last thing he wants to do is cry at Saeran on his date. He thinks about his lip, and tries not to blink, not to let himself get lost in that regret.

"I guess I can't just change my bad habits as fast as I wanted..."

He bows his head.

"I'm sorry... I hurt you again."

**Saeran**

Saeran's fingertips itch. Like he wants to scratch and pick at something, or chew, or... or to reach out and hold onto Saeyoung, desperately, and forgive every sin.

Saeran does neither of those things, brushing them through the sand instead. Making marks destined to be erased.

In a sense Saeyoung was right. Saeran wasn't about to deny him his flaws. They weren't something to be washed away with an incoming tide.

This hurt was a familiar hurt.

But it wasn't for Saeyoung to take on that blame, not entirely.

"I love you." He repeats again, because it's the truth, he feels it with every fibre of his being. "So what's hurting me right now... is seeing you hurt yourself."

He turns his eyes back to Saeyoung’s face. Was this expression what his brother saw, when Saeran rejected him?

"A part of that is because of your habit. You're not listening to me, about all the good I see in you. Or... about the truth about the darkness in me."

Slowly, his fingers relax into the sand again, as his determination rises.

"...but I believe you’ll be able to understand me, if you we keep trying."

Because Saeran knows the truth. That most of all, Saeyoung wants him to be genuinely happy and healthy.

"Your words, your actions, aren't driven by an ideal... by some warped desire. It's just... love."

And Saeran can say the same.

(...probably...)

"That's why you think your worst enemy is yourself. That's why you won't listen, and only do what you think best." The tone of Saeran's voice is wondering, as if coming to a revelation.

Wasn't he the same, in some way?

"But... that person is my one and only, too." Finally, he lets his fingers reach out to grasp Saeyoung's tenderly. "Idiot."

They need to see each other through the other's eyes.

He's still too innocent in Saeyoung's, but...

They can work on that.

"Haven't you done things against your will too?"

**Saeyoung**

Instead of punishment, he receives love.

That's amazing enough...

But then his brother seeking out his hand... Saeyoung smiles, dryly. "Why is it that you can call me an idiot, and it still just makes me happy?"

He extends his fingers, taking Saeran's hand fully in his own once more.

"And yes... I’ve done a lot of things like that." He takes comfort in his twin's touch. “Things I had no desire to do at all. Whether directly or indirectly... I've hurt people."

"I also allowed myself to be hurt. Welcomed it, even. Maybe if I hurt enough, it would mean I was suitably punished, so, I could be forgiven…" He mirrors his twin again, unintentionally, pulling his knees to his chest. "It never was. It was never enough. Not for what I did. Not for who I am."

He looks over his shoulder at Saeran. "And… it hurts to think you went through that, too. But... I shouldn't look away from it. I never want to look away from you."

It's too painful... not holding Saeran is too painful...

So he joins Saeran on his blanket, on his knees once more, but this time leaning into his brother, wrapping him in a hug.

"I love you..." he whispers fiercely. "I love you... I don't want to look away. I want to know. Everything. I want to listen."

"I don't want to trap you or me in a role... it... it's not easy... but I want to do it. For both of us. Because... I love you..."

He squeezes Saeran tightly. "And... I'll try to ask you... instead of assuming... even if it's embarrassing... even if it hurts... I'll do my best."

"So... you can tell me what's on your mind, too. And ask me things... I'll probably still stumble. But the more we do it..."

He trails off.

"We've never really talked about it, have we. What our lives were like when we were apart."

"I... admit. I'm scared. To know how bad it was. The reality, not just what I've gathered."

He strokes Saeran's back with his hand, softly. “But I'll listen.”

**Saeran**

To think this all started out of a desire to give something back to Saeyoung. It's ridiculous how such a small thing unearthed such a big issue.

Saeran doesn't laugh.

Because that desire came from somewhere deep within him too.

It would be hypocritical not to share more, to divulge that part of himself when he had asked Saeyoung to do exactly that.

The trouble is finding the words.

"I wasn't a virgin."

... is not a great place to start, but it's the first thing out of his mouth.

"But... I've never been with someone the way I've been with you."

True, if still not quite enough. The memories are blurry, and painful, and difficult to articulate without his lungs contracting and refusing to give him enough air to just... speak.

"Ah... so..."

He can't say it. Not in its entirety, not yet, so Saeran changes tracks. Gets to the real point.

"Rather than taking from you, making you... do things..."

Like a plaything. A toy.

A meaningless sacrifice, for paradise.

"I wanted to make your happy... not be your burden."

**Saeyoung**

Saeran could have fucked a hundred people before Saeyoung, and he wouldn't have judged. It's not like he was in a position to.

It's not exactly that he'd assumed his brother was a virgin... just more that...

...he assumed his brother's desires would be so much less...

...filthy, than his own... because... that's... just how he saw his twin.

The one to be protected. The one who shouldn't have to deal with painful truth. The one who deserved gentleness... who _was_ gentle.

Far more gentle than Saeyoung had ever been.

Saeyoung... has always felt ready to do what he had to. No matter what it was.

And... even then, as children... unlike Saeyoung, his twin had never talked about... erotic dreams... or touching himself...

...something Saeyoung had already started to experiment with before he'd left Saeran. Dreams of closeness... desires... an urge to…

(Though, I… remember… hiding it from him. Going somewhere he wouldn’t see to do it to myself. I remember, I… I…)

Panic seizes him, as his mind touches on something he’s still not ready to face. His thoughts skim over it like the surface of the water, and that hidden thought, that memory, dives deep under the surface once more.

(What was I thinking about…? Saeran… wait, didn’t he say…?)

His memory of last night... words that Saeran had said before. In the heat of passion, Saeyoung hadn’t fully digested them.

He breathes out, shakily, his head on his brother's shoulder.

"'I know what being forced looks like...' you said that to me last night." He strokes Saeran’s back. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I didn't think that through... what you meant."

He pulls Saeran into him, closer. Never close enough. "Saeran... you've had to carry so much on your own..."

**Saeran**

"Don't feel sorry for me."

Saeran had wanted to hurt those people, to control them. He may have been under the influence of the elixr and Rika at the time, but it didn't change that he had been the one to choose that particular method. Using his own sexual urges only to punish and manipulate other believers.

The urges he has towards Saeyoung are different. This love of theirs is different.

For Saeyoung to understand that, it meant knowing that history. To see that Saeran wasn't pure, and more than once had acted out on his vices.

Apparently, seeing how Saeran had lashed out violently at him, V, the whole RFA, wasn't enough to convince Saeyoung his twin wasn’t only gentle inside.

There was a part of Saeran not gentle at all.

"... I hurt people. Just like you."

For Saeyoung to assume otherwise... was wilful blindness.

And for Saeyoung to want his brother to only take from him, was more damaging than Saeran had realized. Even if it was born from concern of pushing Saeran into something he supposedly didn't want.

In the end it would keep them apart.


	11. Fingerprints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang Talk About Kinks and Consent. 
> 
> Then Saeyoung finally gets to show Saeran the thing he'd guessed would be his twin's favourite thing about the beach.
> 
> But of course, just as they're having a great time, things go south again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, multiple chapters today~ I'm feeling sick so I might as well do something I can zone out with, like editing transcripts, haha.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung pulls back, so he can rest his forehead on Saeran's.

"I'm starting to see... there's a lot I still don’t know... but I'm starting to see a little..."

It wasn't for all the right reasons, but...

"I think it's good, though, that I've been worried about pushing you. But... I'll try to talk about it with you, rather than just making that decision myself and holding back."

He straightens up, so that he can see Saeran's face again. "So... in the spirit of that..."

He wonders just how weird he’s about to make things. But. Saeran shared something, so he should do the same. Let Saeran decide what he wants to do about it.

"There's... some things I enjoy doing, as an intimate act... and some things I've never done, but would like to... that could be crossing a line, for you."

"That's part of what I've worried about... but... as we go... I can.... talk to you about them. And see how you feel about them. And if you want to try some of it... then we can."

"And if you don't want to do them... it won’t change my love for you, or my desire to be intimate with you, or my affection for you... so I always want you to know, you can say no to me."

He winces. "I mean... try not to push my head into the coffee table when you do..."

He chuckles, in case Saeran is concerned he's upset about that. "You were justified then though. I touched you without your consent. It doesn't matter that I wanted to hold you. You hadn't said it was okay."

His eyes are serious. "I won't do that to you again."

"I want you to be able to trust me."

He shifts, a little awkwardly. "So I'll try to answer you truthfully about that stuff when you ask from now on. J-just... know that... you don't... have to... do anything I think about..."

He's going red. "Everyone has their kinks."

**Saeran**

Rather than mollified, Saeran is mortified at the subject of the table coming up again. Even if Saeyoung laughs about it. The issue with that wasn't that he didn't want Saeyoung's touch. Just…

These topics are all very new territory for Saeran. His twin makes sense, though.

If that was to be the case...

"...I want to be able to do those things with you."

Not run away in a panic because he doesn't know what to do with genuine love and affection. Let alone allow it.

He’s already hooked on the intimate moments they’ve shared so far. He wants more.

"I want to hear what you like." Especially now Saeyoung's red face has made him curious. "...and if it's too much, then I promise to let you know."

If Saeyoung needs a pinky promise on that, then so be it.

Saeran holds out his pinky.

**Saeyoung**

Just...

Just like they used to...

Saeyoung joins his pinky with his brother's and laughs.

"Ahahaha... I'm not laughing at you... I'm laughing... that we just pinky swore about my kinks... God... I really love you, Saeran. I love you so much."

**Saeran**

"Ah... here I thought we were pinky swearing about the importance of communication with trust and consent." Saeran muses a little dryly, just as entertained when Saeyoung puts it _that_ way.

It alleviates the tension, just a little.

"I love you too. So-"

In this moment it would be fair to be fooled into thinking Saeran was his cute, gentle self. Willing to leave things at peace.

"-tell me already!"

That would be a mistake.

**Saeyoung**

"Pffft..."

At least the moment has relaxed him a little, both from his earlier arousal, and their conflict.

He doesn't feel... too weird about it now.

Well.

Less weird.

"It might take a while to tell you about everything I'm interested in." Saeyoung grins, now in a conspiratorial mood. "There's a lot I find intriguing."

"I'd enjoy... some of the more common things I'd like... being blindfolded... wearing a collar, or other fetish stuff... voyeurism... but showing off, too… dressing up… roleplaying… pushing you against a wall and just..."

Going red again.

" I'd also enjoy... you doing that to me... playing with me... not letting me come... I... like to be in control but just as much... I enjoy letting go of control..."

His twin has done nothing -- but listen quietly, which...

"I... that's a start... I can't just... reveal it all in one go, haha... we should experiment over time... ah..."

He's sweating.

"W-we... can explore that more in private, maybe. It's a lot to just talk about it just. Out in public like this."

**Saeran**

For a moment Saeran is tempted to push Saeyoung down and have his way with him, exploring each option then and there and never mind this was a very public beach.

It's not as if either of them had much of an audience, other than each other.

But he'd want Saeyoung's consent.

He also knew that he was unlikely to get it, with how clearly uncomfortable his twin was getting. Saeran... wasn't exactly immune either, cheeks turning pinker with every detail.

How many thoughts had he had today, along the very same lines Saeyoung was listing? Saeyoung might as well have read his mind.

"...we really are twins."

It makes Saeran all the more curious and bold, as if balancing out Saeyoung's embarrassment.

"I'd be interested in seeing how that all can take on a different meaning with you, later..."

What would it feel like, with an equal he loved?

The thought makes him smile.

**Saeyoung**

'Later'... and with that _smile_ too...

This blush isn't going anywhere fast.

Speaking of which...

"I... I should also let you know... that... just because I'm embarrassed... even if I look away... doesn't mean I'm not having fun... or that I want you to stop..."

He pauses, trying to put his finger on the right words to say.

"If I don't want something, I'll tell you clearly." He considers. "Things, like: 'I don't like having my ear nibbled.' or 'I don't want you to touch that right now.'"

He grins. "I _do_ like having my ear nibbled, by the way."

"But there are some things I might like sometimes, that don't feel good other times. I'm sure you're the same."

He drags one hand through the sand, enjoying the sensation of the grains through his fingers. "And I would like you to tell me the same way, if you don't like something I do. I've been trying to do that for you... making my own judgements on those things... thinking I was looking out for you."

He laughs softly to himself.

"That was dumb. You're right. I can't just make assumptions. Even if it means an awkward conversation."

"But... what I wanted to make clear was... if I'm blushing... or unable to look at you... it doesn't mean you did something wrong... or that I'm ashamed of what we're doing..."

He looks up - still blushing.

"It just means... I'm feeling so much, I'm shy. Or maybe I want to say more, but I'm not sure I have the courage to be that daring yet."

He draws a spiral in the sand, linking the two of them together at each end. "I know I'm the louder one... the one who put on the confident face most of the time..."

He taps the centre of the spiral, like he's completing a spell.

"But... sometimes I really _want_ to be embarrassed... I _want_ to feel a little out of control... because, it's fun..."

His voice lowers. "And... sometimes pain can be like that, too. Like when I feel your teeth on my skin..."

He bites his lip, but not out of an attempt to hold back tears. He's experiencing an altogether different feeling right now, thinking about his twin... and his mouth.

"Sometimes a little pain... can feel really, really good. So... don't... feel like you have to stop, even if I yelp... or if my eyes are watering...heh..." He smiles at his own design, pleased with the winding, asymmetrical pattern that links their legs together. "I'll tell you. I'll always tell you. And please, tell me."

He looks up at Saeran again. "I hope that's not more than you wanted, haha. Once I let myself open that door, I just found so many words I wanted to say..."

He brushes the sand off his fingers. "While I've... had some encounters... I've never been in a serious relationship. I never even let myself think about it, given my work. So.. until now... a lot of this stuff... I've never had to fully work it out before, either."

He rests the back of his hand against Saeran's jaw. "I'm glad it's you... I'm glad... you're the one..."

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's hand is still a bit grainy, but Saeran leans his cheek against it anyway. Warm from his blush.

It is a lot. And he feels a little spoiled, like given a walkthrough for a game that takes all the surprise and discovery out of it.

But this isn't a game.

Hearing what Saeyoung likes is much more important. It isn't some mystery to be solved, but rather... a heart being bared.

And ...

(It'll still be fun to see how he reacts...)

Being able to experience it for himself, hands on... Saeran won't ever get over that.

Curious and more than a little piqued after Saeyoung's extended kinky confession, Saeran tilts his mouth into Saeyoung's hand and kisses it gently.

"We'll work it out together."

Then, just to check... he nips lightly before drawing back. Watching Saeyoung's reaction. "It's not so bad if we kept a little spontaneity, is it?"

Saeran's words are shy--he's divulging his own wants now. But his eyes are light and playful.

"I haven't thought a lot about my own interests, but... I like what you have in mind."

In fact... "I enjoyed hearing about it. I like... hearing these things."

He hopes it isn't too awkward to admit that a serious conversation had made him a little hot and bothered, no matter the content.

Saeran glances down to the sand, taking a second to admire the pattern Saeyoung had drawn as he does, then back to Saeyoung.

"As long as we check how we're feeling right away, it's fine?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung can't hide his immediate response to that light graze of Saeran's teeth - not that he tries to. He gives his twin a sly half-smile.

 

"Oh - I like spontaneity. I like it a _lot_."

He... after all that, he has the urge to... It shows in his eyes, even if he doesn't go through with it. For now.

"And most of the time, we'll probably be fine to just go with things... it's just important we have this conversation so that when things do get messy, we have something solid to fall back on without guilt..."

He leans forward, the playful look in his eyes impossible to ignore.

"Speaking of which..."

The late afternoon light casts interesting shadows over his twin's face... he...

Oh.

OH.

"Ahhhh!!" he suddenly gasps, making them both jump. "The fingerprints!!! You have to see!"

He rolls back onto his own towel. "We gotta take off our shoes for this."

He starts tugging at his own, loosening the laces and slipping them off with his socks. Saeran has a much easier time of it, standing barefoot to watch his older brother frantically finish pulling off his last sock.

Saeyoung stands and grabs Saeran's hands. "This way! You're going to love it!"

And he leads Saeran rapidly to the shore.

"The water's a little cold, but, we can just wade in to our ankles..." he says. "Sorry to make your feet wet, but it's more fun this way."

They step in - a little past their ankles, but still lower than the hem of Saeran's dress. Saeyoung has his pants rolled up - they're definitely going to need a wash after today.

"Okay..." Saeyoung breathes, tense with anticipation. "It's coming... here's the thing I wanted to show you... that I immediately thought about..."

They stand staring out across the horizon a minute, and -

\- and then the sky blossoms with colour, lazy beams of orange, mauve and pink reaching up into the heavens... and then the reflection carries all the way across the water to their feet. The waves look like they’re made of a beautiful metal, and when you combine both the sea and the sky…

Saeyoung grins. "I'm glad it was cloudy today, that always makes for a good show... but see? It's a beautiful flower that opens up over the water every night! And every flower, every day is different!"

He squeezes Saeran's hand. "I wanted to show you this so much... this unique bloom. This one's our first... we'll never see one like it again." He leans against his twin, enjoying the warmth of his body in contrast with the cool water around his feet.

"This one is ours..."

**Saeran**

The way Saeyoung describes the sight is perfect. Saeran is spellbound by the sky’s fingerprint for a long moment, absorbing every aspect into his very core. From the chill of the water swirling around his feet, the heat of his brother, and the awe stretching out along the sky... to him.

Then when Saeyoung says it's their first...

Saeran realizes can't just stand by and let it pass.

He takes his cellphone out of his pocket, careful not to drop it in the water, and glances sidelong at his twin.

"Can we take a picture...?"

**Saeyoung**

It's a perfect idea.

"Yeah... yeah!!"

A quick fiddle with the settings...

(Maybe I should get a selfie stick like Zen...)

And they snap a shot against the sunset, the beauty preserved forever in zeroes and ones.

Saeran takes a couple shots, and then a few of the sunset - on its own - which is when Saeyoung pulls out his own phone and -

"Mwah!"

He smooches Saeran on the cheek, careful not to startle him into dropping his phone, while taking a shot of them together.

He looks down at the screen.

Saeran's expression is priceless.

**Saeran**

Saeran's expression is R E D, in the way that only those flustered yet pleased can be.

"Hyung!!" He protests, caught off guard, "What if I dropped my phone?"

 (... it can't be helped.)

(He needs to be taught a lesson.)

Safely pocketing his phone and pretending to rub his cheek - though to be fair, it was a sloppy kind of kiss --

Saeran turns and kicks up some water at Saeyoung, not at all caring about how his skirt lifts when he does.

SURPRISE ATTACK!!

**Saeyoung**

Shoving his own phone into his pocket, Saeyoung chuckles damply. "Oh? A wild DATE appeared! They used SPLASH attack!!"

"What will SAEYOUNG do?"

He sidles up to his twin.

And -

\- grabs his sides, tickling him mercilessly.

"SAEYOUNG used TORMENT!"

He knows his brother may not be across the reference, but he's clever, and will see the shape of it even without the context.

Plus, his brother IS aware that Saeyoung is a hopeless dork, so.

**Saeran**

Saeran isn't _completely_ oblivious. He knows about dating games - he _definitely_ knows of Pikamon!!

Not that it matters, because as expected Saeyoung's attack is SUPER EFFECTIVE. Saeran gasps and laughs and splashes around some more in the struggle to get away!

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung is getting even damper, but he doesn't care. Finally ceasing his torment, the hands on his brother's waist stop tickling and instead hold Saeran firmly...

...pulling his twin close once more...

...Saeran panting slightly, still recovering from his own response to those unfair fingers finding all his weak points...

Saeyoung draws him into a kiss, wrapping his arms around his twin once more, then, as they part.

"Hey... let me try something... hold still a sec..."

...he gently lifts his twin a few inches into the air.

"Haha... I knew I could do it!" he says, proudly, grateful yet again for all the training he's been put through over the years.

This means if he wants, he really could sweep Saeran off his feet...

He lowers Saeran down a bit and grins. "Good to know..."

**Saeran**

Breathless from all the tickling as well as the kiss, Saeran didn't exactly have time to protest.

He gives Saeyoung a dour look once set back down. Like all siblings, he doesn't exactly enjoy being messed with.

Or... grabbed at and flung around in general.

He purses his lips, and hugs himself. Chilled from the water and not getting any warmer as the sun set. "It better be." He says, because if it really was just to harass him then Saeran was going to draw a line.

You never did know when it'd be useful to carry someone though.

Just as he's about to suggest they head back to shore, fun over, Saeran is interrupted.

By his stomach. Saeran only had a candy bar in the car after all, and they never got around to eating the rest of their snacks. He was so used to just ignoring the gnawing hunger in his stomach too.

He... goes red, as it growls a second time.


	12. Shamless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Smut begins in the last third of this chapter! Dun dun dun!**
> 
>  
> 
> The twins return home, and Saeran is determined to show Saeyoung just how not-pure he is, and that he wants his twin just as much.

**Saeyoung**

Noticing the mood drop, Saeyoung makes a mental note to himself to add "carrying Saeran" to the "THINGS YOU GOTTA ASK ABOUT FIRST" list. (Still so much to learn...)

Although being hungry probably wasn't helping his twin's buffer for playing around.

He takes Saeran's hand. "We should eat!"

They walk back to their towels, rubbing the sand off their feet.

"Wanna go to one of the restaurants over there? Or we could drive a tiny bit further... there's a few nice places closer to the mountains too."

**Saeran**

Saeran shrugs. He really doesn't have an opinion on the matter. What he does care about is getting dry - especially with the sun going down.

"... let's drive. We can put the heater on."

**Saeyoung**

The two of them make quick work of their beachside spot, shaking out the towels and packing everything up again.

And while the beach is beautiful, it's nice to relax into designer car seats and enjoy modern conveniences like heaters again.

Saeyoung takes them somewhere he’d spotted on the way to the beach, a nice-looking place, but not too fancy that his scuffed pants will be an issue.

Their meal is served quickly and eaten almost as quickly, the two beginning to _really_ feel their hunger once the cooking smell hit their noses. Both let the meal be a space for peaceful quiet, for the most part, given the full andemotional day they've already experienced.

It's nice just to be together, sharing tasty food, listening to the people and staff around them, looking out the restaurant window as the stars slowly become visible in the darkening sky.

And then, they head homewards, pulling into the garage with a faint sense of relief to be home, despite how fun the day was.

**Saeran**

It certainly has left Saeran exhausted, but the good kind of exhausted where he's tired but happy and ready to just wind down doing something relatively low-key once they get home.

The car trip and food helped with recovery though - a space to simply relax.

It's thanks to that Saeran has a bit of a second wind once they arrive, ansty and very ready to get out of the wig and the dress and remove all the make-up caking his face.

As interesting as it was to be dressed up this way, and good to know he could get away with it...(I want to be in my own skin again.)

As soon as they enter the garage, he's removing the wig carefully and running a hand through his hair with a sigh.

**Saeyoung**

(He looks like he's ready to drop to the couch already...)

His earlier fantasy comes back again...

"Hey... Saeran..." Saeyoung comes up from behind him, taking the wig gently out of his hand and placing it neatly on the roof of the car. He can clean and brush it later.

He leans his face onto Saeran's shoulder from behind and asks softly... "Hey... it's okay if it's a no... but... could I try carrying you inside? I wanna..."

He touches the small of Saeran's back lightly, careful to not do anything that would restrict his movement. "I wanna sweep your off your feet like in a movie..."

**Saeran**

... so that's what it was about?

Saeran is tempted to say no, if only to spite Saeyoung.

But it really is such an insignificant thing compared to any other request Saeyoung could make, and this time at least he asks properly.

(Unlike when he knocked me out at the hospital.)

It's still difficult not to hold a bit of resentment over that, even if Saeran can admit it was ultimately better for him in the long run.

(Who does like getting swept up suddenly, anyway.)

Probably a lot of people, seeing as Saeyoung was right. It was common in movies.

Saeran just had associations with it that were far less benign.

In spite of that...

He turns around to face his twin, searching Saeyoung's face briefly.

(There it is...)

Adoration and consideration in equal amounts, with a dash of desire.

It changed things.

This time it won't be against his will. And... they can have a happy ending, just like the movies.

That's what Saeyoung wants, isn't it?

And Saeran does want to give that to his twin just as badly.

"Alright." He replies, after some deliberation.

**Saeyoung**

"Ah!" Saeyoung replies, looking as excited as a puppy who's just seen a family member walk by a window on their return home. "Then! Just a second!"

He sprints over to the door from the garage to the rest of the house, unlocking it. Good thing it swings inwards from here.

The last thing he'd want is to get stuck halfway.

As far as he's concerned, the association with carrying is one of caring and affection - lost in the moment and his day-long fantasies... although he does file away Saeran's slight hesitance for thinking more on later. But right now he just sees the love of his life, tired, and beautiful.

"Okay," he says. "Leave this to me."

He lowers down, then, and gently places a hand behind Saeran's butt, the other then lightly finding position under his knees. Then in a single, clean movement, he stands, bringing Saeran up with him.

He's proud at how smoothly he does it.

"Heh... you still smell like the ocean," he says, enjoying feeling Saeran's full weight in his arms. "Let's get you to the shower, then," Saeyoung continues, knowing that feeling all too well of pores being trapped under makeup all day.

He walks carefully to the door, pushing it open with one leg, then keeping it open with his butt as he carefully turns to bring Saeran inside.

(It's also nice having his face this close to mine... a different intimacy to if we were lying side by side, or sitting...)

He gently makes his way to the shower, cheerfully, quietly narrating his way. "Oh... over the shoes... there we go... and then this corner..."

**Saeran**

Being carried willingly is a very different experience than being hauled off to who knows where. A part of Saeran is still somewhat alarmed though, and he clutches at Saeyoung _just in case_.

Not that he doesn't trust his brother, but he trusts himself and sturdy wires more.

Once the apprehension subsides Saeran is fine though, and even enjoys the weightless feeling being carried provides.

The best part of all though...

(...he's so cute.)

Seeing his brother so cheerful is worth it. Alas, it's over with quickly. The distance to the bathroom isn't exactly huge.

**Saeyoung**

It seems like it went okay. And that's enough. Saeyoung got to do The Thing, to him a gesture of love, and at the very least Saeran didn't _dislike_ it...

He gently squats back down, letting Saeran's legs return to the ground, supporting him until he was fully upright. "I'll go unpack everything and start on a laundry pile," Saeyoung says, smiling. "I figured you might enjoy some alone time for a bit, though, to unwind and relax… but just sing out if you get lonely and want any company in here…”

**Saeran**

It was nice of Saeyoung to accommodate him. Something Saeran didn't always appreciate. Sometimes even finding it annoying.

Right now he just nods... before giving Saeyoung a quick kiss.

It was still a novelty to be able to do that. Saeran enjoys it every time.

Still, there are things that need to be done.

"Don't miss me too much..."

And he hadn't missed how eager Saeyoung sounded when he asked Saeran to call for him. Not that Saeran could fault his twin. Being apart for even a short while...

Saeran missed him already too.

**Saeyoung**

First up: off with all his salt-encrusted clothing. He'll shower soon, but switches to another pair of underwear anyway, just for comfort while he sorts things out.

It's likely they'll be sleeping together most nights, but either way Saeran's bedsheets need a wash... as do the pillows. So he starts a load of washing, with another pile ready to go after that. Good thing their water pressure won't drop for Saeran in the shower - another thing they'd both been used to experiencing at unpleasant moments as kids.

But not here.

He unpacks the car quickly and deposits his earlier sneaky lube purchase from the pharmacy in his bedroom.

Next, he gently cleans the wig off, spritzing it with some special conditioning spray.

(This feels nice... just... putting everything in place).

When it was just him living alone... he never did more than the bare minimum.

But now he starts to sing softly to himself - something cute and silly and full of puns - and gets things In Order.

Hmmm... Maybe Saeran would like a hot chocolate when he finishes showering. Saeyoung rattles around the kitchen, pulling out the necessary items.

And if he didn't want it, Saeyoung will happily drink both.

**Saeran**

While Saeyoung potters around like a Disney Princess, Saeran showers. It feels almost like a ritual - stripping away an outer layer worn for the world, and baring his inner self for their own private sphere.

There was much more makeup and sand than anticipated.

Leaving the shower feeling fresh, Saeran doesn't go to Saeyoung right away - moving to his room instead to finally put on his own clothes. He pauses when he sees the sheets gone from his bed. Puzzled for a moment.

(That's right, we...)

Inhaling, Saeran catches the faint scent of sex still hanging in the air.

It causes him to flush, body reacting to the reminder of just what they'd done in here the evening before.

What they’d done together, for the first time...

(... but not the last.)

Thinking about it makes his heart race.

(Actually, hasn't it been too long since then?)

At least for Saeyoung. He must be pent up from all the touching and flirting today, without release.

(That won't do.)

Somewhat invigorated now, Saeran finishes up dressing and putting things away before going to find Saeyoung in the kitchen.

Determined.

... up until the point he smells cocoa, which makes Saeran falter. A very different desire rising.

(... we can take a moment for that.)

**Saeyoung**

He senses his twin almost immediately.

Saeyoung turns, tiny whisk and mug in hand, leaning back a little on the counter behind him. "Wanna hot chocolate?"

For someone still slightly salt encrusted and very much in a pair of dorky boxers, he still manages a debonair smile. The still-styled hair helps.

Then he takes in the sight of his brother. Looking like he normally did, although the small smile on his face is a more recent phenomenon.

"Oh... it's nice to see you!" he blurts out, unthinking.

Both in that even their short separation was felt, and also. It's nice to see Saeran's face again. Just Saeran.

He was still Saeran, no matter what he wore, but. His brother's face, without affectation or decoration.

He’s truly happy to see it again.

**Saeran**

As stunning as Saeyoung is that way, Saeran zeroes in on the hot chocolate. He can look at his brother whenever. Hot chocolate is a more temporary pleasure liable to get cold.

(... did I really just think that?)

There's no guilt, just amazement. He's finally returned to the point where he can instinctively trust his brother will always be there.

Saeran wraps his hands around the mug left out for him, basking in the warmth of both the drink and that feeling.

Just what was his brother saying about seeing him though?

"I've always been here." Saeran points out, taking a sip from his drink. Enjoying the way its sweetness filled his mouth and spread down into his core. "You should know... you were the one that transformed me."

Now he was back to his plain self. How Saeyoung could prefer him this way is still a mystery, but... Saeran wasn't about to complain. or put himself down more than he had to. If only for Saeyoung's sake.

And at least for a little bit, he saw something beautiful in his own features too.

**Saeyoung**

"Nothing I can create can match or surpass what you are on your own," Saeyoung replies warmly, gratified by his brother's expression as he sips at the hot chocolate. "You looked gorgeous like that. But you're always gorgeous."

He's not even trying to flatter or flirt with his words. He states them like he sees them. Matter of fact.

With a touch of pride, maybe.

"If today's outfit helped you see that even a little, though... I'm happy. I hope over time you can see it more and more. All the time."

He smiles, but then - "Ugh!! Marshmallows!" He dives into a nearby cupboard, returning with a half-empty bag.

"I forgot to add them before... e-heh..." He holds out the bag to Saeran sheepishly.

**Saeran**

Saeran looks at the marshmallows.

He looks at Saeyoung.

"You're marshmallow enough."

Truthfully the hot chocolate is perfect on its own, but he isn't lying about Saeyoung's sweet softness either. Once he had used the term in a rather derogatory way, to refer to himself... but the fact was, there was nothing wrong with marshmallows. They were great, as a food and as a person.

(I really have come far.)

They both have. Saeyoung had his own, less obvious edginess as well.

It's nice to take the time to appreciate it.

Sidling up to Saeyoung, Saeran leans against him gently.

"...you should take a shower when you're done too."

Seeing Saeyoung mussed up like this wasn't bad, but that part of their day way over.

Now...

"I'll wait for you."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung turns his head, but the way his brother is leaning against him, he can't see his face. But gets the feeling that look...the one he's glimpsed so briefly behind his brother's clear green eyes before...is back on his face again.

(I wonder if my eyes do that, too...) That look that shows Saeyoung there's still just so much to discover within his brother.

He's like the ocean, Saeyoung realizes...

... then he pictures a marshmallow floating on the surface of the waves, and cracks a grin despite himself.

He finishes his hot chocolate, maybe a little faster than was strictly healthy.

He wants to see just what's waiting for him in the depths.

"Okay. I'll be quick!" he promises, pecking Saeran on the cheek (anything more and he won't leave) and heading out to the shower.

**Saeran**

Meanwhile, Saeran takes his time truly savoring the flavor of the chocolate.

Now where should he wait...? It might be fun to do something like hide and seek, and make Saeyoung look for him like when they were children.

But Saeran always found that hiding was a little boring.

On the other hand, simply going to Saeyoung's bedroom would be too obvious and just as bland.

(Or, maybe...)

(Yeah.)

(That should be good.)

For all Saeran has settled and become more gentle, harmless little shocks were still plenty entertaining for him.

Quietly and carefully masking his presence, Saeran gets ready.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung lets the water wash everything away

His thoughts.

The salt.

The sand.

(How... does it always get there?!)

If he closes his eyes, he can almost hear the ocean in the sound of the shower.

It's tempting to stand there a lot longer... but Saeran clearly had invited him to do something... and making him wait longer than necessary was unacceptable.

When he steps out of the shower and towels himself off, he looks into the mirror and tries brushing his hair backwards the way Saeran had in their last shower, his hand, for a second, feeling just a little... like his twin's.

A small twinkle at his ear in his reflection catches his eye.

Ah...

It's the first time he's seen it in a proper mirror and not the hand-held one at the pharmacy.

It's still a little pink around the piercing, but nothing to worry about. It looks good.

Normally the phrase is ‘to have your heart on your sleeve,’ but ‘a star on the ear’ feels right for Saeyoung.

They might not know it, but this way, he's showing his affection for his brother to anyone he meets.

Smiling at the sight of the piercing, he wraps a towel around his waist - not entirely necessary per se, but, it's a habit now - and leaves the bathroom to head to his bedroom to change.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung barely steps out of the bathroom before Saeran accosts him.

Quite literally, hurdling into him and wrapping arms tight around his waist.

He may have waited just outside the bathroom door.

"Boo!"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung jumps, totally oblivious to what had been waiting for him just outside the door.

"GAH!!" he manages to choke out before his brain catches up with what's happening.

"Oh my god..." he laughs, adrenaline spike dropping him into dizzy relief. "You're stealthy..."

**Saeran**

Saeran echoes Saeyoung's laughter, but it sounds far more smooth and pleased.

"Gotcha." His voice is smug. Arms still firmly locked around his twin’s waist. "I did warn you I'd be waiting. What were you thinking?”

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung is still coming back down to earth, after being shocked halfway to the moon at least by the unexpected - but welcome embrace.

Saeran has him.

There’s no way he's wriggling out of those arms.

Not that he wants to.

And no way he's escaping those eyes.

Never.

As his mind returns to earth, he stares into them, the patterns that match his own, despite the change in colour...

"What I'm thinking...?" he repeats, processing the conversation in reverse.

(Oh... what did I think when he said he'd be waiting...)

Well... there had been that feeling... like Saeran was planning something.

"I..."

"I wasn't sure before, but I'm starting to get more of an idea now, I think..."  he says, the barest hint of coyness creeping into his tone.

**Saeran**

"Oh?" Saeran prompts, not about to let Saeyoung get away with being vague.

There's something in his eyes again. He's plotting something.

Something maybe to do with how he's slowly stepping forward, making Saeyoung back against the wall.

**Saeyoung**

It seems like Saeran is taking a lot of pleasure in his capture of his twin, and it's catching.

Saeyoung's coy tone gets a little throatier. He...

...enjoys being caught...

And if Saeran will enjoy his admission, he's more than happy to make it. "I'm starting to think... you've been waiting to push me up against a wall and have your way with me..." he replies, feeling very aware of that towel around his waist.

His voice becomes more playful. "What should I do?"

**Saeran**

Bingo.

Saeyoung hits the bullseye, but Saeran isn't even mad at being so transparent.

He has his brother right where he wants him after all.

And Saeyoung is just as see-through.

"You tell me." He replies, purposefully obtuse as a hand curves down Saeyoung's back to the towel. It would be easy enough to ravish Saeyoung like this.

In fact, it seems Saeyoung would really like him to.

But Saeran wants to make Saeyoung talk. Describe with that sly tongue just what he thinks Saeran 'intends', and how he'll succumb...

**Saeyoung**

The tension in the air is palpable.

Saeran is so close to him, Saeyoung can smell the hot chocolate on his breath.

It'll be even sweeter tasting it from his brother's mouth.

...Saeyoung's got that half-smile creeping onto his face again.

(I'm more than happy to play this game with you... my love...)

"You can start by ditching that towel," Saeyoung purrs, arching his hips against the hand Saeran's already sliding down his waist.

"Might as well expose me to your eyes now, than give me any remaining chance at decency... besides, I want to feel your eyes on my body..."

**Saeran**

So he wasn't going to keep playing innocent?

Probably for the best, that might get uncomfortable fast. And Saeyoung wasn't the type to keep that up for long anyway...

Not when he could bask in attention.

"You're so shameless." Saeran remarks, but not as an insult. Rather, it's said in the way that only lovers can - darkly delighted in how wanton their partner can be, just for them.

Besides, it's not as if Saeran can talk.

"You can feel more than just my eyes... I want to touch every part of you."

Deftly, he removes the towel - letting it drop to the floor as he steps closer, barefaced in how his eyes roam Saeyoung’s body as his hands come to rest on his brother’s waist.

But he doesn't do more.

His twin needs to ask for it.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung holds back a grin at how well Saeran is playing this game.

This mixture of play and lewdness is _exactly_ the kind of thing that sparks his creative side.

The contrast in vulnerability... Saeyoung, completely naked, and Saeran, still fully clothed, is appealing as well.

Some of Saeran's clothes might need to come off... or at least be adjusted later. But for now, the disparity between them was just another delightful part of the scene.

Although nothing is more pleasurable than seeing his twin admire his body.

"Yes..." he agrees, back against the wall, "I'm shameless... wanting you to look at me like this... wanting you..."

He arches again, against those hands on his waist, which is a considerably more R-rated movement now that the towel is gone.

He's already starting to get hard, but it's going to be a little while yet before he's interested in directing any attention there other than his twin's gaze.

He wants to ache. And...

He wants to feel just a little danger. "Do you have your phone on you?"

Saeran IS pleased to see him, but he ALSO has a phone in his pocket.

"Good. Then..." He tilts his head back, like he's posing on the front cover of an indie album that is absolutely getting a censor sticker stuck over it in any public-facing store.

"...take a photo, so I can see just how shameless I look right now. It's a dangerous thing for both of us to have something like that on your phone. Don't delete it until we're done. Unless you want to keep it after that... it's your phone, after all."

A coy smile. "I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnnd the last two chapters are basically all smut. Look forward to those going up tomorrow~
> 
> And then it'll be onto the next plot arc with the next fic - the group date, which is. It's really fun. You Won't Believe What Happens Next.


	13. Closer than ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran takes an incriminating photo of Saeyoung, then challenges him to call a member of the RFA while Saeran touches him mercilessly.
> 
> _Something about the threat of his brother leaking the pic, out of a desire to manipulate him... out of wanting him that much..._
> 
> _...it's not healthy, but GOD is it a turn-on._
> 
> Cw: use of derogatory language at a few points, nothing too full-on though

**Saeran**

The request is beyond shameless.

"...I never would've imagined you'd turn out to be such a pervert."

But Saeran is into it. More than anything it's the trust that turns him on, knowing he had a photo that could ruin his brother if he leaked it. And it would likely be him who leaked it, even if there was always a chance someone could access his phone. It was so well locked that even Saeyoung would have difficulty getting in. Every app individually secured.

Either way, there was a thrill of danger. Despite his common sense, his fear and anxiety of being found out... chances are they'd be fine. And there was always the option of running away.

He takes the photo.

"You're obscene," he remarks throatily, reviewing the shot.

Obscene in only the best way, of course. Saeran won’t be deleting this picture. Not when it's too tempting to be able to look at Saeyoung like this whenever he wanted to... Needing Saeran, looking back at him like a debauched whore...

He turns his phone to show Saeyoung the screen.

"See? If the RFA saw this..." It's an idle thread, totally meaningless. Saeran only says it because he still remembers the conversation they had this morning, about how they'd react if they knew Saeyoung sometimes chatted while naked.

"It'll probably end up worse than disapproval." They'd know Saeran would have taken the photo too. That Saeyoung looked this way, just for him.

_Only_ at him.

For a moment Saeran allows himself that fantasy. Laying bare everything and damn the consequences, making very clear just who Saeyoung belonged to.

(You’re mine… no one else can have you like this.)

(Mine… you’re like this, because of _me._ )

**Saeyoung**

Words Saeran could once have said to him cruelly have become words that only excite Saeyoung further.

It's another form of intimacy...

...one that requires trust on both their parts.

Trust, on Saeyoung's part, that Saeran won't just shut down, disgusted by him. Will let him know if things get too much.

Trust on Saeran's part that Saeyoung will understand his intentions in playing along, that doing so won't cause _Saeyoung_ to shut down. And that his twin will re-assert himself lovingly if he does get overwhelmed.

So, Saeran calling him a pervert only makes his lips part further and his eyes sparkle with pleasure. He trusts Saeran. But what is also exciting is that if Saeran decided to break that trust... in the heat of this moment...

Saeyoung wouldn't care.

And that's also thrilling. Knowing his desire for his twin is that powerful.

Sure, when clearer heads prevailed he'd be upset - but he trusts his brother. So it's an intellectual thrill he can entertain without drawbacks.

And something about the idea of his brother leaking the pic, out of a desire to manipulate him... out of wanting him that much...

...it's not healthy, but GOD is it a turn-on.

"Mm~" he agrees easily with Saeran's loving accusations. "When it's you... I can't control this part of myself..."

Then he sees the photo of himself pressed against the wall, eyes half-lidded, neck exposed... along with everything else.

There's no mistaking what's going on in that picture. No way it can be excused as an accidental shot taken as he left the shower. He's clearly eating up the attention.

He remembers reading somewhere that people who like you take much better photos of you. If that’s true, Saeran must _really_ like him. The shot looks _good_. If Saeyoung wasn't so turned on right now he'd consider, amused, how it would have come out if Jumin took it, but that thought dies before it begins when he has his brother in front of him like this, taunting him.

Saying things about what the RFA would think... "You're right," Saeyoung croons, smiling back at his twin and the photo on his screen. "They'd know I was a filthy pervert turned on by the idea of fucking his brother."

Their love is real. He knows Saeran knows this, too.

(But also.)

He can't deny his desires are dark ones. Things not suitable for public display. What distress they'd react with if they knew.

And the power of all that is now in Saeran's hands. "Guess I'm truly at your mercy now, my love..." he murmurs. "So come pin me against the wall and kiss me... this hopelessly addicted brother who is completely under your control... who wants you so, so fucking badly..."

**Saeran**

Saeran hadn't thought about his words too deeply, or the emotions behind them. They came out naturally, another form of play than anything else.

But Saeyoung is right in thinking that required a lot of intrinsic trust for Saeran to use them as he did.

To have it reciprocated... It makes his face heat as much as Saeyoung's affirmations do, the delight his twin took in Saeran's provocations making what will he has crack.

Too easily, Saeran does as Saeyoung says - just as addicted, just as controlled.

(I'm hooked on his every word...)

He presses his lips up against Saeyoung's, hot and demanding.

Just as Saeyoung predicted: It tastes like milk chocolate.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung takes his brother's hands in his own, at the start of the kiss, a soft moan escaping from his lips. Then he presses he back of his hands against the wall either side of him, elbows bent, until Saeran gets the idea and pushes against him. The lightest and sweetest of traps.

Both in control at once. Both submitting to the other at once.

Pinned in three places: left hand, right hand, mouth.

Their first encounter had been messy, unplanned, a whirlwind of escalation after escalation.

The second had been a promise, a seal, Saeyoung putting the choker around his brother's neck only half the ritual, completed when Saeyoung in turn took his twin’s seed down his throat.

Rituals, fairy tales, spells. All needed to finally break the curse over them.

The third time...

...this was solely about pleasure. And raw, naked vulnerability.

Another sort of a promise, but one they'd make to each other over and over.

Saeyoung holds nothing back in his exploration of his twin's mouth, enjoying the faint lingering taste of chocolate mixed with just him, him, him.

His erection is pressed between their bodies, but Saeyoung wants more, pushing his naked thigh between Saeran's legs and groaning, his hands dragging down Saeran's back -- which certainly would have left red marks if he were naked.

"I can never be marked enough as yours. If I could etch your name into my every atom, I would," he murmurs into Saeran's ear as he presses into his twin. "But we can try anyway."

**Saeran**

"Oh," Saeran breathes, "Really?"

It isn't actually a question, or even a prompt. More of an observation, Saeran still not quite believing this is reality at all.

Each noise Saeyoung sang into his ear, every brush of movement against him... gave Saeran a rush of validation that was as erotic as it was empowering.

It makes him want to test Saeyoung more.

Having Saeyoung prove his need, and Saeran rewarding him in turn…

"Not yet." He murmurs into the skin of Saeyoung's neck.

There is a graze of teeth, but no real bite in the movement.

(This is hard...)

He can barely keep himself in check, but Saeran manages. Testing the waters was important, both for their comfort and pleasure to come.

"If you want to be mine... you have to do what I say."

**Saeyoung**

(o-ohh...)

Yes...

...he wants to see this side of Saeran too.

...he wants to see every side of Saeran.

...beautiful, gentle and soft... and hungry, demanding and direct.

...he was such a fool to make so many assumptions about his twin based on his concepts of their roles, his memories, his fear.

The reality is more potent and more arousing than anything Saeyoung had imagined... ...even when he had allowed himself to begin to think of his brother this way.

"Haaaah..." he manages, awash with the sensation of their back and forth, his grasping and Saeran's pushing.

"I'll do what you say..."

**Saeran**

That's what he wanted to hear.

For a moment, Saeran lets himself pull back just to cup Saeyoung's cheek gently, gaze into his twin's eyes and swim in the love he can find in them, before pressing a soft kiss to the mouth... of his other half...

An act just as important.... as what was to come...

(I love you) He thinks fervently (My heart...)

Dropping his hand to cover Saeyoung's chest. For a moment, Saeran lets himself indulge in its beat.

Just a moment.

"Good...

Saeyoung had earned that praise. Such a small word, but much bigger than it seemed.

The only question was what to do next...

It wasn't unlike establishing the rules for a game.

Which gives Saeran an idea, one he's sure Saeyoung would be open to all things considered. "We had a lot of fun on our date..." He begins, formulating how to approach it as he lets his hand trail down Saeyoung's stomach, "It'd be a shame if you couldn't tell someone about it."

The hint is clear: Either call or chat to one of his friends.

But there's more.

"Let them know..."

(Let the world know...)

"Without giving too much away..."

Saeran presses himself up against Saeyoung again, eyes dark.

"And maybe I'll let you touch me, like I'll be touching you."

After all, he knows that restraining Saeyoung like that... Would be the biggest effort of all.

Made even more difficult too, since his twin's being asked to expose himself.

But, Saeran thinks... Saeyoung would find it just as arousing.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran's body pressed up against his, those hands dangerously close to his yearning, rigid erection.

His voice comes out as whisper.

"Then... I'll get my phone..."

**Saeran**

Ah...

This wasn't just a test for Saeyoung. Saeran struggles to step back, hands lingering on his twin’s skin until it's out of reach.

He won't last long like this.

(I'll die... if he's gone too long.)

"Sure..." Saeran starts to respond, ready to concede before realizing that he should probably demand a little more if he really wanted this to work, "I want you to be ready in your room within a minute."

The idea of Saeyoung waiting for him impatiently, rushing to get ready more than makes up for their loss of contact.

(It's dizzying...)

Or is it just that he's giddy?

Saeyoung making him a priority always put him in a good mood.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran is his absolute priority.

Saeran is his only priority.

(Phone, phone...)

He picks it up from where he left it charging in the kitchen.

(Still on silent, with a missed call from MC.)

(Wonder if Yoosung has been complaining about me to her)

Probably.

But this is all he needs, so other than verifying the battery is nearly full again and seeing the missed call, he immediately heads back to the bedroom

Saeran isn't there yet.

This is fine.

(Just in case...)

He places the lube on the bedside table.

Then sprawls against the pillows, half-sitting, shameless, wanting, but not daring to touch himself.

It'd be kinda fun to have Saeran tell him off if he did.

But he wants to follow the rules right now.

This game makes his heart pound...

**Saeran**

In that small window of time, Saeran briefly debated whether or not he should keep his clothes on.

The answer is yes. For now. It reinforces the barrier placed between the two of them, however briefly.

Otherwise...

Alone with his thoughts at last, Saeran gets nervous. (Don't overthink this, Saeran... don't ruin this.)

Already it was so different from any previous experience, so much more trust involved. There was no projecting preconceived strengths and weaknesses on each other.

Only the playful push and pull of mutual desire. Or was is mutually assured destruction...?

That was just as feasible.

Saeran moves back into the bathroom and splashes his face with cold water. Forcing his head to cool down.

(...he's waiting.)

Stepping into Saeyoung's room, he takes in the sight of Saeyoung waiting with barely restrained passion, and it makes all his worries fade away. In their place is only appreciation.

His voice is warm as he joins Saeyoung on the bed, not touching just yet, but... close. "You've been patient... thank you."

As reward, he traces the length of Saeyoung's bare arm with a finger. Fascinated by the goosebumps.

... an impatience rises in his gut, but he swallows it down. After this there is no going back.

"Did you... want to say anything..." Any concerns, or hard nos, just things that Saeran doesn't want to overstep. Things that will improve the experience for Saeyoung and make it the best it can be.

"... before we start?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung turns his head to the side, so that he's fully looking at Saeran.

His face is calm... despite the clear desire written across his body, the way it reacts to Saeran's touch - even just his gaze.

He's on a knife edge of anticipation, and yet, still.

So calm.

"Saeran..." he smiles, looking at his twin like he's the only source of light in the world. "I love you."

He shifts, leaving the words hanging in the air a second. "And I'm going to obey your every word."

He reaches out a hand, but stops short of touching his twin. Knowing that almost-touch was causing Saeran as much yearning as it was him.

A little reminder of their mutual power. And the power of obeying.

"My only comment would be that we're able to involve people in our sex life without them expressly consenting, so I do want you to think about how we go about this in a way you won't feel regret later. But I also want you to know I'll follow you to the ends of the earth. I trust you. I know you'll make this game fun."

He leans back again, and grins.

"So I was thinking about who would be the most awkward, therefore the most fun, people for me to contact - unless I just hit up the chat room in general - and I'm confident the two most dangerous ones are Yoosung and MC."

His grin, somehow, grows more wicked. Maybe something about the eyes. "Want to pick? MC, Yoosung, or lady luck in the chat room?"

**Saeran**

It's just like Saeyoung to tug at his heartstrings as he pleases, plucking them up and strumming them down until there's a strange vibration in Saeran's chest.

Saeran's almost tempted to punish him for it, but... that right now wasn't part of the game. That made it out of bounds.

Still, going from reverent to serious, then back to eager... it makes Saeran's head spin.

Then Saeyoung's grin signals the start again, and suddenly Saeran in back in.

... he doesn't think this will hurt anyone.

(They won't even know.)

Their specialty was staying undetected after all.

As for who and how...

"Surprise me."

Letting Saeyoung have some say was integral to the dynamic, and Saeran honestly wants to see who he chooses. There's just one more thing before Saeyoung makes the call...

Saeran lifts his brother's hand and kisses the back of it, green eyes glimmering with an impishness he could now allow himself to have.

"I know you can't help yourself, but try not to get off on it too much." There wouldn't be much of a reward at the end if so.

And as much as he enjoyed seeing Saeyoung get hot and bothered because of him...

It's still a moment he's not willing to share with anyone else.

**Saeyoung**

Glad his twin wasn’t put off by Saeyoung’s gentle warning, he's not _too_ concerned about involving other people - it's not like they're calling them up to talk dirty at them, just describe the date... all it is is a test of...

...endurance, perhaps, is the best way to put it.

He feels like he's probably going to have to endure a lot.

...he's looking forward to it.

"Then, it's a challenge," he grins back at his brother. "And you know when it comes to me, I always need the difficulty level at maximum... otherwise how will I know I'm playing?"

It's hubris, and Saeyoung absolutely wants to challenge the gods. He extends a fist, raising only his pinkie finger.

"Yoosung -" he wiggles the finger "- is my closest friend. The risk of calling him to me is not small. Plus, he's easily flustered - a bonus. However -"

\- he curls the finger down. Somehow, he manages to make it look ashamed. "He's also pretty gullible. And even when I tell him something clearly false, he's still got a 60-70% chance of believing me."

"So that brings us to-" he raises his palms up, to either side of his head "-Jumin's cat. I mean, MC."

The error is so obviously intentional. He rotates his hands around like curious cat ears, and wrinkles his nose like he's sniffing.

"Second only to Jaehee, MC's attention to detail is sharp, plus, WAY more than Jaehee, she's nosy. And as the party coordinator, if I fuck up with her, I REALLY piss everyone off." The pantomime, is, of course, all for his twin's benefit.

(Saeran likes cute things, too...)

And Saeyoung is certainly a fan of constantly pushing between sexual tension and ~adorable~

And telling stories.

"And the highest difficulty mode is absolutely a phone call, right? So we have a winner~"

He mimes popping confetti, although the hand motion is a little closer to jerking off that is strictly necessary.

But enough goofiness. He drops his hands, picking up the phone from the bed, and gives his brother one last, lazy smile.

"Try not to get off on it too much," he smirks, echoing his brother's earlier words.

Although now that he thinks about it, the idea of being forced to watch his brother have far more fun than he can - hhh.

Probably best not to give Saeran any MORE ideas. He clearly has plenty already.

"Time to do everything you tell me... without question... and take everything you wanna do to me... without giving away the game..."

He wants to spell it out that way, because acknowledging how much power he's giving away sends a thrill through his body.

Maintaining eye contact with his twin, he hits the button to return the missed call from MC, bumping up the speaker volume too.

She picks up quickly. "Seven! Are you home now?"

"Yeah~" he replies sweetly, "Saeran and I just got home. I'm just unpacking the things from our beach trip now~" Just the tiniest bit of protection if he accidentally groans. Just a heavy item. Just opening the car door. _Don't mind me._

Saeran hasn't even touched him yet, and already his heart is racing.

Saeyoung watches his twin raise a hand, still holding his gaze, as MC responds. "Wow~! You guys stayed at the beach after dark? You didn't do anything mean like bury Saeran in the sand for an hour I hope."

(If anything, Saeran'd bury ME!)

At least, that's how it feels right now.

"Hahahaha... that's quite an imagination you have..."

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's cheekiness transforms Saeran's smile from flirtatious to amused, especially with how he seems to take it as a challenge.

Though Saeran had never intended to go easy. Watching others scramble to keep up with him had always made Saeran feel more in control, and it was entertaining to boot.

It's a little worrying, how easily he fell back into that mindset.

But Saeyoung's reassurance helps, as does the intent. The way Saeyoung spelled it all out only encourages him further.

Raising his hand, Saeran decides to start from the bottom. He shifts down, so that he can press thumbs deeply into the arches of Saeyoung's feet, slowly creeping them up to his ankles.

There's no rush. Part of what would make this so tough for Saeyoung would be dragging out the experience, tantalizing him with prolonged touches and making him withstand it all by ensuring he could do nothing about it.

Thus the phone call. It wasn't just to lay a claim. Though the fact it's MC on the line does make Saeran smirk. She may have chosen Jumin, but nonetheless could be an outrageous flirt and incredibly attractive. That's why Saeran had chosen her.

She was exactly the type of person anyone could fall for.

But Saeyoung was his. He bends down as Saeyoung talks, kissing his twin's knee while his hands caressed ever upwards. It was also nice to simply be near his brother, and to touch him. To savor this body and soul he so adored, while also making it feel good without needing anything more in return. That was what made it so different from all those other times at Magenta. There was no blame or hurt involved. No insecurity or torment. No real pain.

Quite the opposite.

Saeran intended to keep it that way. Albeit while placing a kiss on Saeyoung's thigh, before drawing the soft skin there between his teeth.

There's no ignoring the erection so close to his face as he does, it bobbing in anticipation of Saeran's attention.

Presumptuous, like Saeyoung. His twin's body betraying him. So Saeran does touch it, but not in the way of a caress. Rather, he uses his palm to push it down and lay it flat on Saeyoung's stomach. Keeping it there firmly, as he places another kiss along the silken skin of Saeyoung's inner thigh.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung is doing _so well_ until Saeran reaches his thigh.

He knew it would be coming, of course, as his twin crept up his leg slowly with increasingly pleasurable touches.

Doesn't make it any easier to handle the sensation of having his brother

right

there.

"Oh, well that's good then," he hears MC respond in between the increasingly distracting sensations of his brother's mouth on his skin.

"So you two... are getting along okay...?" she asks, clearly probing about the earlier argument the RFA had only the smallest info about.

"You -"

He feels his twin's hand is on his cock, pressing it up against his belly. He shudders, the movement saying _so much_ about Saeran's intentions and his perfect plan to slowly take his brother's thinking process apart.

\- um." He can't vocalise what he's feeling, so he holds his breath a second instead.

"Actually!!" he replies, with just a little too much enthusiasm in delivering the word, "I think we're closer than ever, now!"

He sucks in a breath as Saeran pushes down.

"Much closer."

**Saeran**

Smirking, Saeran makes deliberate eye contact with Saeyoung and keeps his hand just where it is. A constant heavy pressure against his dick, the tightness between hand and stomach almost overwhelming.

But this is just getting started. Choosing to be more aggressive with his tongue, Saeran licks along the underside of Saeyoung's thigh, head practically between his twin's legs now.

It could so easily become so much more considering his proximity, the way his breath ghosts along Saeyoung's balls. Just as Saeyoung begins to really squirm, thighs twitching, does Saeran sit back.

A think line of saliva beads from his mouth to Saeyoung's skin, shivering in tandem with every twinge.

There's something in his eyes again.

Considering.

Taunting. He can see how much he affects Saeyoung, and he wants more of it.

(Show me how you need me... With your body...)

Almost mirroring Saeyoung's plight, his own cock strains against the constriction of his clothing.

But unlike his twin... Saeran realizes he can free himself quite easily, and do whatever he pleased.

All the while Saeyoung would be at his and the world's mercy.

With his free hand he pushes down his waistline to do exactly that. For maximum effect he makes sure to take it slowly too, giving Saeyoung a show as he pulls out his penis and rubs it to full length.

Showing how ready Saeran was to take him.

But not just yet.

Saeyoung would have to suffer a little longer, yet.


	14. Loser takes all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 707.EXE HAS CEASED TO FUNCTION, PLEASE REBOOT.
> 
> Saeran winds up agreeing to something he really didn't plan on as the two continue their phonecall with MC.

**Saeyoung**

"Oh, I'm really happy for you two," MC replies, as Saeran plays merry hell with Saeyoung's senses, head between his thighs.

"M-me too..." Seven returns somewhat breathlessly, torn between balancing carrying the conversation (gotta show off my resolve to do this well) and just struggling to keep his voice anywhere near normal.

"Are you okay, though? You sound a bit..." MC begins, as Saeran pulls away, staring into Saeyoung's eyes knowingly at the sight he's making right now.

"Ohhh..." Saeyoung responds, eyes unable to leave his twin. "I'm just struggling with some of this stuff... we collected a lot of shells."

MC laughs. "That's... that's a really cute mental image. You two... you should post some more photos to the messenger. Everyone wants to hear about how you guys are doing, you know."

And then Saeran takes out his cock.

(Fuck.)

(FUCK.)

He wants to just hang up now. Fuck this game, fuck the call, fuck everything.

His own erection drools pre-cum, standing fully to attention again now that Saeran has released it. But he isn't paying attention to that, despite how much it aches...

...he only has eyes for Saeran, and where his hands are, and how easily his twin could just take him now.

Looking at his brother's dick, isolated, freed from his clothing... it's somehow so much more erotic than even full nakedness. The contrast between the acceptable Saeran everyone else can see and the private Saeran just for him... starkly displayed. And seeing his brother touch himself... while his attention is fully on Saeyoung's body...

(God...)

Saeyoung keeps his hands and the phone where they are, but he writhes powerlessly at the sight, desperate for touch, desperate for Saeran to just _take_ him already, and –

\- wait... MC is talking...

He concentrates, barely. He wants to prove he can handle this. He wants to win.

"We all care about the two of you. It'd be great to catch up before the next RFA party... only a month and a half to go, now!" She pauses, switching gears. "You two should at least catch up with Yoosung."

"Oh... you think?" Saeyoung responds, his conversation with Yoosung the last thing on his mind right now.

"Yeah. He was a bit upset you wouldn't do that group date..."

Saeyoung might want to prove his stamina, but this is starting to get too complicated for him to handle. He does want to make things up with Yoosung, but it's really, really not a good time to think about that.

And his need is getting harder and harder to ignore. "Well..." he starts, planning to wrap up the conversation shortly. "I'm sure I can help him out some other way, just. Not by going on a date..."

"You don't have your eye on someone special already, do you?" MC teases, clearly curious.

**Saeran**

Saeran can't help but laugh lightly at MC's question, clearly audible due to the speaker volume being set so loud.

'Well?' His eyes seem to dare Saeyoung, 'Do you?'

MC has probably heard his laugh too, so Saeyoung will have to work extra hard to explain. Which may be difficult when Saeyoung _is_ so hard.

In a show of mercy, Saeran releases the pressure from his brother's cock... only to take advantage of the pre-cum practically dripping off it now, swiping it up into his hand. For a moment Saeran brings it to his lips and licks no small amount of the cum off one of his fingers - just as much a display to Saeyoung as everything else, letting his twin's imagination run wild.

But that was only the prelude to his plan. (The call is going to end soon...)

He can sense it, so he has to milk to for all it's worth.

Literally.

There's still plenty of pre-cum left, and Saeran squeezes just a little more out of Saeyoung  clinically, keeping the pleasure brief. When he has enough for his purposes, hand slick, Saeran returns to his masturbation. The pre-cum is a perfect lube, and extraordinarily intimate when it's not just his own - their essence mixing together.

The thought makes Saeran heady, and at this point... He understands that Saeyoung is as weak for him, as he is weak for his twin. That there was as much physical attraction as there was emotional.

**Saeyoung**

If Saeyoung was barely in control before, now he's only held together with sheer determination culminating in an ever-tightening grip on his phone.

His other hand digs into the bedsheets, clearly wanting to be grabbing something else. "Haaaa..." he offers, possibly his weakest laugh of all time.

Then Saeran grasps _him_ , albeit briefly.

"Ah!!" He manages, with much enthusiasm, pushing against that brief touch. "Th-that's private!! Top secret! No go info!!"

MC chuckles. "It sounds like Saeran knows."

If you only knew...

Then Saeran starts to masturbate and it's _TIME TO GO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'M GOING TO DIE._

"Hi Saeran~" MC sings out loudly, and cheerfully.

707.EXE HAS CEASED TO FUNCTION, PLEASE REBOOT.

**Saeran**

Oh, Saeran wasn't expecting that. Now the phone call really does feel like more of an intrusion than a game, and for a second Saeran's character breaks and he offers back an awkward: "H-hi."

He never really knew how to deal with MC after... everything...

Let alone during sex with his brother.

He needs to shut this down fast, especially since it seems he's really pushed Saeyoung over the edge this time. A victory that would be much sweeter if not for the situation right now.

It's a risk, but action is required. Saeran reaches out and extracts the phone from Saeyoung's hands, mind racing.

"Saeyoung is... a little overwhelmed now," he explains, trying to keep his voice normal.

Saeran drops his gaze to his brother, mouth curving into a grin at the sight of Saeyoung totally stunned at the turn this has taken. It's not as satisfying as seeing him come undone because of how he needs Saeran, but it's close. It centers Saeran again, and he finally lets go of his dick... just to crawl on top of Saeyoung and straddle his lap.

(I'm getting an idea again...)

"You said something about Yoosung's group date...? I'll go."

That should surprise and satisfy MC enough to hang up, and the way Saeyoung immediately stiffens under him is priceless. The conflicted expression electrifying.

(He wants me, he doesn't want to see me taken away.)

In a way, it will work in their favor too. If one of them goes along with it, there'll be far less suspicion about what they really get up to.

"Oh! Really?" MC's reaction is predictable.

"Yeah. I'll text him."

Yoosung's reaction would be worth it as well.

**Saeyoung**

"Ghhkk-!" Saeyoung does his best not to say what is on his mind, which is mostly

(NO. NOOO???? NOOOOOOOOO!!!)

(IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A WEEK SINCE WE GOT TOGETHER)

Less if you start counting from when they made it somewhat more official.

And already... someone... SOMEONE IS COMING FOR HIS BOYFRIEND!

He's too shaken to see the potential double entendre in that - and the fact that right now, the person must likely to be coming next for Saeran is _him_.

But Saeran hasn't hung up yet, so all he can do is pull a horrified face and bear it silently... mostly silently.

(Please tell me this is a joke.)

His twin's amused face is... as always...

...adorable...

... but Saeyoung squirms under him fitfully in silent protest about _this_ turn of events.

**Saeran**

Clicking his tongue at Saeyoung's misbehavior, Saeran cuts MC off before she can go any further with her questioning.

"Hyung's looks like he's in trouble, so we have to go. Talk to you later..."

With that, he hangs up before she even has a chance to response. "Game over." Saeran tells Saeyoung, dropping his hand to his brother's chest to keep him still, "You lost."

By all accounts, Saeyoung had lost as soon as Saeran had to step in. Saeran mocks his twin’s disappointment, though he can't quite hide the pleasure he gets from this victory. And now he can finally, finally have Saeyoung all to himself after all.

But Saeyoung still has to be punished.

"That was your booby prize." He explains, and as far as booby prizes go it's pretty tame.

(Except he really looks upset...)

That wasn't the aim of the game at all. "But..." He adds, before Saeyoung really gets distressed, "You made a good effort, so you can have a consolation prize too."

It will as much a prize for Saeran.

He leans down, pressing a kiss to Saeyoung's jaw.

**Saeyoung**

He wants to say "...we'll talk about this later..." in a very Older Brother tone of voice, but his heart just isn't in it right now.

They _will_ talk about it later... but what's said is said.

And now his twin's attention had returned to him...

... and Saeyoung's arousal has only taken a small hit from the surprise, horniness and shock mingling together in his stomach that make him want, above all, to hold his brother close.

The kiss on his jaw extracts, then, just an ‘mhhhhm’ from him, rather than an argument.

While Saeran is like this... no permission has been given, but no rules are technically in play right now either, so Saeyoung raises his hands to his brother's hips, enjoying the weight of his twin pinning him to the bed.

(He's mine... I'm his...)

A group date wouldn't change that... right...?

**Saeran**

As if it confirm that, Saeran kisses down to Saeyoung's neck, licking and sucking and finally _finally_ using his teeth in a way that can only mean he's giving Saeyoung a hickey.

With the game more or less over he lets his hands drift more too, moving to pinch and tug at Saeyoung's nipples to accompany the sting of Saeran marking up his neck.

Saeyoung had wanted to be claimed, and now Saeran fully intends to do it.

It doesn't take long for Saeran to need more, pressing up against his twin desperately. (My clothes are in the way...)

Or at least his pants were, and after all that's said and done Saeran is feeling very overheated.

Removing them means removing himself from Saeyoung though, and that won't do.

... Saeyoung will still do whatever he says though, won't he...? Grabbing Saeyoung's hands, Saeran presses them under his clothes, demanding.

"You can touch me now," he says, voice cracking lower and huskier with need. "Remove my clothes for me."

**Saeyoung**

'You can touch me now'

Never has he heard more welcome words. His nipples and neck practically burn from Saeran's touch, and the idea that his body is even more marked by his twin than it already was is enough to push the concern of the date or of his mind for now.

He wants nothing of himself left untouched by his brother.

Lifting the hem of his twin's shirt with both hands, he pants and grinds upwards, desperate for more stimulation, even though it doesn't do him any favors when it comes to pulling it the rest of the way up.

Saeran's hands meet his own halfway, taking the shirt the rest of the way up, his twin clearly impatient to be free of it too, throwing it in a corner.

His pants... Saeyoung wants them gone as soon as possible, and he tugs at the already lowered waistband, hands brushing Saeran's dick as he attempts to remove the garment... still glistening with their mixed fluids.

Saeran doesn't help him much this time, other than shifting a little to allow the pants to get pushed down to thigh level...

Saeyoung does his best to sit up, finally managing to get the pants leg to his twin's calves... and at last Saeran throws him a bone, shaking them off.

Saeyoung glances across to the bedside table.

(Is he going to...?)

"Uh... in case you want to..." Saeyoung tilts his head towards the table. "I've..."

(Just say it)

"There's a bottle of lube..."

**Saeran**

Baring himself with Saeyoung is a relief, and Saeran can't help the happy sigh when he is able to press his skin against his other half. It makes him feel... almost complete.

(Almost...)

Saeyoung seems to read his mind. Forgetting awkwardness or shame, Saeran leans towards the table and grabs the lube before returning just as quickly. Already pumping the liquid into his hands.

 "You're so good." He murmurs, kissing the side of Saeyoung's mouth with a sinful hum. "You knew just what I was thinking."

There's no point in degrading Saeyoung as a pervert anymore when they've reached this point, the entire situation built on giving Saeyoung praise. And Saeran would be a hypocrite if he did.

Spreading Saeyoung's legs, Saeran probes his fingers into his ass with fixed precision. The moment for teasing is over, but if Saeran is going to do this, he still intends to do it well.

Once Saeyoung starts writhing under him, pressing back against his fingers, he's satisfied. Quickly slathering his own cock, not pausing for any pleasure, Saeran soon positions himself to immediately bury himself deep into Saeyoung.

The movement is so abrupt, and the feeling so indescribable, Saeran can't help but lose control of himself and let out a cry.

"Ah--!"

**Saeyoung**

Having been taunted by his brother for the last half hour, the praise feels all the sweeter. Saeyoung had half expected further teasing after he mentioned the lube, so to instead be told he was 'so good'...

He glows.

His twin moves fast. Saeyoung relaxes into the fingering easily... he's no stranger to stimulating himself there, and his collection of sex toys featured a few items that had kept him responsive to that kind of touch, even if it had been a while since he'd been with another person this way...

On the first thrust, he goes balls-deep, letting out a cry that Saeyoung echoes, the sudden fullness inside him only forcing more waves of pleasure through his body.

It's a little intense for their first penetration, but Saeyoung appreciates the intention, how fervently his brother wanted to penetrate him. The impatience with which he buried himself inside Saeyoung...

(He wants me.)

(He HAS me.)

(I'm being fucked in the ass by my twin brother's cock...)

He groans as the thought of it makes him squirm. One hand grips the bedsheets, the other going to his dick, stroking it and shivering at the thought of this taboo they're breaking so completely.

(I'm fucked up...)

Because the act only excites him.

Maybe because in some ways, it's yet another thing binding them as one.

Sinning together.

Saeran isn't showing any sign of slowing, in fact the sight of Saeyoung beginning to stroke himself only seems to have intensified his twin's urgency.

Saeran's hands fall to the bed either side of Saeyoung's hips, as he puts the full weight of his body -- into pounding his brother's ass.

(I swear to god those eyes really do glow.)

Because their intensity is inescapable. At least, until Saeran closes them again, letting out another moan as he feels Saeyoung grip him tightly, urging him towards release. Saeyoung raises his hips to meet his twin's thrusts, panting, everything else forgotten but this feeling between them.

"Saeran...!" he manages, in between shaky breaths. "Don't stop until you come... don't stop until I'm totally filled with you...!" The begging is unnecessary, but he does it for the way his brother's name sounds in his mouth, for the way the begging makes his dick throb with tension even more...

"I'm yours... I'm yours..." He drops his hand down to the base of his cock, close to coming himself, and wanting to last just that little bit longer...

**Saeran**

Mania grips Saeran as soon as he claims his twin, unable to contain his passion any longer. He thrusts deeply into Saeyoung, with a reverence and zeal that can only be cared religious. Each press forward bringing him closer and closer to rapture.

(Hell...)

No.

This isn't hell.

This is as close to heaven as he can get while alive. His brother's body glorious and holy, as if being connected this way was part of God's plan all along.

He forces himself to keep his eyes open, to witness each and every part of this event. Almost coming from the sight of it - particularly when Saeyoung starts to jerk himself off, clearly overcome.

It's too much for Saeran too. He squeezes his eyes closed with a long moan, just as Saeyoung's hips snap up against his twin and now he's _begging_. Imploring to Saeran as if he was the only God that could answer his prayers...

So Saeran thrusts again and again and again.

"Yes..." He answers, because he'll reward the faithful and devout. "Yes...!" He repeats, cock pulsating as Saeyoung lurches in submission to him. Saeran feels every clench of muscle, ever stutter and breath his twin makes. There's a sound of a heartbeat ringing in his ears, and it's impossible to distinguish who it belongs to.

He loves this, needs this, will take this as much as he can for as long as he can. Growling possessively, Saeran fills every last inch of Saeyoung up with him him him. He pushes once, twice, and more - the crescendo of sensations getting higher and higher until--

He wails together with Saeyoung like an angels chorus, losing himself in their ecstacy.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung shudders, undone. Unwound. Exposed for who he is and how much the link with his twin invigorates him.

Without Saeran, life was always playing on half volume.

With Saeran...

Both of them completely accepting each other...

It's... loud...

He'd thought that first orgasm with Saeran had been intense, but this...

Every previous sexual encounter just feels like foreplay for this moment.

(Huh. So, a lifetime of edging)

(No wonder it feels so good)

His awareness returns to the present moment after what feels like an eternal second of being trapped inside a star going supernova played on loop.

He's covered in his own fluids... and his twin, still inside him, who has collapsed on top of him messily, still breathing heavily into his ear.

"Saeran..."

But he has nothing to add to his twin's name... everything he wants to say is in the tone of his voice, loving, grateful, in awe.

He turns his head to kiss his twin's cheek.

(Everything was worth it, for me to get to be with you)

**Saeran**

Saeran's emotions are still running high, and even as his body relaxes after all the intensity, he can't help but still feel greedy.

Just in a different way.

Catching Saeyoung's mouth in a long kiss, keeping himself flush against his brother, he drinks in the tenderness. He needs to feel that love and gratitude, lest his mind gets the better of him and make him start regretting what they just done. What _he_ just did, the anxiety over just how coercive it may have been very real.

Saeyoung's warmth helps with that, leaving only the afterglow. Finally satisfied, he breaks the kiss and pulls out of Saeyoung. It's a sticky business, but rather than finding it gross Saeran relishes in it.

Just as he's about to find Saeyoung's towel again, his hand brushes up against the phone lost in the bed sheets. Forgotten. If this was a porno, right now would be the time they found out MC had been on the line all along.

Thankfully, it's not. But that brief thought does make Saeran think.

(This started with a photo.)

He'd like to end it that way too. Without warning Saeran snaps a picture of Saeyoung completely debauched, cum oozing from his asshole, marks left all over his body. Clearly thoroughly fucked.

Then Saeran settles next to his lewd brother and aims the camera at them both.

**Saeyoung**

It takes a few seconds for Saeyoung to twig to what's happening, his brother's withdrawal being quite a distracting sensation.

His phone is, of course, totally accessible to Saeran by intent - he'd added his twin's fingerprints to it early on - not only a gesture of openness, - but also out of residual fear. What if one day, Saeran urgently needs access to something of Saeyoung's?

It's not like he couldn't hack in eventually, but Saeyoung would rather avoid any barrier to his twin.

So for the first photo, he's not aware at all of what's being documented – but as Saeran settles next to him - Saeyoung naturally leaning back into his twin - the intention becomes clear.

The thought that he'll have a souvenir of their experience on his phone - and that Saeran initiated it all on his own - is a thrill.

...he can't help but 'improve' the photo by sticking out his tongue, parodying one of his own earlier faces he's sure.

But... he wants to look back on this...

"One more... I want one where we kiss~"

**Saeran**

The return of sentimentality isn't a surprise but it makes Saeran flush anyway. Rather than take the next photo himself, he pushes Saeyoung's phone back into his hands.

"You add should take it then."

He doesn't want to be the only one 'doing' anymore.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung accepts the phone, smiling indulgently.

Before he takes the shot, he murmurs sweetly, "You did good too, you know," as he recalls his brother's earlier praise. "You really swept me off my feet, hehe~"

Then he holds up the phone again, in burst mode, determined to get the perfect moment captured as he nuzzles into his brother's face, humming happily when Saeran turns toward him to accept the kiss.

He extends it just that little bit longer, bringing his hand to Saeran's chin... the touch isn't needed for their lips to meet, but the gesture says, lightly "You're mine, too."

As if there was any doubt.

But he wants to reaffirm their relationship as many times as he can.

Each affirmation like a feather being replaced in the wings he'd torn off long ago.

**Saeran**

The praise makes Saeran's expression blossom into something truly enthralling, genuine happiness radiating from all aspects of it.

Hearing Saeyoung accept what they just did outside of the moment, and not only that, but liking it... he feels blessed, and thankful. While their prior kiss had removed any fear or doubt, Saeran certainly doesn't mind hearing it as much as possible.

In fact, "Say that again..." he sighs into the kiss, submitting himself to Saeyoung's mouth and the giving back the dominion he had over Saeran's heart. Unlike before, this is only a request. Not a demand. Saeyoung can do with it what he willed, and no matter what, Saeran would remain forever his.

Saeran is merely enshrining the moment with all it entailed, maintaining their kiss long after the photo's taken.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung lets his thumb trace the underside of Saeran's lower lip as they kiss, never getting enough of that feeling of his twin's lips on his own, of that closeness.

(He really put his all into this for me...)

They part again, but barely a centimetre between their mouths, neither of them wanting to pull apart more than this.

Saeyoung has zero hesitation about continuing his praise. "You were so wild... so hot... but..." he sticks out his tongue, lightly running it over Saeran's lower lip, "still so sweet, my one and only..."

He pulls Saeran closer, and reaches one arm up to stroke his hair from scalp to cheek and back again, gently. "And so quick-witted..." Another, small kiss. "So cute..." He squeezes Saeran's body with his other hand. "I'm falling for you all over again..."

**Saeran**

"... I don't know what to say..." Saeran admits, overcome by each word. "Except that I love you."

It's straightforward and without any frills, but Saeran means all of it.

"I never want to give you up."

He only hopes it's enough.

"I'll do anything for you..."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung wants to say 'Then... don't go on that date.'

But he doesn't want to ruin this warm, peaceful feeling. And Saeran seems to want nothing more than to be held and loved and reassured, which... is at the top of Saeyoung's list of My Favourite Things To Do Of All Time. So he holds, and he loves, and he reassures... he treasures.

And they spend a long, blissful evening relaxing in each other's arms, content in the knowledge that they had found their one and only soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the time you read this, the next fic in this series will be up! The twins go on a group date, and their jealousy grows intense...


End file.
